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How does one get into the lifestyle? - 1/22/2009 12:26:51 PM   
TwistedAffection


Posts: 14
Joined: 11/24/2008
Status: offline 		I'm new to the lifestyle and I know this lifestyle is something I have very strong interest. I have an eagerness to learn and please, as I am a very successful person in my vanilla life. I have had interest in this lifestyle since I was like three or four, thinking back now. I'm very open minded, and don't pass judgement on people around me no matter what they are into and stuff, because I don't want to be judged. I am slowly trying to figure out how I can become active in this lifestyle. I believe we are all equal with switch roles, both just as important. Can anyone point me in a direction of how I should go about this. There are a bunch of fake people on this, I have noticed. I'm not looking to get laid, just want to get much more involved.
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RE: How does one get into the lifestyle? - 1/22/2009 12:34:34 PM   
E2Sweet


Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline 		There are lots of things you can do to be more active.

Check out the local BDSM scene in your area and get out there and meet people. Attend some munches and make some local kinky friends. Maybe attend a party or two in time.

Also, you may want to check out a couple of the other BDSM related sites that are hot now. I'm not sure I can post the URL here, so I'll just say check out my homepage listed in my forum profile, or just Google BDSM social sites and you'll stumble onto the more popular ones.

Another thing to do that I've found helpful in a lot of ways is to become active here in the forums or in the forums on another BDSM site. Its a great way for people to see how you think and also helps to sort of put into words many of your own thoughts and feelings regarding BDSM-related topics... Oh yea, its fun too...

Hope this helps! Good luck!




_____________________________

E2Sweet™
"If it doesn't make you smile then chances are you're not doing it right."

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RE: How does one get into the lifestyle? - 1/22/2009 1:55:25 PM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline 		Look at groups in your are and join, as that will be the best way.
http://www.ne-ds.org/home.htm.
http://www.boston-tng.org/main.htm (this is a group for people 18-35).
http://www.nelaonline.org/NELA.php.
Hopefully you can make friends and enjoy learning that way.
Good luck,   M


_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

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RE: How does one get into the lifestyle? - 1/23/2009 6:00:30 AM   
TwistedAffection


Posts: 14
Joined: 11/24/2008
Status: offline 		I would like to say thank you to both of you, I will definately do more research, I have been doing alot lately. Another question I have, why is hard for a younger guy to find older women with interest in playing?

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RE: How does one get into the lifestyle? - 1/23/2009 6:06:23 AM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		It might not be as hard as you think.  Hit your local groups and parties.  But you might be surprised to learn that there are some older ladies you already know who might be great Mistresses if given the chance.  But you have to make yourself attractive to them and learn how to read and respond to the signals.

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RE: How does one get into the lifestyle? - 1/23/2009 6:15:03 AM   
TwistedAffection


Posts: 14
Joined: 11/24/2008
Status: offline 		Really thats rather interesting, in what sense, dude?

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RE: How does one get into the lifestyle? - 1/23/2009 6:23:29 AM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TwistedAffection
I would like to say thank you to both of you, I will definately do more research, I have been doing alot lately. Another question I have, why is hard for a younger guy to find older women with interest in playing?
It shouldn't be too hard if you are well mannered and go out of your way to be helpful when at public events; someone will likely notice you.    Personaly, I have an ick factor when a boy is too much younger than myself (say >15 years younger than myself); because while I can get down with some mommy play, it blurs the normalcy line in my head if he indeed is 20+years younger, and so fun becomes interrupted.   Besides that, I don't casually play, I only do relationships, with maybe a very rare exception.    M

P.S.  By the way, have you seen/checked out this Bostonseduction website?    Seems particularly geared for younger folks....   I was jealous when I saw they almost exclusively cater to 18-29y.o.  http://www.collarchat.com/m_2411227/tm.htm

< Message edited by FullfigRIMAAM1 -- 1/23/2009 6:28:58 AM >

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to TwistedAffection)
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RE: How does one get into the lifestyle? - 1/23/2009 8:43:50 AM   
TwistedAffection


Posts: 14
Joined: 11/24/2008
Status: offline 		See I look at it like this, the human race was made equal. We were all brought into this world equally. We are all beast of beauty. Some try to act better than they are and try to make belittle others. I don't understand this. Would like to thankyou FullfigMAAM1 for all of your sources you have given me, I will def look into them. Age is just a number, I think it's the level of maturatiy in the indiviadual in which should be judged, but this is my opinion, and opinions are like assholes, everyone has them.

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RE: How does one get into the lifestyle? - 1/23/2009 11:37:39 PM   
EvilKitty


Posts: 148
Joined: 7/13/2006
From: Tampa Florida
Status: offline 		Good morning, twisted. Please consider also asking the same questions of submissives/slaves; their advice or information on how THEY got active in the lifestyle & how to attract an "older" Mistress. My #1 boy uses body language to entice...deliberately making eye contact with someone he is attracted to & then delicately dropping his eyes in submission.

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Save the Earth! It's the Only Planet with Chocolate!

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RE: How does one get into the lifestyle? - 1/24/2009 12:47:23 AM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TwistedAffection
Age is just a number, I think it's the level of maturatiy in the indiviadual in which should be judged, but this is my opinion
Your opinion is perfectly valid, and I agree maturity is not necessarily a product of age...  This age comfort zone is about my choice though.    M

< Message edited by FullfigRIMAAM1 -- 1/24/2009 1:14:08 AM >

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to TwistedAffection)
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RE: How does one get into the lifestyle? - 1/24/2009 1:05:06 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		meh, Full.. I didnt see it as unneccesary profanity.. since it's a fairly common phrase..

(or maybe thats just because I spent 20+ yrs as a trucker..LOL)

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polysnortatious
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CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: How does one get into the lifestyle? - 1/24/2009 1:12:50 AM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline 		Okay, maybe am being slightly unreasonable, so will edit...     
...  Yeah, I have heard about you truckers being bad...   I did call my sister once to tell her that her little one was swearing like a trucker while visiting my home, lol.   M

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

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RE: How does one get into the lifestyle? - 1/25/2009 8:48:32 AM   
TwistedAffection


Posts: 14
Joined: 11/24/2008
Status: offline 		Love your tattoos Greedy Top.

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RE: How does one get into the lifestyle? - 1/25/2009 8:53:28 AM   
YoursMistress


Posts: 894
Joined: 12/17/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TwistedAffection

Love your tattoos Greedy Top.


Sucking up to some of the most revered members of this message board won't hurt either Twisted.

yours


_____________________________

May your service of love a beautiful thing; want nothing else, fear nothing else and let love be free to become what love truly is. -- Hadewijch of Antwerp

As a rule, I don't like to make general statements.

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RE: How does one get into the lifestyle? - 1/25/2009 4:55:49 PM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline 		He cannot compliment someone or it's considered a bad thing?     M

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

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RE: How does one get into the lifestyle? - 1/25/2009 5:56:35 PM   
SthrnCom4t


Posts: 343
Joined: 9/9/2007
Status: offline 		I discovered BDSM online. I talked to people online, and eventually accepted an invite from a group to meet at a Dennys. Shortly thereafter, I went to a private play party. I continued to talk to many people online. Eventually I met someone I wanted to get to know more intimately. He was very experienced and well connected in the local Scene. I learned etiquette and met many people RT. I watched many different dynamics being played out.

Remember, as a submissive you choose to give up control. Respect goes both ways. A good Dominant will provide a safe environment for a new submissive. This includes making sure the submissive has a safe call set up if meeting for the first time. You will make mistakes, but take your own safety seriously.

Befriend other submissives; they are very good resources. You don't need to have your own Dominant to attend real life functions.

Feel free to contact me or my submissive, OttersSwims, should you have more questions.

_____________________________

Sthrn
Honorably served by OttersSwim

'The sign of a developed mind is one in which two opposing ideas can coexist' - Oscar Wilde.

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RE: How does one get into the lifestyle? - 1/25/2009 6:27:11 PM   
TwistedAffection


Posts: 14
Joined: 11/24/2008
Status: offline 		Thankyou very much SthrnCom. I would first like to say you have some beautiful eyes, and I notice you live out in Colorado. I want to live high up on a mountain in a log cabin. I want a spectacular view. I have heard that Colorado is  a beautiful state. What is your view on it? I'm slowly but surely finding my way out to different places within the local scene. I went out to Hell the other  night, a place relatatively traveling distance to my place, although fetish night is on a Wednesday, Friday night was high school/ 80's night and it wasn't to shabby. And I also agree, that a safe environment is an essential. This place drew me in, I will go back and try to make it on a fetish night. Something about the crowd I spoke with who does attend fetish night, says it can be wicked intense. I will volunteer to be one of the first to be tied up.

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RE: How does one get into the lifestyle? - 1/25/2009 7:30:00 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Yes, because there's always a shortage of people who want to be tied up.  LOL.

You'd be better off if you could offer something that doesn't specifically benefit just you.  Honestly, there's a lot of work that goes into setting up, helping to clean after the party, etc.  That's more of a do something for the benefit of the group kind of thing and is more likely to give you a chance to get to know other people.  I turn down play with people all of the time.  (There's only so much time to go around.)  I *never* turn down help for helping to get an event going or getting a play party started on time.  It also gives Me time to get to know the other people who are helping to put the thing together.  It tends to show the people who are willing to pitch in so everyone can have fun, not just be self-centered.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: How does one get into the lifestyle? - 1/25/2009 9:23:19 PM   
YoursMistress


Posts: 894
Joined: 12/17/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMAAM1

He cannot compliment someone or it's considered a bad thing?     M


Not at all Ma'am.  It was just my opportunity to slip a compliment in myself as well.  :D

yours


_____________________________

May your service of love a beautiful thing; want nothing else, fear nothing else and let love be free to become what love truly is. -- Hadewijch of Antwerp

As a rule, I don't like to make general statements.

(in reply to FullfigRIMAAM1)
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RE: How does one get into the lifestyle? - 2/13/2009 7:48:22 PM   
MissDaisy6767


Posts: 10
Joined: 2/8/2009
Status: offline 		you  might want to look into your local or state chapter of Club Fem.

the advice of going to a munch is a good one.. its a great way to start socializing with likeminded people... joining a local bdsm organization is a great idea... going to meetings, events, parties..is also good..
take your time and go slow, you will do fine.
Regards,
MD

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Profile   Post #: 20
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