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A vanilla... or is he? - 1/22/2009 5:50:36 PM

LordDarkPleasure

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The "examples of sadomasochism found in wider society " thread inspired me to create this one, namely have you guys known people for a while and thought "s/he must be kinky!" But could never figure it out because you only had professionnal relations with them? And if so, what did those people do to make you think they were kinky?

I have a friend that I was sure was kinky, only to realize she was only a vanilla with a Dominant personnality.

On the other hand I had 2 coworkers that I knew were kinky, one who was really good a making things have 2 meanings, the kinky one and the vanilla one, while the other would always be the first one shocked at the mention of something that could remotely considered kinky, while even I wouldn't even imagine the kinky purpose of what was being said. When those 2 would be together it would always be hilarious, the first one making a comment, the second getting pissed, and nobody understanding why. Those were good times :)

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RE: A vanilla... or is he? - 1/22/2009 8:05:42 PM

DavanKael

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I can often sense out personality types; ie: can tell if a person is Dominant or submissive or somewhere in between rather readily. It's almost a visceral impression.
As far as kinky goes, hmmmm, a good rule of thumb is that the wholesome looking ones that have complicated energy are usually not vanilla.
My ex- looked kinky but that boy was way freakin' vanilla.
So, I guess the answer to your question is a vibe or an intuition.
Davan

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RE: A vanilla... or is he? - 1/22/2009 9:20:53 PM

pompeii

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I drop subtle hints. Even at work. Mostly at play. 99% of my fiendishly clever (or so I would think) hints fall upon wholly deaf and non-responding ears ... but oh ... that 1% ... the very few ... the special few that react with a twist of the eyebrow, an additional microsecond of a gaze, that knowing laugh ... those, ah those, those 1% are the ones for whom kink is their special pastime!

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RE: A vanilla... or is he? - 1/23/2009 5:07:01 AM

DesFIP

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Identifying someone as dominant in their public life does not mean they are that way in their private life as well. Indeed it is almost axiomatic that those most dominant professionally are most likely to be submissive privately. After all, who wants to work all day and go home and do the same thing for free?

As far as kinky, define it first. But I don't really care about other people's sex lives. If they are happy, then that's all that matters.

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RE: A vanilla... or is he? - 1/23/2009 7:17:52 AM

missturbation

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I'm dominant in my public life, i have to be for my job. Whilst there may be some subtle hints i'm actually submissive i think to play a guessing game with people in public especially in a work environment will more thn likely head you down a wrong path.

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RE: A vanilla... or is he? - 1/23/2009 7:24:26 AM

NuevaVida

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Hmm. Those who know me at work are always shocked when I tell them I am submissive in my intimate relationships. My friends were shocked to learn this, too. One of my sisters, who knows nothing about D/s or my involvement in it, recently commented that I would NEVER submit to a man, ha ha ha....

There are so many facets to people. What you see at work is who that person is at work. This does not mean these are "parts" people are playing; rather, people are complex beings and what you see in one particular environment is not necessarily what you get in all environments.

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RE: A vanilla... or is he? - 1/23/2009 7:28:35 AM

Metamorph

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It seems obvious to everyone else that I've got a kinky side to me... but I don't go to great lengths to hide it either, not having to work in the professional realm any more.

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