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RE: A curious submissive seeks answers - 1/26/2009 6:31:30 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lovemetomorrow

I have several questions for all of you Masters/Doms out there. (Let me add that the relationship is open.)

Would you begin steps to enter into a relationship with a Slave/submissive that you knew was in a vanilla relationship?

Yes, I did. My sub is in a vanilla marriage to someone else.

quote:

What steps would you take to pursue someone in said relationship?

The same as I would with anyone else. My sub and I got to know each other, played together, spent time to develop a good foundation for D/s.

quote:

How would you pursue said person?

I didn't really pursue. It developed naturally.

quote:

Would you allow your Slave/submissive to continue on with a vanilla relationship if the relationship was in place before hand or would politely ask her to end the relationship?

I not only allow it, I expect it. My sub's marriage is good for him. To have that relationship end would be to his detriment. Why on earth would I want something that would not be good for him?

quote:

And now for the fun question: Why?

That's simple. It's because he loves her and love isn't something that is a limited quantity. The fact that he is man enough to love both of us makes Me proud.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Lovemetomorrow)

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RE: A curious submissive seeks answers - 1/26/2009 6:39:06 PM

Jeptha

Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lovemetomorrow

Would you begin steps to enter into a relationship with a Slave/submissive that you knew was in a vanilla relationship?

What steps would you take to pursue someone in said relationship?

How would you pursue said person?

If I happened to be looking and I came across a profile of someone who was also looking, I would contact them and say "hi". If they were local I'd ask them more about what they were looking for and how the search was going. Maybe I'd suggest coffee if there seemed like there might be any possibility of a good match there.

quote:

Would you allow your Slave/submissive to continue on with a vanilla relationship if the relationship was in place before hand or would politely ask her to end the relationship?

I'd absolutely allow them to continue the vanilla relationship. As long as the two relationships could co-exist well side by side.

quote:

And now for the fun question: Why?

I'm comfortable with "known quantities", and I understand wanting more than one partner.
I can do some sort of polyfidelity, where all the parties are known, but I would be uncomfortable with the type of "open" relationship where one or any of the partners can date whomever they want, whenever.

Because that brings in that "unknown" factor, which I tend to not be fond of.

(in reply to Lovemetomorrow)

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RE: A curious submissive seeks answers - 1/26/2009 7:19:16 PM

DominaSmartass

Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline

Would you begin steps to enter into a relationship with a Slave/submissive that you knew was in a vanilla relationship?
* Yes, assuming that the vanilla partner was open to it (which I would know through talking to him/her.)

What steps would you take to pursue someone in said relationship?
* Getting to know the person, getting to know his/her spouse, determining if wants/needs/expectations are on the same page.

How would you pursue said person?
* The same way I pursue anyone or they pursue me...no difference except for the consideration of their other partner.

Would you allow your Slave/submissive to continue on with a vanilla relationship if the relationship was in place before hand or would politely ask her to end the relationship?
*I would encourage the relationship to remain stable and healthy and I would make sure the person, if they were to become my submissive, did not ignore their obligations to their vanilla partner.

And now for the fun question: Why?
Why not? I have a partner that I'm not giving up for anything in the world but I still want something else outside of that relationship. Perhaps I even want several "somethings else." I can completely understand how someone could be in love with their vanilla spouse and need a D/s dynamic with someone else. It's not an issue to me as long as communication and respect stay present between me and the partner.

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to Lovemetomorrow)

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Post #: 23