lilyophelia
Posts: 38
Joined: 1/5/2004
Status: offline
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Please excuse my rambles. W/we're in the middle of getting ready to move, and there's so much i wanted to comment on. Thanks for commenting, and thanks for running with the topic...
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ORIGINAL: Lucky Albatross
Also, make friendships with people for who they are, not how they orient themselves. It is nice to have people who share your life experiences, but it's better to have people who share an interest in making eachothers lives better.
Silly person, i have several friends who are wonderful, but they don't really want to go into great detail with me about submissive topics. There's just something different about bonding with someone who also heavily lives within the lifestyle, and who understands some of the feelings you might have. How many times have you had people who don't understand the need to subjugate yourself to another? i've lost good friends over it...and most people who aren't very interested in BDSM tend to have, at best, a fleeting acceptance of a D/s relationship.
i would love to have a friend that i could go to for support when i get sad because i did something to offend my Miss, for example. Someone that you can share something with, and find understanding, sympathy, support and comfort from. While i completely agree that we're not all just "submissives" or just into D/s or BDSM, when i want to dwell on those topics, it generally helps to have close friends who are likewise interested in dwelling on those topics. :P
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ORIGINAL: newflowers
it is relaxing being her friend and i can be completely open with her in a way that i am not with some of my other friends and aquaintances.
Like, this is what i mean. Maybe for some people, they just don't need that sort of bonding, but for others, i imagine it helps to have friends who can understand your life a bit.
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ORIGINAL: mistoferin
As for finding friends who are specifically submissive or lifestyle.....the boards here are a good way of meeting acquaintances who you can bounce ideas back and forth with, but for more meaningful friendships I would suggest, as others have, to go out to your local groups, munches, events.....and meet people. It starts out slowly...you meet one person....then another....then you meet people through those people....and before you know it your address book will be overflowing....lol. Have fun!!!
i completely understand what you're saying. Where W/we live now, W/we have a local dungeon, and it's really nice. But, to be honest, i never really bonded with anyone there. W/we didn't go often enough (because it was a little hard for U/us to find a place for O/our daughter on most nights), and that was probably a part of it. i think real life friends are definitely a good idea, and i'm thankful for the advice. i think we'll make trips out from the country to more social events in Washington when we get there. Thank you for the idea.
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ORIGINAL:KatyLied
Lillyophelia- you can always try by sending a few pm's to some subs you may want to talk to and see where it goes.
Actually, i got a few responses already! And i think i'm well on my way to joining that LATCHES group, which sounds really amazing in afterthought. Thank you, for your encouragement! You seem really sweet, and i liked your comments on catty women.
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ORIGINAL:perfection20005
I fell that way sometimes. I can't get out much due to my disability, so I understand what you are talking about. I am in the process of joining Latches, it does seem to be a interesting group and hopefully active.
Me too, so...maybe we'll end up joining some other list just so that we can talk to each other! i'm sure you're worth the effort. See you on the list, i hope.
Also, to Notanaddict, i think your advice completely rocks. i mean, it's exactly like that, and i couldn't find any part of your post that i would want to cut, and it was too long to repost. The only trouble is finding those friends. But you're completely right when you talk about the need for "like-minded friends."
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ORIGINAL:IrishMist
I don't go out of my way to only make friends with those who are submissive/slave. I make friends based on who they are, not how they live.
You see, i think that this is a case of misreading the whole idea of the post. Of course you shouldn't define your life by one thing, and limit everything else to fit that preconcieved idea of what your life is supposed to revolve around. With that said, beyond having great, amazing friends who just don't get D/s relationships, and yet who are awesome in every other way, it's very nice to fantasize about having D/s-friendly friends too sometimes. You know, if my Miss punishes me for something, i'd like to be able to have a friend to go to that i can discuss something like that with. The average individual would just roll their eyes at you and consider you pretty kinky...but i completely agree, not all of your friends should be selected based solely on one (or even any) of your interests. Some people are just amazing souls, and even if you can't speak the same language as them, you can still warm each other's lives...
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ORIGINAL:nonuts4thshoney
i really really wish i had a close submissive friend that was local and could hang out and talk about sub/slave things. i do feel lonely sometimes. Not relationship [with Master] lonely, but friendship lonely. i notice because i dont have a special bond with someone i tend to get a little sad at times . i'd like to have that sub-best-friend. It would be so nice to be able to chat over some coffee and talk about how our day was. Not that i can't do that with Master, but it's different. Ya know, like she/he says: "So anything new happen today?" i say: "omg i sooooo got into trouble today and got sent to the rice! Damn kneeling on rice. Why do they have to choose the fricken rice?" she/he says: " i dunno, it must be a Dom thing"
If i ever find property for sale nearby, do you think you could beg and plead (and do whatever else is neccessary!) to convince your Master to let you be my neighbor? You like...restated everything i felt in that paragraph. i guess best friends aren't easy to find, and they're rare, but wouldn't that be so awesome, to have that kind of bond with someone else who can understand you so deeply, and that can still be a part of your life. Maybe i'll get lucky and W/we're secretly moving into a leather retreat or something. ^^
< Message edited by lilyophelia -- 1/11/2006 7:41:50 PM >
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RE: Submissive friends? - 
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