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New Book on fetishes reviewed in the NYTimes - 1/24/2009 5:59:46 AM

hejira92

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http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/24/books/24berg.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1&th&emc=th

I don't like being lumped in with pedophiles, but the author actually had some positive things to say about "The Baroness", a Domme and dungeon owner.

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RE: New Book on fetishes reviewed in the NYTimes - 1/24/2009 7:47:26 PM

GreeneGoddess

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Thanks for the link. Some very interesting thoughts, particularly regarding the foot fetishist who didn't want his wife to indulge him. I find that a very common perspective in many fetishists.

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RE: New Book on fetishes reviewed in the NYTimes - 1/24/2009 11:16:16 PM

ResidentSadist

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“The whole language of S&M is appealing: what we want from sex is that experience of being taken somewhere deeper into ourselves and to a deeper connection with someone else." -excerpt

Nice article, looks like a promising book. Thank you so much for the link.

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RE: New Book on fetishes reviewed in the NYTimes - 1/25/2009 5:06:50 AM

hejira92

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You're welcome. I thought it interesting, and the fact that it was discussed in the NY Times in a non-salacious way...well, encouraging.

GG- I had the same thought about the footfetishist. And I thought it terrible that he could noto share it, but then I thought maybe the guilt and secrecy was part of what he got off on.

RS- That quote jumped out at me, too. I look forward to meeting you in two weeks!

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RE: New Book on fetishes reviewed in the NYTimes - 1/25/2009 8:14:21 AM

TheHungryTiger

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quote:

and the fact that it was discussed in the NY Times in a non-salacious way...well, encouraging.

Just out of curiosity. Back in 2004 when Time Magazine ran the feature story on BDSM and covered it in an objective balanced non-salacious way, did you find that encouraging also?

Or how about when MSNBC reported on FetishCon in a non-salacious way? Was that encouraging too?

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RE: New Book on fetishes reviewed in the NYTimes - 1/25/2009 8:03:16 PM

LifeisgoodSFLA

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Considering that I had never even HEARD of BDSM in 2004, I could not deem to judge that story. Nor do I need snarkiness just because I enjoy positivity.

And although I am not familiar with those stories, it does not diminish this one.

--edited to note this is Hejira, just in our couple profile----

< Message edited by LifeisgoodSFLA -- 1/25/2009 8:04:16 PM >

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RE: New Book on fetishes reviewed in the NYTimes - 1/25/2009 9:21:17 PM

TheHungryTiger

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You haven't even seen the start of snarkiness yet. Try searching the forum for past posts of mine.

Positivity isnt what grates on me. Its that somehow positivity is surprising. A shock. That whenever something turns up that treats BDSM in a positive light that it is somehow shocking and original. Have you turned on MTV in the past 30 years or so? BDSM is hardly as marginalized as people make it out to be.

And its not just YOU either. This kind of nonsense happens all the time. At least once a month someone posts a link to some news article or media blurb that addresses BDSM in a netural balanced way, and frequently in a positive way, and the running commentary with it is "Wow, this is so unexpected".

Compounding the problem is the news blurbs of totaly unrelated topics thast people use to ~prove~ that BDSM is being oppressed. One of the most glaring I remember was a report about police officials on the US/Mexico border crac king down on human traficing that is feeding into prostution rings. The news article calls this 'sex slave traficing' and the instant fear was "Its so horible that news articles like this always paint us BDSM folks in a negative light.".

This stuff should have long ago stoped being suprizing. How many films has Lucy Lu plaied a dominatrix in? I have seen shibari bondage in Vanity Fair. I have seen a documentry on ponyplay on the Lifetime Network. Every Barnes and Nobel I have been in you could pick up a book on kink right off the shelf without so much as having to special order it. Lois and Peter dolls from Family Guy having them both dressed in leather have been on sale at wallmart. Our society is awash in the stuff. Its fun! Its new and exciting! Its titilating!

Yet over and over and over again I see people stare in stuned disbelief when a positive news article on kink shows up. Its almsot as if people WANT to be maragnilized. Even the people who admit that our culture is saturated with kink speak as if it were a bad thing. "Kink has gon mainstream" they cry into their beer "And it is all wattered down now and bland, its not the secret underground it used to be in the good ol days". But I gotta at least give folks like that credit that they can see the kink that is all around them.

Its like an eternal game of peek-a-boo. Suprize! Wait a week. Suprize! Wait a week. Suprize! No matter how many times kink is reported in a positive light, there will always be people claiming that this is somethign new and difrent. That this herlds a turning point where kink will finaly be able to come out of the closet. (I have writen abotu the cyclic nature of sexual revolutions before. Every 70 years it happens again like clockwork. And the 'turning point' for kink going mainstream wasent today. It was Mapplethorpe)

I know even as I write this its all pointless. Im just going to have to repeat it all over again next time Lady Heather shows up on CSI and someone comments "Wow, they treated that in a rather fair and evenhanded manner. I wasent expecting that at all"

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RE: New Book on fetishes reviewed in the NYTimes - 1/25/2009 10:06:47 PM

Vendaval

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Thank you for posting about this book, hejira. Looks like a good read.

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RE: New Book on fetishes reviewed in the NYTimes - 1/28/2009 2:29:57 PM

Cuffkinks

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheHungryTiger

You haven't even seen the start of snarkiness yet. Try searching the forum for past posts of mine.

Positivity isnt what grates on me. Its that somehow positivity is surprising. A shock. That whenever something turns up that treats BDSM in a positive light that it is somehow shocking and original. Have you turned on MTV in the past 30 years or so? BDSM is hardly as marginalized as people make it out to be.

And its not just YOU either. This kind of nonsense happens all the time. At least once a month someone posts a link to some news article or media blurb that addresses BDSM in a netural balanced way, and frequently in a positive way, and the running commentary with it is "Wow, this is so unexpected".

Compounding the problem is the news blurbs of totaly unrelated topics thast people use to ~prove~ that BDSM is being oppressed. One of the most glaring I remember was a report about police officials on the US/Mexico border crac king down on human traficing that is feeding into prostution rings. The news article calls this 'sex slave traficing' and the instant fear was "Its so horible that news articles like this always paint us BDSM folks in a negative light.".

This stuff should have long ago stoped being suprizing. How many films has Lucy Lu plaied a dominatrix in? I have seen shibari bondage in Vanity Fair. I have seen a documentry on ponyplay on the Lifetime Network. Every Barnes and Nobel I have been in you could pick up a book on kink right off the shelf without so much as having to special order it. Lois and Peter dolls from Family Guy having them both dressed in leather have been on sale at wallmart. Our society is awash in the stuff. Its fun! Its new and exciting! Its titilating!

Yet over and over and over again I see people stare in stuned disbelief when a positive news article on kink shows up. Its almsot as if people WANT to be maragnilized. Even the people who admit that our culture is saturated with kink speak as if it were a bad thing. "Kink has gon mainstream" they cry into their beer "And it is all wattered down now and bland, its not the secret underground it used to be in the good ol days". But I gotta at least give folks like that credit that they can see the kink that is all around them.

Its like an eternal game of peek-a-boo. Suprize! Wait a week. Suprize! Wait a week. Suprize! No matter how many times kink is reported in a positive light, there will always be people claiming that this is somethign new and difrent. That this herlds a turning point where kink will finaly be able to come out of the closet. (I have writen abotu the cyclic nature of sexual revolutions before. Every 70 years it happens again like clockwork. And the 'turning point' for kink going mainstream wasent today. It was Mapplethorpe)

I know even as I write this its all pointless. Im just going to have to repeat it all over again next time Lady Heather shows up on CSI and someone comments "Wow, they treated that in a rather fair and evenhanded manner. I wasent expecting that at all"

Lighten up Francis.

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RE: New Book on fetishes reviewed in the NYTimes - 1/28/2009 3:39:23 PM

TheHungryTiger

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuffkinks
Lighten up Francis.

..... everybody calls me "Psycho".

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RE: New Book on fetishes reviewed in the NYTimes - 1/28/2009 3:58:21 PM

GimpinDenial

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuffkinks

Lighten up Francis.

Erm...
As in capnolagnia?
or as in becoming a pyromaniac?

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RE: New Book on fetishes reviewed in the NYTimes - 1/28/2009 5:41:20 PM

beltainefaerie