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RE: Need advice - 1/26/2009 3:19:17 AM

thesugarplum

Posts: 49
Joined: 8/16/2006
Status: offline

I was actually tricked into the enjoyment of S&M, partially. I was gentley eased into it when I was younger, dating an older man. Daddy always warned me.

At first, there were firm, passionate kisses. Later, he'd pin me up against a wall and apply an aggressive kiss. That progressed into my arms, or wrists being pinned down. Than after that a few simple verbal commands were deployed, for instance "get on your knees". Nothing too intimidating. The first time I was issued a command, I kind of saw it more as him politely asking me, but I look back and realize he was manipulating me. That grew into more elaborate commands, and eventually, he had his hand around my throat and was calling me his dirty frick toy. Over a year, I had gone from a sweet, innocent (ah ha ha) vanilla girl, to a naughty love slave. I was changed.

I agree with easing someone into it, consentually. Learning to relinquish control is difficult, especially for the modern high maintenence women of our era. We are raised to be strong, be firm, and liberate ourselves. Changing that belief thats being bonded to our genetic code is a task; but with patience, love, and confidence you and your partner can develop a loving, safe, and sane D/S relationship that you both can enjoy.

(in reply to cagliostro)

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Post #: 21

RE: Need advice - 1/26/2009 6:05:34 AM

robertolapiedra

Posts: 520
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline

Hello canadiandragon88. Try to keep things and ''thingies'', crystal simple clear. You can start with
making a distinction between ''dominant submissive play'' and ''top bottom play''. You can be
a dominant type that likes bottom kink. You can be a submissive type that enjoys topping kink.

You can be a vanilla that does kink. That does not automatically mean you ''are'' kink. It means you ''do'' kink.

You have to go slow to find out. Baby steps and one thing at a time to let the brain
catch up to what is happening. Use common sense and don't let ''your'' desires control you
and your partner. Just put the focus on mutual fun. The rest comes from Nature and will
reveal itself in it's own time. Most of the time you will see the signs when you are not in
the kink mode but in day to day situations. Good luck. RL.

(in reply to canadiandragon88)

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Post #: 22

RE: Need advice - 1/27/2009 9:32:56 AM

everhope

Posts: 2179
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

It's nothing 3 weeks in a cage won't fix. Seriously, like they said already, take it slow.

and for others 2 weeks is enough.

may we all find our bliss.

_____________________________

may we all find our bliss

Resident VWB

We all die.
The goal isn't to live forever.
The goal is to create something that will.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

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Post #: 23