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MistressAinCT -> Andy Rooney on SEx (1/25/2009 2:57:10 PM)
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>
> 1. When I was born, I was given a choice - a big dick
> or a good
> memory....I don't remember what I chose.
>
> 2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from
> the condom
> factory.
>
> 3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for
> sex, she objects.
>
> 4. Impotence: nature's way of saying, "No
> hard feelings..."
>
> 5. There are only two four letter words that are
> offensive to men -
> 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are
> used together.
>
> 6. Panties: not the best thing on earth, but next to
> the best thing on
> earth.
>
> 7. There are three stages in a man's life:
> Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and
> Try Weakly.
>
> 8. Virginity can be cured.
>
> 9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of
> opportunity.
>
> 10. Having sex is like playing bridge - if you
> don't have a good
> partner, you better have a good hand.
>
> 11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the
> dialer were too
> small.
>
> 12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep
> with the enemy.
>
> 13. Question: What's an Australian kiss?
> Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only
> down under.
>
> 14. A couple just married were happy with the whole
> thing. He was
> happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.
>
> 15. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in
> a man's life?
> Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife
> doesn't.
>
> 16. Question: Why do men find it difficult to make
> eye contact?
> Answer: Breasts don't have eyes.
>
> 17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your
> troubles to bed', many
> men still sleep with their wives!
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