RE: How do I avoid scammers and creeps?

RE: How do I avoid scammers and creeps? (Full Version)

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maatsubJ -> RE: How do I avoid scammers and creeps? (1/26/2009 2:23:38 AM)
Aye, havest we a new trollie wollie?[sm=dontfeedtrolls.gif]

thesugarplum -> RE: How do I avoid scammers and creeps? (1/26/2009 2:25:11 AM)
Whats a troll, if you don't mind me asking?

maatsubJ -> RE: How do I avoid scammers and creeps? (1/26/2009 2:28:57 AM)
someone who comes to a forum to create drama or otherwise annoy its real inhabitants

thesugarplum -> RE: How do I avoid scammers and creeps? (1/26/2009 2:33:40 AM)
Oh.. I guess that makes sense. I was picturing one of those wishing trolls I had as a kid. With the huge fro's, and jewel for a belly button. Thank you for taking the time to clear that up!

maatsubJ -> RE: How do I avoid scammers and creeps? (1/26/2009 2:38:32 AM)
roflmao at the image of a wish troll... and thinking that my fro is way better, least Daddy says lol. ok bed time for maat

Aneirin -> RE: How do I avoid scammers and creeps? (1/26/2009 3:25:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheBabySitter Hi, new here, not really here for the forums, just the main site where I am looking for a guy or two to get my kink on with. I was hoping I could get some advice on how to tell the difference between the guys just f***ing around and the serious guys who really want to do my kink with me. I know no one can say what is in a guys head for 100% but I figure those of you who have been here awhile might have some tips that would at least help me avoid some of the nuts and time wasters. I do know about the dangers to be aware of in meeting web guys in real life (I was on a normal dating website before). Are there any dangers that are special to collarme I should watch out for? Thanks This website is just like any other ' Dating ' website, (except it's free), where people are not always what they say they are, and in some respects can actually be someone's personal fantasy, their one handed secret whilst the other half is dutifully involved with the kids, laundry and other doings of normal life. If something appears to be too good to be true, be watchful and aware, people are only people and you do have to ask yourself when approached, is this person for real. Fine engage in an online fantasy if you get something out of it, but if the person that contacts you is all fantasy and no reality, beware The other thing about this website and others like it, is the kink aspect, as some seem attracted to kink as an excuse for mysogenistic tendancies, there are a lot of abusers out there, kink is not an excuse to abuse , beware. Other than that I notice some put in a 'code word' into their profile that someone must use to show they have read a profile, that is ok, but reading is one thing, taking things in is another, as some just scan for the word and then message. I simply in my journal stipulate what I do not wish to receive, but as always I get the messages I don't want, and I do with them, what I say I do with them, treat them as spam and report them, I have just this last five minutes binned a message that obviously did not read my requirements. But saying all of the above, there are some pretty fine people on this site, you just have to be patient and aware, go through the same learning curve as the rest of us and one day you may get to meet your heart's desire.

TheBabySitter -> RE: How do I avoid scammers and creeps? (1/26/2009 4:17:23 AM)
Aneirin, thank you for the thoughtful reply. I appreciate it.

chiaThePet -> RE: How do I avoid scammers and creeps? (1/26/2009 5:56:51 AM)
I need a glass of water. There's a monster in my closet. I'm telling my Mom and Dad that your boyfriend came over. chia* (the pet)

SassySarijane -> RE: How do I avoid scammers and creeps? (1/26/2009 6:25:40 AM)
Actually TheBabySitter, everyone gave you decent advice, it just didn't get sugarcoated. Many of us tend to just be blunt in our replies, not mean or attacking so maybe you should take that into consideration before passing judgement on people who took the time to answer your question. And yes, some of us toss a little humor in with our answers, humor. As to avoiding the creeps and scammers and such, you really can't, but you can learn pretty fast how to spot them. Several have given you some basic things to look for. When you run across one, block, delete, ignore, move on. Simple.

thishereboi -> RE: How do I avoid scammers and creeps? (1/26/2009 6:52:03 AM)
Use common sense and you should be fine. If you are really concerned about it, then get off the computer and go meet people in real life. It is a lot easier to get to know people at events and munches.

RedMagic1 -> RE: How do I avoid scammers and creeps? (1/26/2009 8:25:44 AM)
"Develop better social skills" was useful advice. You will attract less creepy men if you don't post like the crew chief of the Acme Red Flag Factory.

RCdc -> RE: How do I avoid scammers and creeps? (1/26/2009 9:02:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheBabySitter quote: Whats uncommon about this website, can you please explane this? and quote: Just treat it like everyday dating. There is not special difference between a bdsm Site and other dating ones. umm ok, right. lol never mind people I'll be on my way Sorry to intrude into your forums Have a nice day You aren't intruding and these aren't 'anyones' forums, they are for everyone. You will get your fair share of people who aren't compatable or might even be playing a game or something, but that isn't any different to other dating site. Personally, I wouldn't do the whole active searching thing, on a bdsm site nor a 'dating' one. I would get to know people as friends and start getting out more to munches or finding out the recommendations of others. Obviously you didn't take my suggestion as sincere, but something to remember is that you are second guessing the intentions of some and that isn't always good. Remember the written word is pretty unforgiving and just chill and enjoy the whole experience for a while. Most people are pretty cool. Have fun! the.dark.

antipode -> RE: How do I avoid scammers and creeps? (1/26/2009 9:07:29 AM)
You might want to post this on the "Ask a slave" forum, as well. Other than that, ask 'em for their listed home phone, then call 'em at 2am. If they're nice, they're interested, if you get the missus yelling in the background, they're also interested, but you are not. [;)]

Jeptha -> RE: How do I avoid scammers and creeps? (1/26/2009 10:23:21 AM)
Just randomly, I'd say; 1) don't believe anything you read. 2) you don't have to engage everyone who writes to you. 3) have some basic minimum criteria to decide whom you will reply to. 4) try and look for signs of a more complete personality (as opposed to merely a one track mind) 5) look for evidence of some communication skills, or concern with such, however rudimentary.

GoddessTeaze -> RE: How do I avoid scammers and creeps? (1/26/2009 12:02:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: antipode You might want to post this on the "Ask a slave" forum, as well. Other than that, ask 'em for their listed home phone, then call 'em at 2am. If they're nice, they're interested, if you get the missus yelling in the background, they're also interested, but you are not. [;)] Too funny !!! [sm=lol.gif] GoddezzT`

oceanwynds -> RE: How do I avoid scammers and creeps? (1/26/2009 12:09:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thesugarplum Oh.. I guess that makes sense. I was picturing one of those wishing trolls I had as a kid. With the huge fro's, and jewel for a belly button. Thank you for taking the time to clear that up! Oh the wishing trolls were cool. I loved them. Bought one for late hubby when we first met. It remained on his work desk till he retired. Thanks for the memory. Now I want one for myself:)

oceanwynds -> RE: How do I avoid scammers and creeps? (1/26/2009 12:17:27 PM)
To the OP, if she is still checking this post. I have personally no experience on dating sites, but have a lot of clients that have. Only advice that I can give you from their experiences is do not accept everything as truth. Do not be in a rush to 'play', and use the common sense that you possess. Also do not send money, oh my goodness the tales i can tell on that one. Finally, the percentage of finding someone fast is nil. Have patience, dont come on to message boards complaining, because you never know who might be lurking in the background. To start a post, doesnt matter in BDSM or in other dating arenas, people get turned off when the first post is about fakes etc. We know they exist, they always have even prior internet. Those though who are serious about finding a relationship though will just figure you are one that blames life for everything. Just my opinion and only really worth everything to me. oceanwynds

StrongSpirit -> RE: How do I avoid scammers and creeps? (1/26/2009 5:00:57 PM)
While this may sound a bit self serving: Find and read their forum posts. If they don't have them, then look for another guy/gal. Find someone that sounds interesting. Why? Because stuff people put in the forums is there for ALL to see. You know they are not just writing to you and telling you what they think you want to hear. This ESPECIALLY applies to submissive woman. I know you often have a desire to be 'taken' instead of being the hunter. But the truth is, no matter what you want, in this target rich environment, the woman is doing the choosing. It does not matter if you are choosing from among the men that post on forums or among the men that send you emails.

Tachikata -> RE: How do I avoid scammers and creeps? (1/26/2009 7:10:59 PM)
I know in my case I just dont have a whole lot of dating experience in real time, let alone trying to get the hang of the online process, lol. I was married for quite a long time and getting the hang of this has been an adventure in discovery to say the least. LOL I can only laugh at myself for some of the naivity in me when it comes to sifting through the fantasies of others while searching for the reality. In retrospect, it really is more comical than depressing,lol.

emdoub -> RE: How do I avoid scammers and creeps? (1/29/2009 1:20:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: antipode Other than that, ask 'em for their listed home phone, then call 'em at 2am. If they're nice, they're interested, if you get the missus yelling in the background, they're also interested, but you are not. [;)] Maybe not so much - anyone calling me at 2am for anything other than an emergency has just hit my killfile list - there are better ways of catching the married without annoying the 'have a life' folks. Midnight Writer (edited to add response to OP) You've got a point - there are things to consider here that aren't relevant to typical dating sites. 1 - The greatest dom/sub in the world won't be your cup of tea if they're not your cup of tea outside of d/s. Compatibility is a tad harder to find here, because of the extra criteria. 2 - What StrongSpirit said, sorta - if they've posted to the forums, it's a good sign - so read what they wrote, to see if they're still compatible. Not everybody posts a lot, though, so it shouldn't be a total red herring if they haven't. 3 - Ask for, and check, references. Unlike the 'nilla scene, it's considered entirely appropriate to hunt down someone's ex and ask them to vouch. If they don't have an ex, or people who know them in meatlife, that's another almost-red herring. You can't really avoid the scammers and creeps - and they're thicker here than they would be on a standard dating site, I think. All you can do is be wary, and spend as little time on them as you can manage. Happy hunting! Midnight Writer not a scammer, but certainly creepy on occasion.

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