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High Protocol Resources - 1/26/2009 2:30:51 AM   
thesugarplum


Posts: 49
Joined: 8/16/2006
Status: offline 		Does anyone know any good literature for aspiring dominants to learn about high protocol. The husband is actually interested in S&M. I bought him Screw the Thorns, and The Loving Dominant.. and we found them pretty useless (for our relationship). Nothin on protocol. Any advice, thanks :)

< Message edited by thesugarplum -- 1/26/2009 2:31:14 AM >
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RE: High Protocol Resources - 1/26/2009 11:17:01 AM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		Your own brain is your biggest resource.  Or you could read The Sleeping Beauty books by Anne Rice or some gorean books (I've never read so I don't know what you'd find but they seem to be pretty high on protocol.)  Then check the ideas you found against reality and see if you can modify them to fit your relationship.


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(in reply to thesugarplum)
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RE: High Protocol Resources - 1/26/2009 12:35:02 PM   
LarabysLair


Posts: 156
Joined: 5/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thesugarplum

Does anyone know any good literature for aspiring dominants to learn about high protocol. The husband is actually interested in S&M. I bought him Screw the Thorns, and The Loving Dominant.. and we found them pretty useless (for our relationship). Nothin on protocol. Any advice, thanks :)


Are you into S&M or D/s? My question is simply because S&M is about Sadism and masochism and has very very little to do with protocol. Of course the old school leather masters had the notion that protocol was important, but they were much more D/s or Dominance / submission than S&M.

D/s is about protocols, rules, and rituals. My suggestion is to get the SM 101 book by Jay Wiseman for some basic ideas along those lines. But perhaps the book "The Master's Manual" may be more what you are seeking to learn.

Call me LL

(in reply to thesugarplum)
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RE: High Protocol Resources - 1/26/2009 1:26:13 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		Using google can reading up on protocol via the net is another potential source of information. 
Additionally, if you're comfortable doing so, your local bdsm group(s) may have seminars or talks that you could attend. 
What appeals to y'all?  There are no 'rules' other than those agreed upon by the parties involved.  You and your husband can form any protocol you wish to fit your relationship and desires. 
Best wishes, 
  Davan

_____________________________

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-Robert A Heinlein

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(in reply to LarabysLair)
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RE: High Protocol Resources - 1/26/2009 1:57:55 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		Protocols: Handbook for the female slave - Robert J. Rubel, Ph.D.
 
Manual Creation: Defining the Structure of an M/s Household - Machele Kindle (Master Fire)
 
These are the two best books I've found for learning to design your own protocols.  Master Fire's book is the one I happen to prefer.  There are also quite a few past threads on protocols.  You can find them using the search feature.

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(in reply to DavanKael)
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RE: High Protocol Resources - 1/26/2009 2:57:25 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		Actually, this is a very simple view of a very complex distinction.. many souls blend their SM with DS... and that will blur the lines...and SM 101 has little to do with protocol and D/s rituals...

sugarplum .. I suggest RT learning  -- face to face with others, at workshops, munches, meetings and events... search them out in your area.; .. books are great, but they are no substitute for things others have found that work -- look for events that are more M/s and relationship related... those include SW Leatherfest (just over), South Plains Leatherfest, and the M/s Conference in the DC area in the summer... there are others (Great Lakes in the summer).

quote:

ORIGINAL: LarabysLair

quote:

ORIGINAL: thesugarplum

Does anyone know any good literature for aspiring dominants to learn about high protocol. The husband is actually interested in S&M. I bought him Screw the Thorns, and The Loving Dominant.. and we found them pretty useless (for our relationship). Nothin on protocol. Any advice, thanks :)


Are you into S&M or D/s? My question is simply because S&M is about Sadism and masochism and has very very little to do with protocol. Of course the old school leather masters had the notion that protocol was important, but they were much more D/s or Dominance / submission than S&M.

D/s is about protocols, rules, and rituals. My suggestion is to get the SM 101 book by Jay Wiseman for some basic ideas along those lines. But perhaps the book "The Master's Manual" may be more what you are seeking to learn.

Call me LL


_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to LarabysLair)
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RE: High Protocol Resources - 1/26/2009 2:59:08 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Emily Post for household ettiquette. How to serve properly. Duties of a maid. etc.

The older manuals are probably better.

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RE: High Protocol Resources - 1/26/2009 9:21:37 PM   
thesugarplum


Posts: 49
Joined: 8/16/2006
Status: offline 		Let me clarify. I need resources for my husband, the aspiring dominant, for me, the seasoned, submissive.

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RE: High Protocol Resources - 1/26/2009 10:40:15 PM   
MarcEsadrian


Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thesugarplum

Does anyone know any good literature for aspiring dominants to learn about high protocol. The husband is actually interested in S&M. I bought him Screw the Thorns, and The Loving Dominant.. and we found them pretty useless (for our relationship). Nothin on protocol. Any advice, thanks :)


Most popular literature on "the subject" will be close to useless, as little in the way of published works go past the starry-eyed public service announcement angle on BDSM. Having said that, I'm well aware several people will step forward to refute that idea, rattling off titles of books they've read (or written themselves).

The responder in post #2 of this thread nailed it in the first line: use your brain. Use your imagination. Think for yourself.

That you found the aforementioned titles useless is curious. Knowing what isn't on the mark casts some half-light on what is. Make certain that whatever you do isn't done with half a heart. That's the first step of high protocol in my book.


(in reply to thesugarplum)
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RE: High Protocol Resources - 1/26/2009 10:45:51 PM   
thesugarplum


Posts: 49
Joined: 8/16/2006
Status: offline 		The situation is semi complicated. My husband spends a lot of time deployed, so we don't have a lot of time to grown and learn together. I was just hoping to find some literature that could stimulate his mind. He loves to read. I've gotten some very helpful messages, and thank everyone for their time.

(in reply to MarcEsadrian)
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RE: High Protocol Resources - 1/27/2009 12:52:25 AM   
JustDarkness


Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thesugarplum

The situation is semi complicated. My husband spends a lot of time deployed, so we don't have a lot of time to grown and learn together. I was just hoping to find some literature that could stimulate his mind. He loves to read. I've gotten some very helpful messages, and thank everyone for their time.



let him control you on a distance also..msn, mails, text messages..phone.
Keep contact...way better then books. That way you can make up your own protocols....for when he comes home.

< Message edited by JustDarkness -- 1/27/2009 12:53:26 AM >

(in reply to thesugarplum)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: High Protocol Resources - 1/27/2009 5:25:23 AM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline 		There's a lot of good answers here.

I'm surprised the Goreans haven't spoken up, but the men are probably at their insect temple flogging the slaves.

John Norman's Gor series describes a lot of rituals embraced by the Gor community, how a woman should bow, kneel, supplicant, etc. You can ignore all the poly stuff for your purposes.

Otherwise, why not make up your own rituals? Meet him at the door nude, kneel often, kiss his feet. For someone with a submissive mind, those are major turn-ons and he'll enjoy them, too.

(in reply to JustDarkness)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: High Protocol Resources - 1/27/2009 5:33:29 AM   
InnerSoft


Posts: 4
Joined: 6/28/2008
Status: offline 		My interest, golden showers, may not be your cup of tea, but for some of us, it can be a fascinating ritual and protocol.


(in reply to Petruchio)
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RE: High Protocol Resources - 1/27/2009 9:20:18 AM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline 		Protocols and rituals is what ever he decides to set and you agree to ....there is no bible on or core outline on , they are individual to each relationship .


here is some examples

it can be things like set a rule to how you are to greet him when he comes from work or when he wakes up in the morning...it may outline how you are to dress or style your hair for different occasions. 

he may set a rules that you are to leave a note for him under his pillow each day.... it could be to keep a daily journal or that you must dance for him each night before getting into bed.... or that you will sleep on the floor until invited into bed, or that you must wear cuffs and collar to bed each night  etc 


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RE: High Protocol Resources - 1/27/2009 12:42:30 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		You've received some good advice about where to look.  The books mentioned, along with internet sources, will help.  So will speaking to other D/s couples in your area so that you can get a "feel" for the variety of protocol that's available.

I like protocol.  I don't follow it to the extreme that some do but neither am I lax about it.  I've been there with a submissive and the failure to keep protocol in mind led relationship to escalate beyond what I now feel they would have if they'd (protocol structures) had been in place as well as reverberate strongly into the D/s dynamic.

I've tried to help you somewhat by finding a couple of spots and reading through them.  These are a good start and will give you and your hubby food for thought.

As always...and as noted...once you have read and familiarized yourselves with the ideas surrounding ritual and protocol and rules, you can then take what you've learned and apply it to your own situation, modifying things based on your own wants/needs/circumstances.  Good luck...

http://www.seekdiscipline.com/wiki/Protocol/  (written by a dominant)

http://sexgeek.wordpress.com/2008/10/28/projects-structure-and-protocol-three-mechanisms-for-247-ds/ 

http://www.mjstoybox.biz/articles/id11.html  (written by a submissive)



(in reply to thesugarplum)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: High Protocol Resources - 1/27/2009 5:41:02 PM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		Now that I am back from the temple.

Without the knowledge of the context and nuances of the rituals and protocol, it will not have the same meaning. Many of the books suggested so far would be fine. Otherwise, read the series or find some RP sites that have the information.

High protocol is not necessary to be Gorean, and neither is slavery.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_2294491/tm.htm


quote:

ORIGINAL: Petruchio

There's a lot of good answers here.

I'm surprised the Goreans haven't spoken up, but the men are probably at their insect temple flogging the slaves.

John Norman's Gor series describes a lot of rituals embraced by the Gor community, how a woman should bow, kneel, supplicant, etc. You can ignore all the poly stuff for your purposes.

Otherwise, why not make up your own rituals? Meet him at the door nude, kneel often, kiss his feet. For someone with a submissive mind, those are major turn-ons and he'll enjoy them, too.



_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 16
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