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MsMillgrove -> RE: The Lady's List (1/28/2009 11:55:32 AM)
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How you use the list is where the value lies.
For new dommes, it can be really helpful as a way to understand where you might match up with a sub or suggest to you ideas for play.. and definately it is always useful to see--what's the reward, where is the punishment?
The problem with the list lies with a newbie or less experienced subs. They "think" they'd like or dislike--but then.. when the moment comes--different story.
As said above, the list is a good jumping off point for discussions about limits, safewords and ideas for the future.
I don't use them any more because experienced subs know how to answer questions, they know how to present their limits, their likes and dislikes. The newbie doesn't. Filling them out sometimes only shows you how well subs follow written directions or reveals they cannot reason..because they'll chose two closely related items and rate them wildly differently.
Like a lot of tools in bdsm, i think trying it out a list is the best way to judge--does this work for me?
I don't need them anymore, but I learned a lot in using them.
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