First Munch (Full Version)

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Laura -> First Munch (8/11/2004 10:36:08 PM)

I'd love to hear your first munch/ group meeting stories. I'm going to my first munch this Friday. Go ahead and try to terrify me. :)

Also, in your opinions, what is the chance I will meet someone there? Someone being a Switchy/ sub type male who isn't looking for a free professional Domme? Slim to none?

Also, again, if you aren't doing the singles thing what are your reasons for going to munches?



JacquesTreatment -> RE: First Munch (8/11/2004 10:45:29 PM)

I go to munches primarily to stay "in the loop" about events hosted by different groups and to see friends that I don't generally otherwise see. At least here in Michigan, they're not really intended for "picking up people," but it is still a very good place to sound people out. Also, here, the munches tend to be at places with really good food.

--J,
gourmet dom



MrThorns -> RE: First Munch (8/11/2004 10:52:00 PM)

Honestly...theres not much to terrify you. All of the munches I have ever attended were much like PTA meetings...except that we shared ideas for tying each other up... discussed the different things that make submissive women blush...and tips for building furniture and toys. It was very casual.

As far as meeting someone...hmmm...I must assume that you are referring to meeting someone that you may play with or have a relationship with. Answer is....mebbe. Don't go into a munch with those kinda expectations, though. IMO... just relax, enjoy meeting new people..learn what you can.

Have fun.

~Thorns



ShadeDiva -> RE: First Munch (8/11/2004 10:54:44 PM)

Munches are FUN!

I'd bet you will enjoy yourself immensely and if you don't try a different one!

I have yet to find a munch I didn't enjoy.

Have fun! *smile*

~ShadeDiva



SherriA -> RE: First Munch (8/12/2004 2:24:11 AM)

From the FAQ for my munch:

Will you help me find a partner?
We're not a dating service, and we don't do match making. While its possible that you may meet a potential play partner at a munch, that's not the primary purpose. The best suggestion is to come and get to know people, and see where it leads. Perhaps the dom of your dreams will be sitting across the table from you, but don't count on it. It never hurts, though, to let people know you're available and looking. Perhaps they can introduce you to a friend who might turn out to be your ideal slave. You never know.

What do I do once I'm there?
Eat, drink, and be merry. Seriously, find a place to sit, and introduce yourself to the people around you. Ask for Sherri, and I'll be happy to introduce you to people as well. Feel free to join in the conversation. Talk as much or as little as you feel comfortable. The munch is a "dutch treat" affair, so get the waitress's attention and order whatever you like from the menu. We all pay for our own meals/drinks.

As for why I go....to network, to make friends, to spend time with people whose company I enjoy. I have enough partners already, though it's always a possibility that I'll meet more.

It's also a way to get a foot in the door for private parties, etc. When we have parties, we often invite anyone who shows up at the munch prior, unless we get a bad vibe from them.



LadyShoshin -> RE: First Munch (8/12/2004 6:42:12 AM)

I have a saying "No we don't issue Dom/mes or subs at the door".
My first munch was wonderful, I was terrified so I contacted the hosts, one of them met me in the parking lot and paired me with a regular who sat with me, chatted and introduced me to people.

Don't go to munches expecting to "hook up", people in the lifestyle tend to be cautious of strangers. Go there for the social atmosphere, to be able to ask questions and learn more about the lifestyle. Munches are NOT meat markets. Be yourself, become a regular, go to several different munches, each one is different, with a different atmosphere. Even the same munch is different from month to month. Once people get to know you and trust you, you just may find that friendships begun at the munch can blossom into more. Munches are NOT the singles scene, you will notice quickly how many couples come to munches to meet with friends. Munches can be a good place to network, to learn more and by being yourself and developing friendships based on mutual interests, you never know, the people who learn to like you and trust you just may know someone that could be right for you. But don't go expecting that. Go expecting good conversation over one's favorite libation, expect to expand your knowledge of the BDSM lifestyle and to possibly develop lasting friendships.



afmvdp -> RE: First Munch (8/12/2004 7:17:44 AM)

You may want to send a small note to the person hosting the Munch, often times they will actually have get togethers specifically for couples or singles. Ending up in a room full of couples will only benefit you if you're poly and most likely would prefer to end up on the submissive side of said couple...otherwise look for a singles get together and if you're open to ages you are in a much better position as well.



kiki blue -> RE: First Munch (8/12/2004 8:50:49 AM)

I dove right in when I went out in the local scene. First, I went to a discussion group, and discovered that everyone looked just like any other Tom, Dick or Harriet on the street. Then I was invited to a munch that was on that night, which was a lot of fun. Then I was invited to a private club, which was a lot more fun [:)]

A munch is just a chance for people who share similar interests to get together, to meet, chat, catch up, socialise and all that. You may meet someone there as a potential partner, but don't go looking for it. Just go to make friends. And have fun!



dixiedumpling -> RE: First Munch (8/12/2004 12:13:34 PM)

I've been to one and only one. It's not that I had a bad time, but it doesn't fit my schedule. The one I attended had a pretty big emailing list of members, but only about 20% ever attended a munch. The most commonly cited excuse was that they were afraid of public exposure. The pre-munch literture was similar to what SherriA said. They asked people not to wear kink clothing or anything that could call attention to themselves (such as showing off your latest whip purchase) as it was being held in a public place. They asked that you act normal and not expect every sub to call you Sir or to be waited on by subs. That it wasn't a dating club, but just a meeting of the minds.

I went, I met some folks and had some nice conversations. The women far outnumbered the men. Most of the men in attendance were part of a couple. Several of the women were F/f or F/f/f. I came away with two good things: The first was that they were ordinary, like me. The second was that I felt petite after leaving there.



Laura -> RE: First Munch (8/12/2004 8:06:02 PM)

I'm not expecting to meet anyone special, just that it would be nice. Besides, like most singles, it's always somewhere lurking in my mind.

I never have trouble chatting people up and fitting right in wherever I go. I used to be extremely shy. People were asking me if I was a Mennonite. lol Now, I just don't worry about it and go ahead and blab up a storm with whoever looks interesting or approachable. I'm not worried about being left on my own for long. Though I'd rather not become vulture bait for the offline version of the HNG. I'm sure munches have those too.

Also, I have emailed with the hostess. It was from emailing her that I found out where it is and when. I plan to go early and chat her up. It's not a fetish wear thing. She stressed that in a general email to everyone attending. Fine by me. :)

Thanks for your feedback. I'll let you know how it went after work on Saturday.



ScorpioMaster -> RE: First Munch (8/12/2004 8:46:50 PM)

Do not look at munches as a way to meet some one. They are not dating service. Munches are for people with like minds can come together and socialize with out feeling alone. I have never met any one going to them but I have meant some great friends and others who have helped me to understand. Munches are also to be a safe environment for people interest in the lifestyle can go and not feel like an outsider or can feel safe. So go and have fun but not expecting to pick some one up or be picked up.



WayHome -> RE: First Munch (8/12/2004 8:54:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Laura
Though I'd rather not become vulture bait for the offline version of the HNG. I'm sure munches have those too.


Munches do have those but, unlike online, they do not generally outnumber the others. They are usually known for what they are and my experience has been that if someone is making you uncomfortable there is usually someone else (or 3) ready and willing to help buffer or extract you from the situation.

I loved the munches when I went at my old home. I met people I could really relate to in ways that I couldn't with the other people in my life. It was also very educational. Seeing people in the lifestlye being their comfortable everyday selves.

It is also a good place to network and get invites to parties...



LadyShoshin -> RE: First Munch (8/13/2004 9:59:43 AM)

Let me know how it goes, I have never been to the Aurora or Barrie munches, too far to drive when there are so many within an hour of me. Would love to know how it is.

Looking forward to seeing you on Tuesday.



Laura -> RE: First Munch (8/14/2004 6:25:57 PM)

I had a great time. All couples and mostly MDoms and femsubs. I think I was the only Switch. No tattoos, piercings and only a little leather. lol I really did think I was going to be walking into a meeting of bikers. I know it was unlikely but I couldn't get it out of my mind.

People came from all over Ontario but there were 6 couples, I think. I doubt even half of the conversation was BDSM related. Two of the couples were saying it was the friendliest munch they had been to.

Dinner wasn't too bad price wise. I had two drinks and it came just under $25 which is enough for a starving artist. :) I left close to midnight, probably should have stopped for a coffee along the way cause I was on the relaxed side. But I made it here fine. Slept four hours and went to work.

Looking forward to seeing you too. :)



LadyShoshin -> RE: First Munch (8/14/2004 8:07:48 PM)

Glad you had such a good time, you will find that you tend to see many of the same faces at most of the munches. The conversation really runs the gamut & even going back to the same munch, you will find the mix a bit different each month. *LOL* There are a few bikers in the community, but in general we are just folks.

Talked to my daughter tonight and she is thrilled I am coming to visit. Would you like to meet her? She was wondering if she could join us, I can leave early, go get her & still meet you at the place & time we arranged.



compes -> RE: First Munch (8/14/2004 10:30:25 PM)

I'm glad it went well for you!

I was nervous for my first munch too. I figured that most groups would worry about voyeurs and would wait to see if I was trustworthy or not, so I didn't expect a lot for my first munch.

But it went very well - everyone was polite, and the dress was very casual. (There was a fishnet stocking and a leather vest - but they were still very tame.)

By my third munch, I was feeling very comfortable. I've made several new friends, and I'm in an environment where they don't judge me for wanting to tie someone up and whip them! I get to RELAX, which is something that I guard against, just a bit, with my vanilla friends.

I don't look at a munch as a singles club, I look at it as 'networking'. Someone is going to know someone who knows someone. If you are patient, things will work out.

Compes



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