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Rodney Dangerfield - 1/27/2009 7:04:13 PM

MasterG2kTR

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Why we miss Rodney Dangerfield?

Because he said ..
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose.

Last night she used me to time an egg.

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips,yet she won't drink from my glass!

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.

A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home!

A hooker once told me she had a headache!

If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.

I was making love to this girl and she started crying I said, 'Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?' She said, 'No, I hate myself now.'

I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head comes off.

I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen, the roaches hang themselves.

I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.

The other day I came home early and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, 'Why?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.

I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex; she called me from Chicago last night.

My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't have had anything to play with.

Here's one more from Rodney : 'Now that food has replaced sex for me, I'm putting mirrors on the kitchen ceiling'.

< Message edited by MasterG2kTR -- 1/27/2009 7:08:25 PM >

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RE: Rodney Dangerfield - 1/27/2009 11:40:37 PM

FullfigRIMAAM1

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I loooooooooved Rodney Dangerfield. I used to have several VHS recordings of his routine and with young comedians on HBO, but my friends from college and siblings stole them all. M

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RE: Rodney Dangerfield - 1/28/2009 6:43:56 AM

DarkSteven

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I went to a doctor who told me I needed to lose weight. I told him I wanted a second opinion. So he said I was ugly too."

< Message edited by DarkSteven -- 1/28/2009 6:44:18 AM >

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RE: Rodney Dangerfield - 1/30/2009 12:17:47 AM

FullfigRIMAAM1

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LOL

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RE: Rodney Dangerfield - 1/30/2009 12:44:59 AM

Satyr6406

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From the "I-Don't-Get-No-Respect" files: "I came home from work, the other night. My kid told me to go to my room"

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RE: Rodney Dangerfield - 1/30/2009 3:34:34 AM

FourQ

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The only Rodney Dangerfield we get over here is things like Back to School, Caddyshack, The Simpsons etc.

I still have Back to School on VHS somewhere.

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RE: Rodney Dangerfield - 1/30/2009 8:30:19 AM

YoursMistress

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My wife said that she wanted to make love in the back seat. She asked me to drive.

yours

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