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Noah -> RE: Decollared? (1/13/2006 12:40:58 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: caitlyn
Did anyone here really get the point?
She wasn't posting this to us ... she was posting it to herself. All she really wanted and needed was to know that it's ok ... life will go on ... she is young and pretty ... she can stay or she can go, etc ...
Well I didn't get the point. I mean I sure didn't get what caitlyn got but overall I couldn't make heads nor tails of the original post. I assumed that my problem was a function of the Mars/Venus thing--that is to say I assumed that my own failure to understand was largely a matter of my limited capacity to read chickspeak. I tuned in later to see if the chicks were pretty much getting it and to see what it was they were getting.
If your appraisal was right, caitlyn, and based on long association you could read through that post and take that point and give a sista what she need, that's cool. A lot of people seemed not to read nearly as much between the lines as you did, but they did at least try to read the lines.
I just took another look at the OP and saw: quote:
ORIGINAL: riotgirl
Any suggestions wise collarme ppl on where to go and what to do now ... which strikes me as an odd ending for a "Note To Self." Now maybe you're right and you saw right through that, caitlyn, but can't we be forgiven for trying to take the post on what seemed to be its own terms? I was confused, as was another respondent earlier by the "everything is swell" and all the talk about the topping riotgirl is apparently doing (line drawing, kind of maybe beating his ass, etc.) Let's just say that whatever the positive merits of the post it probably doesn't get full points for clarity.
And it was kind of dramatic, wasn't it? It read that way from Mars.
As for the OP really being a simple plea for support, well that's okay but I would like to say this. These boards are full of people telling one side of a story and sometimes seeming to expect nothing but unqualified support in response. If we are really going to try to approximate a supportive community (an ideal to perhaps hold in mind without ever expecting to quite reach it, I might add in recognition of katylied's comment) shouldn't we have a care for the person on the other side of the story too?
And sometimes isn't it the case that the best support for a particular person at a particular time is some tough love or even a reality check?
Yes, anybody can post anything. Anarchy reigns here, almost. But here's an idea offerred humbly for anyone's consideration:
It might be wise to do a little bit of sorting before hitting the send button. If you realize that you are really all riled up right now, maybe it would be well to write out your rant and set it aside for an hour or a day, or at least count to ten before posting. If the urge to get it out there beyond yourself is too strong, maybe send the extremely ranty stuff to someone you can pretty much expect to "get" you.
For riotgirl that might be caitlyn. For me, well sometimes I just wish Hannibal Lector was a real person but what can you do? Luckily I have a number of sympathetic correspondents here and elsewhere.
Sending out the very emotional and maybe not-too-clear rant tends to get a wide range of responses. Some people will respond to the drama (or maybe we can just call it the "energy") and some will take the rant at face value. Maybe if the ranter is lucky someone will see through, as maybe caitlyn did here, to an underlying message. But all of those different sorts of responses seem valid to me. To say that anyone who tries to do some reality checking is being untrue to the community seems kind of harsh and kind of small. The same goes for attacking someone for asking for a bit of clarity.
I don't know riotgirl and haven't read her posts consistently and attentively enough to know what's up with her so I'm not calling her a drama queen. That said, I think there are some drama queens around here. By by that I mean people who love both positive and negative attention and who love to publicly impale themselves on any criticism of themselves whether the criticism is constructive of not, well-intended or cruel.
Posting stuff that looks like a drama queen post can reasonably be expected to get you responded to as such, right?
Having re-read the OP I still can't understand what's happening in riotgirl's house, and I can't figure out what she wants. I'm sort of guessing that maybe she isn't sure either but given my own level of confusion I won't respond to just that.
All of this is why I'm not offerring her the advice she seemed to ask for. Instead I'm reminding myself and anybody who cares to listen to consider how your very emotional and perhaps-not-terribly-well-thought-out-yet venting might reasonably be taken by all the different people and sorts of people who read these boards. If someone--present company excluded--were to get into the habit of putting up posts that looked all drama queen, well, readers would likely be left with a certain impression.
In the real world, when you feel like standing on the street corner and screaming unfiltered shit about your boyfriend (or girlfriend) do you do it? Or out of a desire not to live in a hell where everyone behaves that way do you find other means of expression, private ones? Here's hoping that your other means of expression is not to come here and do the very same thing to us that you wouldn't do to your neighbors. Yes this place leans demographically toward your kink but it is still public and will be a nicer place if we keep that in mind.
Noah
the ever-young and pretty
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