Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: how to use your submissive ways...


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: how to use your submissive ways... Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: how to use your submissive ways... - 1/28/2009 6:35:50 PM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		in any relationship start with the same thing communicate and clarification. keep listening to him and looking for things that will be positively rewarded. always ask questions when unsure do so respectfully of course. you seem to be well on your way to making him happy having only met twice.  i wish you the best on you journey.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: how to use your submissive ways... - 1/28/2009 6:46:07 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SexySassySensual

This is not my dom yet, however he had asked me to post that I am under the consideration of ..him..  He is teaching me ...and said this to me..  "dammit girl... use your submissiveness to make me Wanna MAKE YOU HAPPY "

Ok ..now I am new to the titles  not to the lifestyle ways.. I am new to dating again..and I have been talking to this man, for almost a month now..and met him twice...  He is great..  He does have patience..but when he said that ...I feel lost.. How does one use their submissive ways..

I would like some ideas...please....





Erm... I'm not sure that's possible. I can't make Val want to make me happy. He wants to make me happy because I'm me and he loves me. Maybe he means serve more/better/more suited to his tastes so he feels more inclined to indulge you? You'd really have to ask him.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 1/28/2009 6:48:20 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to SexySassySensual)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: how to use your submissive ways... - 1/29/2009 6:38:28 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		I have to admit that M has always been very clear and concise over the years. I wouldn't want to get to know someone through a veil of inhibiting ways and he didn't either. He's never left me uncertain about anything and I don't have any *submissive ways* unless I'm actually submitting.

Getting to know someone is time consuming enough without putting hurdles up.

agirl



(in reply to SexySassySensual)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: how to use your submissive ways... - 1/29/2009 6:54:41 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		While I agree that it may be very different for everyone...I instantly knew what "using submissive ways" means to me.  For me, that is proactively serving my Lady.  It means getting out of bed with her at 5:45 a.m., ironing her work uniforms, cooking her an egg, brushing her hair out...cleaning up her place, looking after her nails and generally helping her in her life.  For me...that is part of submission - acts of service and it engenders a definate response from Her and I am very happy!

Hope you can find what "submissive ways" means to your Master. 

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to SexySassySensual)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: how to use your submissive ways... - 1/29/2009 7:17:55 AM   
SexySassySensual


Posts: 8
Joined: 1/24/2009
Status: offline 		Thank you so much for all your comments and suggestions.  I believe that I had made both him and I happy...and that is the key.  It was like it was all right there in front of me..and I was not getting it..until I let go.  Then it was just who I am...the person he was looking for was just me.  I opened my heart..the way I have not with any other...and it was easy.

So thank you all again..and I wish you each happiness.

(in reply to OttersSwim)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: how to use your submissive ways... - 1/29/2009 8:51:34 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I think wayyyy too much is trying to happen online.  I'd never even be considering serious submission to someone without an offline meeting.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: how to use your submissive ways... - 1/29/2009 10:39:38 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Draping myself naked over his knee always gets a good response.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: how to use your submissive ways... - 1/29/2009 11:19:05 AM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SexySassySensual

This is not my dom yet, however he had asked me to post that I am under the consideration of ..him..  He is teaching me ...and said this to me..  "dammit girl... use your submissiveness to make me Wanna MAKE YOU HAPPY "




How sweet of him! Lucky lady! ;)

_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e


(in reply to SexySassySensual)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: how to use your submissive ways... - 1/30/2009 3:39:04 AM   
rubberpet


Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline 		I'm with OttersSwim's statement about proactively serving.  I do little things to pamper Mistress.  I often catch myself rubbing her back (which she absolutely loves) and running my fingers through her hair.  I'm constantly showing her affection my holding her hand almost everywhere we are, putting my arm around her, rubbing her arm, and even my hand in her back pocket so I can grab a handful of her tushy.   Hey, it may not be very sub-like, but I am the resident anti-subby and she does have a very sexy tushy!
 
I cook for her, serve the meal to her, and basically wait on her hand and foot.  I paint her nails, give her massages, bathe her, wash her hair, dry her with extra-soft plushy towels, and just generally pamper her like the queen she is.  Heck, when we're somewhere together, she doesn't open a single door.  I carry her bags when she's shopping, I hold her purse while she's browsing, and follow closely behind like a well trained puppy to hold anything she wants to try on.
 
I know whenever I drop to all fours, nuzzle against her thighs, and gaze up to her as I whimper a bit, it usually receives very positive feedback. 

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.


(in reply to MistressDolly)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: how to use your submissive ways... - 1/31/2009 8:54:01 AM   
Anastasia25


Posts: 131
Joined: 1/28/2009
Status: offline 		I believe he is asking you to give, without expectation of being rewarded on your part...but simply to make him happy by being of unselfish service to him. This is a mindset that can be cultivated.

Try by doing things around the house, like cleaning. When you are scrubbing the floors, think of how nice and clean they will be under his feet, whether or not he notices or thanks you. When you vacuum, think "less dust, means my Master's health and well-being will be improved". When you service him sexually, the attention should be focused on his pleasure only.

The other scenario is that you do all these things with a hidden agenda, like "if I do X, he will give me Y."That is being centered on self. So you choose which seems like true submissive behavior.

Being rewarded is a privilege, not a right.

(in reply to SexySassySensual)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: how to use your submissive ways... - 1/31/2009 10:11:50 AM   
SexySassySensual


Posts: 8
Joined: 1/24/2009
Status: offline 		I find that when we are in person it is so much easier to be more submissive.  My problem is that he lives 45 mins away...and we talk everyday online or on phone text, we have seen each other in person only twice..so it is a new relationship.  But I am growing close to him.  And I would like to keep him happy.  I am looking for ways to do that.  I know that once we see each other more and more..(which he says will happen more often) but in the mean time...what can one do ...to let him know I do care and VERY much appreciate having him in my life.

He is very special to me ...and I just want him to know this.

(in reply to Anastasia25)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: how to use your submissive ways... - 1/31/2009 10:33:35 AM   
Anastasia25


Posts: 131
Joined: 1/28/2009
Status: offline 		My Master lives 3000 miles away, yet the love and tenderness are still felt. We see each other every 1.5 months for 2 weeks atleast. Here's the thing. He still puts me on task, like finding other submissives to serve us both and that I train them.
The other thing is we talk all the time! He directs me by giving me plenty of things to study and keep myself busy with.
He calls me at night to say goodnight and to make sure I don't go to bed too late so that I stay healthy.
We have phone sex which is wonderful, because he just knows what drives me wild.
I write in a journal which is sent to him weekly.
And he has me practice certain sexual techniques and exercises so that when he comes to visit or I visit, I can be of service to him.
And I remain loyal, faithful, honest, trustworthy and true to him. He does likewise.

(in reply to SexySassySensual)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: how to use your submissive ways... - 1/31/2009 8:24:54 PM   
mc1234


Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline 		OP, I understand that you like this guy a lot, and you're new to submission and even dating at this point.  But establishing a D/s relationship really is the same as any other type of relationship.  In order to let him know that you're happy being with him, just show him in the normal, everyday ways anyone lets someone else know how much they appreciate the other person.  Let your happiness to hear his voice when he calls come through.  (my dom always says how loves how I say 'hi' on the phone - so simple, but my contentedness shows through my voice).  Send little notes to him through the day, just checking in and letting him know you're thinking of him - perhaps in a flirty way; other times mentioning a movie you want to see and wondering if it's his taste.

Get to know one another.  Get to know what he likes.  What he likes to eat and his hobbies.  Ask questions about him.  Be curious.  I'm not really sure what he means by 'use your submissiveness,' but from your speaking with him it sounds like you're beginning to understand what he wants. 




_____________________________

** Owned by E **

(in reply to SexySassySensual)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: how to use your submissive ways... - 1/31/2009 11:50:49 PM   
ALAstella


Posts: 253
Joined: 12/3/2008
Status: offline 		FAST REPLY

The key to submission is being yourself and feeling it. Can you be submissive to someone you hardly know? What value is your submission then?

Having an idea won't make you submissive. It's a feeling.

_____________________________

The Resident Artistes (by GT)

New Year's Day 2009.
When you don't understand the reason why, that's love.

http://www.simply-q.org
http://www.q-fringe.org

(in reply to SexySassySensual)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: how to use your submissive ways... - 2/1/2009 7:03:45 AM   
SexySassySensual


Posts: 8
Joined: 1/24/2009
Status: offline 		I do understand that the submission is a gift, and cannot be given on a whim....it is to be earned by him...and the more we get to know each other the more of me he has.  And I feel I have more of him each day also.  It is as any other relationship....except so much deeper.    I love absolutely love the feeling as I give him more and more of me...more of my gift..so yes I do understand.
Thank you for your kind words...you are so very right..



(in reply to ALAstella)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: how to use your submissive ways... - 2/1/2009 12:20:47 PM   
StormsSlave


Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline 		There are "submissive ways?"  Dammit!  What page of the manual is that on?  I didn't see that?!

Do the things that please him.  It's that simple.  In our house it can be as simple as rolling him a cigarette or making no sound when he inflicts pain.  Try a few things.  See how he likes them.  Ask him.  If not, try something else.  He probably won't mind being the guinea pig, and you'll have fun, too.

_____________________________

Congratulate me...I'm a missus!!

--nobody's resident anything.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 36
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: how to use your submissive ways... Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109