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feydeplume -> How I Lost My Pants (1/28/2009 6:19:59 PM)
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So one day I went skiing, fully dressed and properly kitted out. After spending a bit too much time in the lodge with some friendly frat boys, I hit the slopes, all 5 of them. Yes i was pie-eyed and so drunk I thought i could still ski safely.
So i get on the chair and my pole gets tangled with my skis and my not-latched on properly boots. While i am trying to get my feet and arms and skis sorted, i got my pants caught on the metal loop on the side of the chair. The person on the chair was NOT best pleased to be stuck in a lift with a drunk spazz, let me tell ya. He certainly told me, all three of them.
Yes I was really that drunk. So some how, I tucked one ski tip through a belt loop and turned to yell at the man/men calling me names when suddenly *poof* the ride was over!
I had one ski in my hand, one in my pants and two (or more) poles swinging around when my boots dug into the snow throwing me forward while the skis stayed on the chair.... with a sizable portion of my pants.
So half naked, tangled in the chair, being screamed at by a man with anywhere from 1 to 5 heads and i start to pass out. That is when the dangling part of my pants got caught under my boots and my poles and RIP>>>> now i am shivering, drunk, showing my days of the week panties and on the brink of passing out. So what else can go wrong, i ask myself.
That is when the next lift chair hit me in the back and i slid down the slope loosing the rest of my pants, one boot, both poles, one glove, my hat, my dignity, and my breakfast.
Ski patrol had to cart me down the hill in blankets and i was banned from that ski resort for the season.
The moral of this story is don't try to keep up with frat boys doing shots and then handle complicated tasks... like walking.
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