submissive or slave?

submissive or slave? (Full Version)

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dplayswell -> submissive or slave? (1/12/2006 6:08:31 AM)
What is someone who desires domination, feels dominated through rough treatment, bondage, spanking/whipping and sex during play, and only desires pleasing the M/D when dominated? Must a sub first and foremost desire to please? Must a slave first and foremost desire to give all, all rights and power at all times? d

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: submissive or slave? (1/12/2006 6:19:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dplayswell What is someone who desires domination, feels dominated through rough treatment, bondage, spanking/whipping and sex during play, and only desires pleasing the M/D when dominated? Usually this is a bottom, or a control oriented submissive. Or could be a dom who bottoms. quote: Must a sub first and foremost desire to please? Nope, there's the desire to serve, desire to obey, desire to be controlled, desire to surrender, desire to commit to anothers authority. All of those can be couched within Ds. The desire to please is just one of a variety. quote: Must a slave first and foremost desire to give all, all rights and power at all times? DESIRE...no. And I don't think anyone gives away power, I think we transfer authority. Slave vs submissive Submissive or slave? submissive vs slave (2)

veronicaofML -> RE: submissive or slave? (1/12/2006 3:48:29 PM)
And I don't think anyone gives away power, I think we transfer authority. ======== isn't this just 2 words for the same thing? in MY eyes if'n ya got the authority ya GOT the power.......

LadyMorgynn -> RE: submissive or slave? (1/12/2006 6:25:55 PM)
I'll probably come under fire for saying this... but it's been MY experience (YMMV) that many, maybe even most subs, their "first and foremost desire" is to get something from the M/D; whether that be domination, bondage, pain, cross dressing.. there is some fantasy that they seek, which the M/D provides. The desire to please is actually a condition of the above; that is, the above must be provided, and the sub's desire is to please the person providing them the scenario or activity they want played out. Doesn't sound too submissive, does it? :( Even many slaves come with conditions attached... they have to be cross dressed or nude or kept chained, or "forced" to do this or that. It's hard to find either a sub OR a slave whose desire to please/serve, IS their primary motivation. <sigh> quote: ORIGINAL: dplayswell What is someone who desires domination, feels dominated through rough treatment, bondage, spanking/whipping and sex during play, and only desires pleasing the M/D when dominated? Must a sub first and foremost desire to please? Must a slave first and foremost desire to give all, all rights and power at all times? d

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: submissive or slave? (1/12/2006 7:58:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn maybe even most subs, their "first and foremost desire" is to get something from the M/D gasp What a horrible concept...that we choose to consent to things in life that SERVE us? To things that fulfill OUR OWN desires? My my my, will wonders never cease. :) If it didn't matter what we ourselves desired or needed, what is the point of consent?

Arpig -> RE: submissive or slave? (1/12/2006 8:07:48 PM)
Actually I have always assumed that any sub would be seeking something they want, just as every Dom is as well. Personally one of the aspects of it that appeals to me is the fact that as a dom I get to help a sub realise some fantasies they may never have thought they could, and along the way I will realise some of mine. Like any other relationship, it is a 2-way street. Even in the trashiest "abducted and forced" online stories the heroine ends up loving it all. again, just my 1.7 worth.

LadyMorgynn -> RE: submissive or slave? (1/12/2006 8:38:22 PM)
Well, yes, but.... I get dozens of emails all the time telling me all the things they want me to do for them.... whippings, canings, CBT, cross dressing.... I mean, the only value I seem to have for these people is that I can provide the above... and the "I'll do anything" part means the whippings, canings, etc. as above. To be honest, I don't see submissiveness in that, because in all these emails, the so-called "submissives" seem to expect to call all the shots; they tell me what they want, in great detail, and then prostrate themselves at my feet for me to do exactly what they said and give them exactly what they want. So... who is submissive? Who is dominant? quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn maybe even most subs, their "first and foremost desire" is to get something from the M/D gasp What a horrible concept...that we choose to consent to things in life that SERVE us? To things that fulfill OUR OWN desires? My my my, will wonders never cease. :) If it didn't matter what we ourselves desired or needed, what is the point of consent?

veronicaofML -> RE: submissive or slave? (1/12/2006 8:53:12 PM)
My my my, will wonders never cease. :) If it didn't matter what we ourselves desired or needed, what is the point of consent? ============== to serve HER as i am ALLOWED to do... but THAT is a fleeting item. every domme is different... and even though i hired-on as service only...if SHE wants to beat my ass i say ok.. it just is not on the agenda.. She has other boys that come in..that She plays with. i will say ok to about anything She wants..it does not matter that i hate it..it is Her pleasure i care about. but She has no fun if "I" aint enjoying it. take care

dplayswell -> RE: submissive or slave? (1/12/2006 9:07:58 PM)
Hello all! I believe I am a control oriented submissive! Glad to finally figure it out! Whoohoo! Thanks for all the help. I know everyone has different opinions about the two. I have been reading a slaves blog lately, and the more I read, the more I thought, "That is not me." So then I signed up here as submissive, but then questioned that too when I read so much, "It is all about pleasing the M/D." I am glad to put this issue to bed. [;)] Again, thanks for the help! d

classykindasassy -> RE: submissive or slave? (1/12/2006 9:09:25 PM)
Confused at the thread of responses. You are asking a sub, right???????????? 'What is someone who desires domination, feels dominated through rough treatment, bondage, spanking/whipping and sex during play, and only desires pleasing the M/D when dominated?' The very first experience I had of being dominated was being grabbed by the hair, towed into my bedroom, forced to suck his cock then held down forcibly slapped, spanked and fucked every which way but loose. This was an almost vanilla guy who knew how far he could go with me (a kinky girl). I went along because I loved the intensity and because i knew every minute where he was coming from and we both knew if i said stop it stopped. It was a game. One we both got off on immensely, and one I went on to investigate and escalate and instigate. Because I got off to the high and the intensity and the self expression of it. I did NOT say stop. I loved the experience of having my hottest desires validated by the idea that a man was just taking what he wanted, how he wanted and when he wanted. I am the one to give it the way he wanted it. What is that?? That is one sluttilicious woman loving giving it up. That is someone who found a whole new world inside herself. One whose whole life has altered out of what it is to submit to life, not just the will of another person. But I don't "only desire pleasing the M/D". I am turned on by the whole shooting match. I desire the pleasure of being taken. I enjoy being enjoyed in my fantastic and erotic response. I enjoy the pleasure my Dom takes in knowing He is the only one that has the right to do me this way, and Him knowing He is the author of such fantastic response. I enjoy others watching sometimes. Why ask why or what? Just adore YOUR slut.

sweetpettjenny -> RE: submissive or slave? (1/13/2006 4:46:08 AM)
simple: He owns me , meaning i am his property. i am also a slave because i enjoy the total power exchange ive given up all rights when i became his

dplayswell -> RE: submissive or slave? (1/13/2006 7:34:28 AM)
"Why ask why or what? Just adore YOUR slut." classykindasassy That is cute! [:)] I really like it. I like when people feel free to be who they are. People into BDSM already take a step in that direction. I am not trying to change me to conform to group standards, but rather, present myself and my interest as clearly as possible. That is not an easy task with so many variations and only the two choices of submissive or slave. d

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: submissive or slave? (1/13/2006 7:44:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dplayswell That is cute! [:)] I really like it. I like when people feel free to be who they are. People into BDSM already take a step in that direction. Plenty of people in bdsm do the exact opposite- try and box themselves and others in with lots of rules and "can't" and "shouldn't" ideas. And plenty of people not in bdsm are being true to themselves. quote: I am not trying to change me to conform to group standards, but rather, present myself and my interest as clearly as possible. That is not an easy task with so many variations and only the two choices of submissive or slave. d Those are only two words which describe a myriad of situations. Words are symbols for ideas. Ideas which are usually far more complex than the word. No two relationships of submissive or slave are alike, and some are extremely disparate from eachother. The idea can encompass them all.

sub4hire -> RE: submissive or slave? (1/13/2006 12:55:35 PM)
quote: What is someone who desires domination, feels dominated through rough treatment, bondage, spanking/whipping and sex during play, and only desires pleasing the M/D when dominated? Must a sub first and foremost desire to please? Must a slave first and foremost desire to give all, all rights and power at all times? I'd also classify it in my own dictionary as a bottom. Does a sub want to please....only speaking for myself but I need to please my dom. Those I am around, unless of course I dislike them. Then I can care less. Although, it is not only my dom who I please it is the masses. So, I guess my answer would be yes. They have a desire to please, at least I do. As far as the word slave goes. It changes second by second depending on whom you are talking to. Last week I even heard someone calling themselves a bottom slave. One who serves at times. In my mind a slave is eternal domination. No walking away. No complaining. Doing whatever is asked of them no matter how they happen to feel about it. It is also important for me to state I know of no slaves currently. Not by my definition. I do know of a lot saying they are slaves yet fall very short of my definition. So, the bottom line is do what makes you feel good. Do what makes your partner feel good and don't get all caught up in other's labels. You surely won't fit.

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