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Adjusting To A Changed Relationship - 1/12/2006 10:44:20 AM

OWNEDBOY27

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Joined: 1/4/2006
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Hi, New here and seeking advice about some suggestions to deal with a signigicant change in my relationship with Mistress. We met two years ago and bonded quickly and thoroughly - on lots of levels. Due to a family committment, Mistress can no longer meet privately with me for what had been intense and fulfilling experiences. We are still committed to each other and have daily phone calls and EMails, with some meetings in public places, but no privacy. Frustrating for us both, so I asked/obtained permission to seek help here with ideas that go beyond what I've thought of so far. Would very much appreciate expanding my understanding of Mental Bondage, Daily Task Management, etc. - or any other approaches. Don't want to lose that sense of closeness even if "touching" can't happen now.

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RE: Adjusting To A Changed Relationship - 1/12/2006 10:59:29 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
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Get a hotel room.

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RE: Adjusting To A Changed Relationship - 1/12/2006 11:04:28 AM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
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A family commitment that allows her to talk with you, email you, and meet you in public but not in private? Without more details my mind wanders to all kinds of possibilities...such as... Would that be a commitment to a S.O.? Are you asking for advice on how to help her cheat on someone? If she can meet you publicly but not for any playtime, why?

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RE: Adjusting To A Changed Relationship - 1/12/2006 11:10:41 AM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
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quote:

with some meetings in public places, but no privacy.

Yup hotels have day rates as well as night ones... Before anyone starts wondering, I found this out because I didn't want to drive home from work one day as I was too tired. I prefer my for fun rendez-vouz at night, lol.
I hope you're not suggesting we help you with ways you and Mistress can continue to cheat though, because I want no part of that.. M

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RE: Adjusting To A Changed Relationship - 1/12/2006 11:34:46 AM

thetammyjo

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Joined: 9/8/2005
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As much as you may wish to salvage said relationship sometimes we have to be brutally honest with ourselves.

If you cannot find time or make time to be together for face-to-face scening perhaps its time to open up the relationship so that you each can have scenes with others?

I'm not saying you should -- only you two know what you should do -- but I don't see a reason to deny yourself physical scening if you can at all get them. If you truly want to have time together you will find ways to make that time even if its only a couple times a year.

As to hotel rooms, I don't think you need money to find privacy. I assume you met somewhere before the question would be why that stopped. Was it at her home? Why not at yours then?

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RE: Adjusting To A Changed Relationship - 1/12/2006 1:06:42 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress

A family commitment that allows her to talk with you, email you, and meet you in public but not in private? Without more details my mind wanders to all kinds of possibilities...such as... Would that be a commitment to a S.O.? Are you asking for advice on how to help her cheat on someone? If she can meet you publicly but not for any playtime, why?

Personally, My life changed to that very scenario--My mother died and I had no one to leave My unmentionable with nor could I get out in the evening as the UM could not be left alone--hence, emails, calls. IM's and public coffee or meals under the guise of "work meetings"---currently the new boy is in another city and I have a arranged for someone to help with the care when he is here or I am gone--one would have thought it was an SO but it was not---could also be care of an aged parent all of a sudden--

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RE: Adjusting To A Changed Relationship - 1/12/2006 4:58:15 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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quote:

Personally, My life changed to that very scenario--My mother died and I had no one to leave My unmentionable with nor could I get out in the evening as the UM could not be left alone--hence, emails, calls. IM's and public coffee or meals under the guise of "work meetings"---currently the new boy is in another city and I have a arranged for someone to help with the care when he is here or I am gone--one would have thought it was an SO but it was not---could also be care of an aged parent all of a sudden--

So you're the one responsible for all the men who approach me saying "my Ms had to move to take care of her family." I'm actually glad to see this story from you because I hear it so often where Ms has to move accross the country or to another continent leaving subs they've known for years, and it's always puzzled me.

M

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RE: Adjusting To A Changed Relationship - 1/12/2006 5:56:25 PM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
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Sounds to me like you are both married or some such thing. Next, I presume both her place and your place are out of the question.

Here's an idea I had on this very subject, and I'm not sure how workable it is. It harkens back to Jack Lemon's THE APARTMENT.

I'm totally convinced there's a market to rent into the priviledge of using a bondage apartment. So, assuming you and your Mistress are a strong item and somewhat innovative, you rent and outfit a bondage apartment --- and then sublet times out to other couples in need of a private, well equipped space. Assuming five (5) couples had access to the APARTMENT, and assuming a rent of say $700.00 a month, then each individual could buy into the space for about $70.00 a person. Timeslots in the apartment would run in 4-5 hour intervals --- say 8am-12am / 1pm - 5pm / 6pm -11 pm and could be divided up according to demand. A double slot would be for an overnighter. The subs could keep the place clean and orderly. Rental figures of course would be adjustable according to location.

The downside of this plan is that I'm sure Managment issues would be a major nuisance and marketing would be tricky -- but if implemented -- you'd have a private, intimate, and outfitted place to engage in D/S.

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RE: Adjusting To A Changed Relationship - 1/12/2006 6:17:35 PM

MHOO314

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LOL no BlkTallFullfig, I never had to move and to be honest My situation only affected a P/T submissive so no I am not the reason---smiles

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RE: Adjusting To A Changed Relationship - 1/14/2006 7:52:07 AM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
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I was recently contacted by a sub male with whom I'd ended a relationship several years ago. We had met, connected on many levels, engaged in a mutually exciting, and deeply satisfying intimate relationship, and had just begun to explore our BDSM possibilities when I cleverly discovered, to My dismay, that he was actively pursuing six other relationships simultaneously. Needless to say, our relationship ended abruptly.

Now, he's married to one of the six. Fascinating. He's so happy that he begs to serve Me as a submissive. He now has 'a family commitment', but he'd like to email every day, phone every evening (he travels daily) and of course, hopefully engage Me in a BDSM relationship that is completely devoid of any "intimate-aka-direct-sexual" contact because that seems to make him believe that a "mental" BDSM relationship on the sly would not be 'intimate' in any way and would not 'violate' his vows to his new wife.

<smacks forehead, and busts out laffing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oi! Vey!

Can't have your cake and eat it, too, ownedboy27. End this psychological madness. Go find someone who does not have 'a family commitment'. Trying to bend the rules and then justify the actions isn't healthy for anyone involved.

TexasMaam

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