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collaring - 1/12/2006 1:51:10 PM

TooKind

Posts: 18
Joined: 7/28/2005
Status: offline

We are a Dom couple. We know a male submissive who is showing 'signs' that he would like us to 'own' him.
To be honest we have never been interested in owning anyone, lol, its all rather a fun thing for us.
But we are tempted to give him a go, as we have seemed to have 'hit' it off!

Question from a could be new owner..... has anyone got the right to see others at the same time, or is it a bit like a marriage and you have to be faithful and commited to each other!

Do we need to have a 'ceremony' or exchange some kind of token to show ownership?

Is there anything else we should consider.

T&K

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RE: collaring - 1/12/2006 1:54:03 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TooKind
Question from a could be new owner..... has anyone got the right to see others at the same time, or is it a bit like a marriage and you have to be faithful and commited to each other!

Whatever you want. Do what works for you.

Both types exist. In my previous relationship, I was encouraged to find other partners. In all of my other relationships, I was forbidden to have other partners.

quote:

Do we need to have a 'ceremony' or exchange some kind of token to show ownership?

Whatever you enjoy the most. Lots of people find it romantic and meaningful.

quote:

Is there anything else we should consider.

T&K

That if you are asking these questions that you aren't ready to take this step for awhile yet. This is all about being yourself, and doing what works for you. If you want to enjoy and have it be fun, then go for it, but I don't think you're ready for a serious commitment as this yet. Take more time, hash out the little details and let life throw you a few more bumps so you can work together through them. Then you will know the answers on your own.

_____________________________

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"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: collaring - 1/12/2006 2:24:48 PM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
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Do what works for you and is right to you, simply.

Collaring or ceremonial acts of any sort will do. This is not to say they are to be taken frivolously or without meaning. Contemplate deeply about what you want and expect, and certainly make sure this submissive is on the same page.

< Message edited by amayos -- 1/12/2006 2:25:55 PM >

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RE: collaring - 1/12/2006 3:47:10 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

1. Spend some time together and hash out what you two want and expect as Dominants from the relationship with your first sub.

2. Find out what he wants and expects from the relationship.

3. List all restristions both hard and soft.

4. Work out how often you will be together and if it includes all nighters etc.

5. Finally, why not work on a timed collar, in which the collar lasts for a set period like 6 months or so to give you all a chance to see if this is for you. If you all want to continue after this trial period, then you can recollar for an indefinate period.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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RE: collaring - 1/12/2006 4:14:19 PM

truesub4u

Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

1. Spend some time together and hash out what you two want and expect as Dominants from the relationship with your first sub.

2. Find out what he wants and expects from the relationship.

3. List all restristions both hard and soft.

4. Work out how often you will be together and if it includes all nighters etc.

5. Finally, why not work on a timed collar, in which the collar lasts for a set period like 6 months or so to give you all a chance to see if this is for you. If you all want to continue after this trial period, then you can recollar for an indefinate period.

Makes sense to me. Even surprised to see the 5th one. Not many people even consider timed collars. But it is a good idea.

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RE: collaring - 1/12/2006 4:37:55 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

1. Spend some time together and hash out what you two want and expect as Dominants from the relationship with your first sub.

2. Find out what he wants and expects from the relationship.

3. List all restristions both hard and soft.

4. Work out how often you will be together and if it includes all nighters etc.

5. Finally, why not work on a timed collar, in which the collar lasts for a set period like 6 months or so to give you all a chance to see if this is for you. If you all want to continue after this trial period, then you can recollar for an indefinate period.

Makes sense to me. Even surprised to see the 5th one. Not many people even consider timed collars. But it is a good idea.

The fifth one is pretty logical really especially if you don’t use a Collar of Consideration. I only have two collars in my home, the House Collar and the Personal Collar (either mine or my Wife/FC’s). The initial House Collar is probationary and may be for one to three months to allow a new slave to get to know us and how we live and operate as well as us getting to know her. If she passes muster she gets a fully fledged House Collar which is a step towards a Personal Collar if this is what is wanted.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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RE: collaring - 1/12/2006 4:43:07 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TooKind

We are a Dom couple. We know a male submissive who is showing 'signs' that he would like us to 'own' him.
To be honest we have never been interested in owning anyone, lol, its all rather a fun thing for us.
But we are tempted to give him a go, as we have seemed to have 'hit' it off!

Question from a could be new owner..... has anyone got the right to see others at the same time, or is it a bit like a marriage and you have to be faithful and commited to each other!

Do we need to have a 'ceremony' or exchange some kind of token to show ownership?

Is there anything else we should consider.

T&K

What I don't see here is what you want to do--nor what does collaring mean to the submissive? IMHEO, these two issues must be resolved, if it is all in play, have him wear a collar when you play--but everyone has different feelings about collaring, some treat it as nothing, I treat it very seriously--and I know My boy does as well--there are many sites that you can get information on ceremonies---but I would at first blush say a sub who is showing "sign" and you have never considered it is topping from the bottom---

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Mistress Hathor

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RE: collaring - 1/12/2006 9:24:28 PM

truesub4u

Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

1. Spend some time together and hash out what you two want and expect as Dominants from the relationship with your first sub.

2. Find out what he wants and expects from the relationship.

3. List all restristions both hard and soft.

4. Work out how often you will be together and if it includes all nighters etc.

5. Finally, why not work on a timed collar, in which the collar lasts for a set period like 6 months or so to give you all a chance to see if this is for you. If you all want to continue after this trial period, then you can recollar for an indefinate period.

Makes sense to me. Even surprised to see the 5th one. Not many people even consider timed collars. But it is a good idea.

The fifth one is pretty logical really especially if you don’t use a Collar of Consideration. I only have two collars in my home, the House Collar and the Personal Collar (either mine or my Wife/FC’s). The initial House Collar is probationary and may be for one to three months to allow a new slave to get to know us and how we live and operate as well as us getting to know her. If she passes muster she gets a fully fledged House Collar which is a step towards a Personal Collar if this is what is wanted.

I find this very unique. And have brought this up to Master, being how this subject has come up a few times on finding another sub for our home. It's nothing in stone, just a passing thought on his behalf. Thank you for this information IronBear.

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