RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom?

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? (Full Version)

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NCNutCase -> RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? (1/31/2009 6:44:49 PM)
Are you considering marrying the guy or dating him? I completely agree that being 12 years older than you gives him a lot more life experience... which just might mean he has more to offer a mature 18 year old than a guy your own age... If you enjoy talking to him, then talk to him... if while getting to know each other a relationship developes, go with it... keep your senses and don't become so vulnerable to him that you can't step back... In all honesty, most of the responses I've read (and I have not read every post in this thread) that are telling you not to give the guy a chance sound quite paranoid... Take the warnings offered here and be careful... and take the encouragements and live a little... the balance will serve you well ;-)

lilmisssubmiss -> RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? (1/31/2009 11:00:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NCNutCase Are you considering marrying the guy or dating him? I completely agree that being 12 years older than you gives him a lot more life experience... which just might mean he has more to offer a mature 18 year old than a guy your own age... If you enjoy talking to him, then talk to him... if while getting to know each other a relationship developes, go with it... keep your senses and don't become so vulnerable to him that you can't step back... In all honesty, most of the responses I've read (and I have not read every post in this thread) that are telling you not to give the guy a chance sound quite paranoid... Take the warnings offered here and be careful... and take the encouragements and live a little... the balance will serve you well ;-) ya couldn't agree with you more.

JustDarkness -> RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? (1/31/2009 11:35:17 PM)
quote: What is really going to shock you later on..like when you are 40, is just how immature guys of 30 are..they just want to get laid of course...

Needysubgrl -> RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? (1/31/2009 11:57:03 PM)
My first Dom was 17 years older than me and my Master was 36 years older than me. Both were mutally fulfilling relationships. The chronological age doesn't matter. Do what feels right and what makes you happy.

VioletAshes -> RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? (2/1/2009 2:44:22 AM)
There are 12 years between my Husband and I and it has always worked very well for us... I suppose it depends on where you are in your life and what you both want from it.

MasterLark -> RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? (2/1/2009 8:26:22 AM)
I will turn the question around: is an 18 year old sub too young for any age Dom? My view: Yes. This does not negate anything about an 18-year-old being a sub by disposition, but I think it is too young for a Dom to be having a relationship in BDSM with an 18 year old. Regardless of which gender is the Dom(mme) and which is the sub. I opt for more life experience beyond age 18 because of the special challenges in BDSM, emotionally, psychologically, physically, spiritually.

MarsBonfire -> RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? (2/1/2009 8:36:08 AM)
MarsBonfire's secret to a happy life: as long as the law is okay with it, don't give a flying fuck about what anyone else is thinking.

MistresseLotus -> RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? (2/1/2009 8:38:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MarsBonfire MarsBonfire's secret to a happy life: as long as the law is okay with it, don't give a flying fuck about what anyone else is thinking. If only life were that simple.

feydeplume -> RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? (2/1/2009 8:55:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterLark I will turn the question around: is an 18 year old sub too young for any age Dom? My view: Yes. This does not negate anything about an 18-year-old being a sub by disposition, but I think it is too young for a Dom to be having a relationship in BDSM with an 18 year old. Regardless of which gender is the Dom(mme) and which is the sub. I opt for more life experience beyond age 18 because of the special challenges in BDSM, emotionally, psychologically, physically, spiritually. I find I want to argue with you, pull the semantics game, and challenge you on this, but that is because it implies that I lived my life "wrong" and that my D's were "wrong" to be with me when I was young. I am sorry that you feel that young adults are too young to explore their sexuality (BDSM) or relationship types (D/s) since that is the age that most people ARE exploring those things legally. I get that for you, they are too young (not enough life experience), I really do get that. I guess the wording just hit a nerve about how younger=stupid, incapable, malleable, lacking in worth and value, and inherently not worth it. Anyhoo... it is a valid point, in so far as it goes, that a first relationship tends to have a lasting effect on a person. But if you feel that D/s-BDSM relationship aren't a good direction or life choice for someone, what are you doing here?

cjan -> RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? (2/1/2009 9:00:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy Age matters. It's that simple. Do I like the idea of pounding on the tight beautiful flesh of some pup? Sure...I gotta dick ....means that I think like a man. Compatability is essential as well. However, even though it is true that age is not the sole measure of one's character and the underlying compatability it does play a huge role in determining one's life experiences. Tits that don't sag, a vagina untouched by the rigors of childbirth along with thousands of plunderings and an ass that you can crack an egg on, are all pretty damn fine qualities. The question becomes how much bullshit am I going to have to swallow to enjoy these wonderful perks of youth? Apparently out here it is quite a lot. Words of wisdom, as usual. We've missed you , bro.

MasterLark -> RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? (2/1/2009 9:08:26 AM)
quote: I guess the wording just hit a nerve about how younger=stupid, incapable, malleable, lacking in worth and value, and inherently not worth it. If I was clumsy with my wording that you got that, then let me correct it. Too young does not mean = stupid, etc. "Too young" was the term used by the OP. It is a loaded term, positive and negative. Perhaps "too soon" would have been more precise. That is not to knock anyone for whom it did work out for at age 18 or younger, just my preference and perspective. A D/s -- BDSM relationship is a good life choice for someone; I believe it has a better chance of working out well with more life experience beyond age 18.

feydeplume -> RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? (2/1/2009 9:13:33 AM)
Thank you for taking the time and effort to type that. I feel a bit silly getting bitchy about it, honestly. Yes a lot of my early WIITWD relationship didn't last for a lifetime, but they weren't supposed to. It was about learning and growing and having a ton of good sex. So they worked out for me (and i would like to think for my partners) for what we wanted out of them. Relationships are hard and complicated and wonderful and strange at any age, i guess.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? (2/1/2009 10:33:28 AM)
Well speaking as someone who was actively involved at 18 and involved with someone 42 at the time, I can say my special challenges would have been in pretending to be vanilla and miserable in the process. Not sure why I need to do that just so I can come out of the closet at some nebulous "right time" later in life?

domiguy -> RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? (2/1/2009 10:54:34 AM)
Okeeeedokee. Maybe it is time to view this from a man's perspective. Or "the older person's perspective." 18 compared to 30. There is a lot of growing up that transpires between those two ages. I value conversation and a relevant view. The chances are slim that I will find that in someone that is 18 to their early twenties. What possibly would we have in common outside of the things I could do to/with her? That might be enough for awhile. However, sooner or later I know I would be pondering if the medical field had developed the technology where it finally might be possible to replace "her" brain with that from a more developed single cell creature.

cjan -> RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? (2/1/2009 11:03:44 AM)
Yeah, but you'd still be missing that ass that you could crack an egg on. Nothing's "perfect".

Aynne88 -> RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? (2/1/2009 11:10:39 AM)
When I was 18, I had my own apartment, was selling cars, and going to college. My boyfriend was 35, my manager, and a complete tool. While I read, and studied, he perused Penthouse and watched sports. Truly, he had the brains and emotional development of a tic. No wonder he was married 5 times. No, I was not one. Not all 18 years olds are fluff heads domiguy. By the way, where have you been? [8D]

DesFIP -> RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? (2/1/2009 12:10:54 PM)
The only one who can decide this is the op. If she needs someone she can bring home and meet her family, then this isn't a good idea. If she's fine telling her parents that she isn't seeing anyone when she is, not seeing him except while away at school, not talking to him from her parents house, then she should go for it. The only one who can know what she needs in a relationship is her. Now, it wouldn't work for me. I need someone who fits into my whole life, not someone I have to sneak around to see. But that's me. YMMV

Lynnxz -> RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? (2/1/2009 12:13:42 PM)
There might eventually be hope for the parents point of view. I've always dated older guys, and C is 30, 9 years older than I am. Surprisingly when we visited my parents it went over very well... Except mom kept hitting on him... and that was awkward.

cjan -> RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? (2/1/2009 12:32:19 PM)
Snort 'nuff said

CelticPrince -> RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? (2/1/2009 12:39:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistresseLotus Let's have you put it in perspective..... How do you view a person of 8? Why? Because you have more life experience. Do you see them as an equal.. or just mature for their age? The older you get the less it matters. Right now 18 is a very tender and vulnerable age which you will not see until you yourself have more living under your belt. We all have gone through it.. you'll survive. What is really going to shock you later on..like when you are 40, is just how immature guys of 30 are..they just want to get laid. LOL! Lotus, Extremely well put and right on the money! CP

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