RE: When to say goodbye.

RE: When to say goodbye. (Full Version)

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amica -> RE: When to say goodbye. (8/25/2004 3:04:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sfgrrl Unfortunately, there are people who would rather throw a relationship away because it's easier than talking and trying to work through problems. No, I'm not bitter. Oh wait. Yes I am. Shit. ~stef I wouldn't know; I've been married for 13 years.

stef -> RE: When to say goodbye. (8/25/2004 6:42:31 AM)
I hope you never have to know. ~stef

stormiKnightBEAR -> RE: When to say goodbye. (8/25/2004 8:41:57 AM)
darchat, Here are a few things to ask yourself. (Please bear with stormi, some are going to come across as comedy, but think about it for a moment. They are some of the very reasons this girl walked away from over 24 yrs of marriage.) Does he meet your needs? Does he make time for you or does he tolerate you? When you are with him, do you find yourself asking "Does he have to breathe that loud with me in the room?" Do you find the way he chews his food irratating? Do you find yourself looking at him and saying what the hell is going on? Why am i here? Do you find yourself thinking "how lonely will it be by myself"? Ask yourself, is life passing you by? There are many more questions that could be listed here. But this girl was able to answer yes to all of those and more. When stormi found herself watching her mother take chemo for breast cancer, and making jokes about marriage and realized she was talking about her own, when she looked at the 4 women, one man and the nurses laughing ...... saying "omg, that's how it feels sometimes", and realized that yes in fact her marriage was done in stormi's own mind, she realized she had a choice. stormi tried hard for 3 more years... and 5 weeks after the 24th anniversary packed up and walked away from over half of her life. It's hard, there is no way around it. There were days of crying and wondering if being alone was worth it. There were days of joy of not having to pick up after everyone else. And for stormi............finally there was inner peace. Was the price worth it? Yep.... 24 yrs. produced two great adults. stormi's kids are grown, independant, loving, drug and booze free, and most of all work their buns off to be the best they can be. This mother could not be more proud of them or love them more. They were well worth those 24 yrs. stormi is 45 now... and finds that life is still throwing blessings and good things her way. Wow.... going on about 2 yrs ago... life thru a man named Bear and His wife who was a online friend in stormi's life. Now stormi is His and has been for a while, stormi and Master Bear have been 24/7 for over a year now. There are no regrets and no looking back from this girl. Luck has smiled down on stormi. *Sending prayers of thanks for Master and Sylverdawn" Be well and good luck to you, stormi wishes you the very best on your path. stormi property of Master Bear

January -> RE: When to say goodbye. (8/25/2004 9:52:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: darchart When do you know its time to say goodbye? I've been married for 22 years. About every 7 years, the day-to-day sacrifices I make finally build up to the point that I feel taken for granted. I get angry. I consider divorce. When I'm annoyed with him (and that happens more than every seven years, go figure), the question I ask myself is: Would I be happier with him or without him? It takes 7 years for the answer to finally be, "I think I would be happier without him." When I communicate my deep distress over the marriage, it has already reached a crisis point. The question I now ask myself is, "Is my partner responding?" In other words, does he give a shit about me and the marriage? The answer has always been yes. We then work through the issues. If the answer was ever no, (he doesn't care) it would be time for me to say goodbye. January Edited to try to clarify, and to actually answer the question.

InquisitiveShy1 -> RE: When to say goodbye. (8/28/2004 10:06:51 AM)
hello everyone...im a bit behind in responding to this post...maybe because ive been in denial or maybe out of hurt and anger but at any rate...i have to say this thread really struck a cord within me...the response that came from lonelylittlegirl...wow...you go girl! There was sooo much of your response that we have in common...while it hurts to let go..im to the point where i can see too that i have come a long way..learned more about myself in the past 5 months and even found the courage to attend several local events...which i wouldnt have attempted on my own. i am disappointed but also accept the fact that moving on is the best thing i can do in order to grow and explore the individual that i am. i am not a faucet and will not be treated in such a manner as He chose to do..

stormiKnightBEAR -> RE: When to say goodbye. (8/28/2004 10:18:41 AM)
YOU go !! You're not alone.. remember that...and all your sub / slave sisters and brothers will be there to lean on [:)] stormi, property of Master Bear

lonelylittlegirl -> RE: When to say goodbye. (9/1/2004 10:53:42 AM)
i've been on vacation and have been away from the boards for the past two weeks.... wanted to say thanks to InquisitiveShy and theroebabe for their replies to my post.... it's always nice to know that when you send your thoughts and feelings out into the void that there are others out there that know what it's like to experience the same kind of emotions and that you're not quite as alone as it sometimes seems.... although i had many conflicting thoughts about what happened, i know that i made the right decision for me and am now moving on in the right direction.... i hope lol!! i feel like this ongoing search to learn more about the lifestyle and myself is difficult at times, but even more difficult is finding that right person to explore it with..... and making new friends, sharing experiences and seeing new perspectives makes it just a little bit easier.... good luck to you shy and roe, and all the other subs out there....

RhapsodyInBlue -> RE: When to say goodbye. (9/12/2004 1:58:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dark~angel When your growth stops and nothing moves forward and these fact hurt you or you have that feeling inside, no matter how much love and respect exists... then it is time. To not say goodbye would be disrespectful to yourself and the one you have surrendered to. It takes strength to stay... it takes even more strength and humilty to walk away. Sigh

knees2you -> RE: When to say goodbye. (9/13/2004 9:12:36 PM)
Darchart,[:)] For me it was hard, and took awhile to get over~ But in the long run it was ok, and I was better off~[:D] Sincerely, eyesofAslave[;)] [image]local://upfiles/19655/22608B90701145BC948DA3DB73A6A56D.gif[/image]

andreaK -> RE: When to say goodbye. (10/16/2004 6:23:05 PM)
Hi darchart: I have been there a while ago, it was the hardest thing i had to do, i had to say goodbye, not because it didnt work, but i know He wasnt happy well pretended He was. So like lots told me, if You love him set Him free, which i meant that i should let Him move on and find a sub that will make Him happy. It does still hurt inside, but i do smile when i do think of the great moments W/we had together. W/we still talk to keep in touch, but i know i made the right choice, some might say it was selfish of me to just let it go, but i wanted the best for Him. Ever since that time, i have a Dom for the past 3 yrs and i am happy with Him. andreaK

clearlightblack -> RE: When to say goodbye. (7/17/2008 5:03:22 PM)
i was searching in the forums for help like this....i was very happy to find this......glad to know that i'm not the only one and that there are helpful and caring people..... not like some i've seen post that basically say "suck it up" This made me feel very good and....not so sad..... thanks to everyone :) even if this wasn't my thread

natasha66 -> RE: When to say goodbye. (7/17/2008 6:13:17 PM)
When hearing from someone you once cared about irritates the hell out of you, it's obviously OVER.

sujuguete -> RE: When to say goodbye. (7/17/2008 6:38:31 PM)
When the sound of his key in the door makes your heart sink. When his touch makes you cringe. When the thought of having sex with him turns your stomach. (That is where I was when I decided to leave my husband of 14 years.)

mistoferin -> RE: When to say goodbye. (7/17/2008 7:39:38 PM)
Wow! A 4 year old thread. You must have REALLY been searching.[:D]

clearlightblack -> RE: When to say goodbye. (7/17/2008 8:13:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin Wow! A 4 year old thread. You must have REALLY been searching.[:D] When I was seaching I didn't even realize how far back I had gone.......maybe that is why everyone sounded so nice :) they weren't so jaded then......but it was good to find something that really hit the spot..... Don't want to start a new thread and get bitch slapped with a whole list of threads I should have checked out before i even thought about posting anything........from some people who will remain nameless............... but maybe it will help other people [:)]

joyinslavery -> RE: When to say goodbye. (7/17/2008 8:38:33 PM)
Anytime's a good time for a DQ Buster at Dairy Queen. It's a Texas thing. Have fun.

Leatherist -> RE: When to say goodbye. (7/18/2008 12:33:02 AM)
It is considered better manners to begin a new thread than to pull up an ancient one here.

stella41b -> RE: When to say goodbye. (7/18/2008 1:24:07 AM)
Doesn't matter. Some of us aren't so jaded. Was there something specific?

Rayne58 -> RE: When to say goodbye. (7/18/2008 4:16:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sujuguete When the sound of his key in the door makes your heart sink. When his touch makes you cringe. When the thought of having sex with him turns your stomach. (That is where I was when I decided to leave my husband of 14 years.) That's where I was too, but it was 23 years when I left (but I had been feeling that way for years before that). Six years later I have re-married and that former life just doesn't seem real....how dead inside I must have been [:o]

lalbobbilynn -> RE: When to say goodbye. (7/18/2008 6:13:14 AM)
It is best to exit stage left when You have given all You possibly can, and then realize You actually gave more then You should have. b.~

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