RE: Picking up the slack

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kiwisub12 -> RE: Picking up the slack (2/3/2009 2:40:31 PM)
Sounds to me that the two of you worked out your problem. Congratulations. now you can get on with enjoying the time you spend together. I just want to encourage you (every one that reads this as well as the OP) to enjoy your time together, and not get bogged down with (apparently) trivial problems. My Sir and i are getting ready to go into the battle for his life - he has metastatic bladder cancer, and the optimistic prognosis is four years. The glum one is six months. One thing i am thanking goddess for is that i have left work early as much as i could to spend time with him before this diagnosis. I think my moral is, is to enjoy your relationships as if they might disappear overnight. The one thing i would regret in my Sir and my relationship is if i hadn't spent as much time as i could with him.

Andalusite -> RE: Picking up the slack (2/3/2009 2:50:40 PM)
littlewonder, I still don't see it as serving the roomie, by proxy or not. He or she is benefiting from her doing the housework, but she is not doing it to serve him, or please him. ssklavinxandria, I sometimes have gotten into "cleaning frenzy mode" too. It can actually feel a bit cathartic at times! If someone else is around, particularly someone I care about, though, I tend to be more sensitive to avoid disrupting them, or using my time with them in a way they don't wish.

agirl -> RE: Picking up the slack (2/4/2009 6:32:11 AM)
We have a tendency to cross T's and dot I's, too. Despite the many assertions that your guy is working and you're just meant to understand.........that wouldn't work here. It's not the same for everyone and people have things that they are flexible about but I'm used to relying completely on the fact that M will do exactly what he says he will do ...........and if he can't for any reason, no matter HOW small and insignificant it seems, he will let me know that there's a glitch. If he's made assertions and rules, he sticks to them or makes sure I know there's been a hitch and there's a change of plan, even if it's only for now. He sees it as important and his exactitude in the small things certainly built my trust in his word. agirl

NCNutCase -> RE: Picking up the slack (2/4/2009 9:26:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sklavinxandria Not seeing him on weekends. Unless at work we are together (the sites you can visit quick with your own lappy at work). We saw eachother last night and i told him about asking that they just take out the trash. i did get the kitchen cleaned, didn't take hours. Other things all all caught up. He said that i wasn't required to get it done that day, my reply, yes i was, it is in the rules that if it isn't done it is my butt in the sling and that there isn't a clause for when this happens. He looked over things, found that there wasn't a clause, and we worked in something so that if this happens again at least, given the situation, they will pitch in. Now, not meaning if i have a night out they will do stuff, but if the long work weekends or family interfers things will be taken care of. The list of housework is what he worked up, not me, it is his standards for that house that i am living up to. Open honest communication without the burden of assumption can solve most problems between rational people :-) I'm glad the two of you were able to talk things through to a mutually reasonable agreement. Best of luck at peacefully carrying that agreement out...

MasterTslave -> RE: Picking up the slack (2/5/2009 7:33:24 AM)
Master T and I work as a team for daily lives. I try to take care of things...but he will do things if he sees that they need to be done...if the trash needs to go out and he is there, he takes it out...I make breakfast and lunch, he makes dinner...if he sees something that has gone out of place, he picks it up.

Rayne58 -> RE: Picking up the slack (2/6/2009 4:09:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kiwisub12 Sounds to me that the two of you worked out your problem. Congratulations. now you can get on with enjoying the time you spend together. I just want to encourage you (every one that reads this as well as the OP) to enjoy your time together, and not get bogged down with (apparently) trivial problems. My Sir and i are getting ready to go into the battle for his life - he has metastatic bladder cancer, and the optimistic prognosis is four years. The glum one is six months. One thing i am thanking goddess for is that i have left work early as much as i could to spend time with him before this diagnosis. I think my moral is, is to enjoy your relationships as if they might disappear overnight. The one thing i would regret in my Sir and my relationship is if i hadn't spent as much time as i could with him. Sir has end stage renal failure and isn't eligible for a transplant, so we try to make the most of every day....we have been together for 5 years and married for 2 of those. So what if the vacuuming doesn't get done for a few days - there's always tomorrow. He will get His own dinner when I go to evening fitness classes at the gym a couple of nights a week - He says it is my "time out" and I deserve it. I don't work outside the home as we do home haemodialysis 3 days a week, plus His health varies so much from day to day. I take care of most things around here but sometimes the place gets a bit untidy....but dishes and laundry are always done, rubbish is taken down to the bins 3 or 4 times a week, and neither of us has had food poisoning in a while (and that was from a cafe not from here [;)]). Kiwisub I will be thinking of you and your Sir in the upcoming battle [sm=flowers.gif]

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