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seaturtle50 -> Please Tell Me (1/12/2006 9:09:54 PM)

The differences between being a submissive vs. a slave?

i do think that i have a basic understanding of the differences, but ask for clarification and you're wise and abundent counsel on this.

Thank you kind Dommes

michael




LadyMorgynn -> RE: Please Tell Me (1/12/2006 9:29:42 PM)

Submissives = "I want I want I want... Mistress, do this... Mistress, give me... Mistress, make me..."

Slaves = "What can I do for you, Mistress?"

Then again, I may just be getting cynical here on collarme <sigh>




veronicaofML -> RE: Please Tell Me (1/12/2006 9:44:09 PM)

oh my my my

i know a few...calling themselves...slaves...that are a-bit...short...of the end of the stick...but then...no one is perfect..
MOST of them...on the s side of the D./s...have SOMETHING they want...

there are very very few of us that have NOTHING we want...except that chance to do whatever we are allowed TO do for Her.

take care




LadyMorgynn -> RE: Please Tell Me (1/12/2006 9:53:21 PM)

Agreeed.... and nothing wrong with that. It's just that I have run into so many subs for whom it is ALL about what THEY want.

To these, it seems as if the Domme is secondary... just a means to provide the sub with what he wants.

So okay, I'm going to stop whining and go to bed... maybe I'm just having a bad evening and things won't look so bad in the morning <grin>

quote:

ORIGINAL: veronicaofML
there are very very few of us that have NOTHING we want...except that chance to do whatever we are allowed TO do for Her.

take care






seaturtle50 -> RE: Please Tell Me (1/12/2006 9:55:28 PM)

Are slaves permitted to have "hard limits"

(please excuse my ignorance if the answer to this is obvious to you) [:)]

m




RumpusParable -> RE: Please Tell Me (1/12/2006 10:34:42 PM)

hiya seaturtle :)

some slaves are, some are not. it's relationship-based. if you thumb around this site you'll see a bit of both.

personally, i'd respect and even prefer a slave with hard limits so long as those hard limits matched or were happily workable for me. as with anything, it's about matching up right.

the sub/slave difference, in my own wording is a level of "self" involved in the submission... both subs and slaves submit, sometimes the levels are very similar and sometimes very different, but slaves tend to give up more of their personal identity. when the actions and lifestyle of a sub and slave may be the same, the sense of self is different.




seaturtle50 -> RE: Please Tell Me (1/12/2006 10:37:52 PM)

quote:

the sub/slave difference, in my own wording is a level of "self" involved in the submission... both subs and slaves submit, sometimes the levels are very similar and sometimes very different, but slaves tend to give up more of their personal identity. when the actions and lifestyle of a sub and slave may be the same, the sense of self is different


Yikes!!!!

(yes of course, .... ummmm .... why do i feel totally fucked? [:)])

michael




BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Please Tell Me (1/12/2006 10:54:43 PM)

quote:

Are slaves permitted to have "hard limits"

(please excuse my ignorance if the answer to this is obvious to you)
In my understanding, yes they are as long as they voice those before entering into a M/s dynamic/agreement, so that those can be known to both parties, and not to be crossed; if in my opinion/understanding those things (hard limits) are violated, than the agreement is null and void (legally the whole relationship/agreement is null/void). M




BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Please Tell Me (1/12/2006 10:56:46 PM)

quote:

(yes of course, .... ummmm .... why do i feel totally fucked? )

michael
Yes, but did you enjoy it or are you enjoying it? [sm=lol.gif][sm=lol.gif]




seaturtle50 -> RE: Please Tell Me (1/12/2006 11:53:26 PM)

Yes, thank you for asking! I have not felt this VIBRANT in such a very long time.

I have longed for Her response, and at the same time dredded it, for i seemed to know that It could possible change my life - entirely!

Now, i feel vibrant terror, yet seem unable to not walk directly into Her flame.

michael




seaturtle50 -> RE: Please Tell Me (1/12/2006 11:57:12 PM)

quote:

the sub/slave difference, in my own wording is a level of "self" involved in the submission... both subs and slaves submit, sometimes the levels are very similar and sometimes very different, but slaves tend to give up more of their personal identity. when the actions and lifestyle of a sub and slave may be the same, the sense of self is different.


Thank You RumpusParable, these words of yours are some of the most elequent that i have EVER read. [;)]

michael




MistressOfGa -> RE: Please Tell Me (1/13/2006 1:10:00 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn

Submissives = "I want I want I want... Mistress, do this... Mistress, give me... Mistress, make me..."

Slaves = "What can I do for you, Mistress?"

Then again, I may just be getting cynical here on collarme <sigh>


Oh girl I hear you on this one! So many demands, so little time...




MHOO314 -> RE: Please Tell Me (1/13/2006 7:31:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable

the sub/slave difference, in my own wording is a level of "self" involved in the submission... both subs and slaves submit, sometimes the levels are very similar and sometimes very different, but slaves tend to give up more of their personal identity. when the actions and lifestyle of a sub and slave may be the same, the sense of self is different.



How beautifully stated---I would also add that neither a submissive nor a slave exist in that realm until there is a Dominant and the dynamic exists between the T/two. That is one of the things we arrogantly think -- all submissives fall on the ground for all Dominants--and vice versa, it doesn't work that way--your submission may mean nothing to Me-- My Dominance may mean nothing to you--I also think we expect-- if someone labels themself a certain way, they will have the characteristics WE want and expect--again it just doesn't work that way--its the dynamic--the depth of what is there. I find it frustrating when profiles ask for a specific "label" or profiles label themselves as such and such when this is all so very subjective--and that's the key it is subjective

quote:

LadyMorgynn--Submissives = "I want I want I want... Mistress, do this... Mistress, give me... Mistress, make me..."

Slaves = "What can I do for you, Mistress?"

Then again, I may just be getting cynical here on collarme <sigh>


I agree with LadyMorgynn above, not about the labels, but about the approach---the depth of it, some Dom/mes respond to I want I want--others will not--it coincides with what Rumpus has said---if you are submissive/slavish--it will be about serving the Dominant to whatever level is negotiated--now given that-- some of My peers here will flame and say---that is NOT what you said before--because negotiation may mean to extremes--IMHO, that should include the respect for the human being--(nuff said there)--

One of My students wrestles with being a "submissive"--because of the label--he serves, serves to the max but is so damn hung on the label it limits his ability to give more or all--My lesson to him is call it something else--or don't call it anything--look at the dynamic you want to achieve within your relationship--establish and negotiate that--and nothing the fact that he serves Her, means nothing more or less to Me than they are happy and he is My friend not MY submissive nor must he be submissive to Me, but does it mean he is not submissive? It's between them.


So I see the net as the depth of the submission--and it is subjective--as is Dominance--we start out at least with an idea if what we would like, be it real or imagined and that is where the search and negotiation begins, but it needs to look beyond labels--to the depth of the dynamic.

Oh and to respond ahead of questions--what do I call My boy? What is he?

I call him Mine.




LadyMorgynn -> RE: Please Tell Me (1/13/2006 7:59:07 AM)

OOOOOOOOhhhhhhhhhh, VERY nice response indeed! :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314
Oh and to respond ahead of questions--what do I call My boy? What is he?

I call him Mine.





LadyMorgynn -> RE: Please Tell Me (1/13/2006 8:02:37 AM)

My slave would not only be *permitted* hard limits, he'd be expected to *have* them. Nothing sends up red flags to me so quick as a claim to having "no limits." EVERYONE has limits.

Well, okay, I grant that there are a few people into the more extreme BDSM with no limits.... but there are not that many of those (certainly not nearly as many as claim to be here on this site), and such a person would not be contacting ME in the first place!

quote:

ORIGINAL: seaturtle50

Are slaves permitted to have "hard limits"

(please excuse my ignorance if the answer to this is obvious to you) [:)]

m





MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: Please Tell Me (1/13/2006 10:13:10 AM)

quote:

Well, okay, I grant that there are a few people into the more extreme BDSM with no limits....



I think if you started mentioning things like "death" and "Barney marathon", they'd find they had SOME limits ;-)




JohnWarren -> RE: Please Tell Me (1/13/2006 10:43:41 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood

quote:

Well, okay, I grant that there are a few people into the more extreme BDSM with no limits....



I think if you started mentioning things like "death" and "Barney marathon", they'd find they had SOME limits ;-)



When customers said "anything" at Inner Explorations, I just said "OK but the $200 on the desk and leave." That got the conversation going.




LadyMorgynn -> RE: Please Tell Me (1/13/2006 11:24:45 AM)

Barney marathon!!! ewwww ewwwwwww! I think that might be a harder limit than death! Ack!

LOFLMAO

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood

quote:

Well, okay, I grant that there are a few people into the more extreme BDSM with no limits....



I think if you started mentioning things like "death" and "Barney marathon", they'd find they had SOME limits ;-)






LadyMorgynn -> RE: Please Tell Me (1/13/2006 11:27:01 AM)

Very neat :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren


quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood

I think if you started mentioning things like "death" and "Barney marathon", they'd find they had SOME limits ;-)



When customers said "anything" at Inner Explorations, I just said "OK but the $200 on the desk and leave." That got the conversation going.






thetammyjo -> RE: Please Tell Me (1/13/2006 11:41:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: seaturtle50

The differences between being a submissive vs. a slave?

i do think that i have a basic understanding of the differences, but ask for clarification and you're wise and abundent counsel on this.

Thank you kind Dommes

michael


Each person is going to be giving your their own definitions.

Some see it as "more" and "less" -- others as a "time" issue -- others as a self-identification -- others as a relationship model, etc.

The most important thing is for you to figure out what you think the differences are and when you have a partner to make sure your definitions match or you are in for several arguments.

Personally I see "submissive" as a personality and a time issue -- for periods of time a person submits to the leadership or attentions of another person.

I see "slave" as a career focused on serving another person and making that person's comfort and desires above your own at all times -- personality types vary greatly from slave to slave and need to need.

I frankly don't find much value in my life for a submissive slave the majority of the time -- hell, I'd just do that work myself in the time it took to give the order or watch them do it. But this is me, someone else does want those two things together and honestly it can be fun to have a submissive slave for short periods of time (though usually for me its purely silly stuff).




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