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RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 1/15/2006 10:47:08 AM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		Fat Cow, Shamu, Hungry Hippo....LMAO I would call my Fat Ass Boss that.....(behind his back of course), but would never humiliate a slave about their physical characteristics...that's just wrong!

Cum slut, whore, jism juice bitch, .....these are my terms of endearment!

Peace, Kevin

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Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

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RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 1/15/2006 5:12:59 PM   
windy135


Posts: 437
Joined: 10/17/2005
Status: offline 		I have never been called any of these names but I know I wouldn't like it during a scene. I know how to tease myself but I also respect myself. Plus slutty names are much more of a naughty turn on.. :)

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 1/16/2006 6:04:06 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: windy135

I have never been called any of these names but I know I wouldn't like it during a scene. I know how to tease myself but I also respect myself. Plus slutty names are much more of a naughty turn on.. :)

Does this mean you think I lack respect in myself because I do get turned on by such types of humiliation?

_____________________________

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"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to windy135)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 1/16/2006 6:25:42 AM   
barbara321


Posts: 1
Joined: 1/9/2006
Status: offline 		During a session I love it when call me names like fat cow an slutpig, in Duth called: teef. Without being in a session He would harm me with that.

(in reply to ragdoll)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 1/16/2006 11:58:41 AM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ragdoll

...well.. i can understand some humiliation.. i just don't understand what i guess i'd call "humiliation about real things".. or "true humiliation".. like... someone calling me a slut or something... it wouldn't "hurt my feelings" in a -true- way -every- because there isn't any part of me that worries that i really am a slut. So i can kind of safely "play along" with that...

but in areas where real and true "insecurity" exists.. i can't even begin to fathom how someone can find something pleasureable that they might have an "insecurity" about out in day to day life.... and i guess that's the kinda humiliation i can't quite grasp...

Althouuuuuuuuugh... the response of LuckyAlbatross helps...


How about an analogy. A certain person might not want to be hurt physically but she might still enjoy going over someone's knee to experience un-painful slaps here or there. Whether or not you want to say this is "real spanking" is up to you but the kick she gets out of it sure has something to do with spanking as we generally understand the word.

Another person wants or anyway is willing to have her bottom blistered.

The first person might say: "But how could anyone want that or enjoy that? It would hurt."

But of course the hurting is the very point, or an important part of it for the second person.

It works the same with emotional sadomasochism, for some people anyway.

Some people enjoy a very playful implementation of what you might or might not call emotional sadism but which is clearly associated strongly with it. One person may get a wonderful little thrill when her lover calls her "naughty." Maybe that word is a big deal for her or was so in her upbringing during which it was made clear that she should never, ever be naughty, and she internalized this belief. Maybe she can get the thrill with no (emotional) pain at all. All good.

Someone else--analogously to the person who submits to having her bottom blistered--is submitting to pain, deep pain even. P a i n and no mistake about it. The point, like the extreme spanking, the point is to experience pain. It should hurt. Maybe hurt a whole damn lot. This may be straightforwardly masochistic; that is to say she may just personally get off on it.

The case might be more complex if gthe victim is sufferring the pain as a gift to a sadistic partner, so to speak, or to get away from the radioactive word "gift" let me say to endure this pain may be a special act of submission to a sadistic partner. She wants to please him. This will. She does it. Her (internal emotional or psychological) reward comes in terms of the act of submitting to the pain more than from the pain itself.

So to ask the question: "But how could anyone want that or enjoy that? It would hurt, emotionally." is to miss the point entirely. Like asking "Why would anyone build a skyscraper? They're so tall!"

I'm setting aside the important issue of possible damage which can be discussed in a general way but must ultimately be addressed between individuals.

Personally, I'm surprised again and again when people who don't bat an eye at the notion of a bottom enduring physical pain seem to sieze up in confusion at the idea that there may be people who relate similarly to psychological pain or emotional pain. Of course you didn't sieze up. You gave it some thought and inquired politely. Good for you.

quote:

...i guess... i my head i didn't actually think of that either. i mean.. i just kind of assumed the humiliated person was sorta... left in "limbo" in that humiliated headspace and stuff....


What a supremely odd assumption. But you just aren't familiar and so the assumption was what it was and doesn't need to be justified or apologized for. The general term is aftercare whether the trauma inflicted is physical or mental. Sometimes it is give quite overtly, sometimes subtly and sometimes it is witheld. Again very much a matter for the couple to work out but I suspect that deep emotional play without some subsquent effort at shared processing would be unusual and yes particularly dangerous--and not fitted to most people.

(in reply to ragdoll)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 1/16/2006 1:35:22 PM   
ragdoll


Posts: 231
Joined: 5/20/2005
From: New England
Status: offline 		....Noah i appreciate your analogy, especially using different levels of spanking.. 'cause at least that's something i have slight experience with.... and it helped...

actually... after reading it i really don't have any response 'cept to say thanks.
Between you and LuckyAlbatross i feel like i have a better understanding... i mean... it still doesn't change the fact that i wouldn't like the most extreme verbal humiliation (or at least right now in my life i wouldn't)... ~ but... at least now it doesn't seem so weird to me... or "hard to accept that anyone could like it"........

~ i'm quite thoughtful now!

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 1/16/2006 3:19:03 PM   
kinkiminx


Posts: 73
Joined: 10/5/2005
From: Brighton, Sussex, UK
Status: offline 		Hi Ragdoll,
Though I'm not fat, any Dom who called me a fat cow in bed would be straight out the door -I try really hard to keep in shape and would find that really demoralising!

I think I could only handle being called "fat" by a 9% fat personal trainer, (somone in better shape than me) and then I don't think I'd actually want to be called fat, "come on bitch one more rep or you get ten lashes!" would be much more fun... unfortunately its not included in the service at the gym I go to...

I don't like any sort of humiliation which involves real degredation. I like the "dirty little slut" type humiliation, but that's not degrading, there's nothing wrong with being horny :D its just the control issue, the embarassment is that the Dom knows he can use that to control me, and letting others know that when I'm used to being in control of myself and everyone knows it!

As for the gym idea above, its not really degradation in quite the same meaning, just harsh treatment which doesn't necessarily denote low opinion, so that isn't really the same. But it would make workouts so much more fun!

(in reply to ragdoll)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 1/16/2006 6:53:21 PM   
Sensualips


Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		That is a good analogy, Noah.

I have a really hard time with humiliation in general, in terms of explaining what appeals and what does not. For me it is a very complex. I really have not encountered anyone skilled at it. Attempts have generally left me annoyed or amused, but never emotionally "hurt."

I am overweight and that fact is no more off limits than anything else, I suppose. Humiliation is more effective when you tap into reality or genuaine fears or insecurities. Calling me stupid would really never have any impact, because I KNOW I am not stupid. It is like calling me purple.

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 1/18/2006 10:01:37 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sensualips


Girl you are so purple

you put the purr in pull.

(in reply to Sensualips)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 1/20/2006 6:40:15 PM   
camigirl


Posts: 42
Joined: 9/18/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I'm setting aside the important issue of possible damage which can be discussed in a general way but must ultimately be addressed between individuals.


Just thought id share this from a book im reading...

"Thoughts actually affect us at a molecular level, as scientific reasearcher Dr. Masaru Emoto, author of "The Hidden Messages in Water" has discovered. His astonishing photographs of ice crystals show that wather that has been exposed to positive words form exquisite, complex snowflake patterns that are brightly illumined, whereas water exposed to negative words forms distinctly asymmetrical structures and crystals that are dimly visible under a microsocope. Considereing that our bodies are actually composed of 80%water, just imagine how your thoughts are affecting your body"

Words can be extremely damaging and this type of play should be taken slowly and very carefully,imo.

camigirl

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RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 1/20/2006 7:20:19 PM   
KittenWithaTwist


Posts: 490
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		I enjoy many types of humiliation and objectification. However, humiliation focusing on my weight is not one of the ones I enjoy. Because my weight makes me uncomfortable, it is not something I want to focus more negative attention on, especially from someone I love.

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(in reply to ragdoll)
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RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 2/24/2006 5:23:00 AM   
ann17120


Posts: 1
Joined: 12/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

is submitting to pain, deep pain even. P a i n and no mistake about it. The point, like the extreme spanking, the point is to experience pain.


For me Noah, the point is not just to experience the pain, but to experience the moment before the pain occurs, the moment that can stretch inside me way past its external reality. If the pain comes too fast without my knowing I am waiting, if I do not find that deep stillness where all my focus and breath is living in the recognition of knowledge of what is about to happen, then the pain will have little meaning for me. I can endure extreme pain but without that stillness, I am distant, detached, its a purely physical process - not to say that can't be fun, but for me its not what works. The power of what happens to me is in that the journey isn't linear, the connection with the space of the certainty of what is about to happen to the same stillness I find after the extreme pain is endured. When I give thanks, its not just for the pain given to me, its for the waiting, the stillness and the glory of the return to it.

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 2/24/2006 6:23:46 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I think anyone who calls someone else a name that they know truly hurts them is just being an ass. When playing I do name calling but only names I KNOW that he won't find offensive and yes he is a bit chubby and I love it
If my BF called me fat cow and he knew it would hurt my feelings, I wouldnt hestiate to call him pencil dick, the name calling knife cuts both ways

Lashra

(in reply to ehlovindom)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 2/24/2006 6:51:41 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

I think anyone who calls someone else a name that they know truly hurts them is just being an ass. When playing I do name calling but only names I KNOW that he won't find offensive and yes he is a bit chubby and I love it

That's an important part of the art of humiliation. It's like cutting. Shallow, carefully calculated strokes, not wild slashes


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(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 2/24/2006 7:13:49 AM   
Slipstreme


Posts: 817
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline 		I am not comfortable with any form of verbal humilation. So I try to avoid using it, and won't appreciate it if I recieve any from my Top. It is currently one of my Hard Limits. I grew up at the brunt of humilation all my life. So I grew to hate it more than physical abuse. Which I have on occassion, gotten my ass kicked.

I try not to use it when I Top because I know how much it felt horrible when I was growing up. However, I have on occassion, wanted to. There is an allure in it, when you are in the heat of Domspace. I would have to discuss this before scene though, and if they are into it, fight my own inhibitions to verbally humiliate people.

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Living the Dichotomy

Painslut? How about "Endorphin Junkie"?

For information about "the furry thing" please check out my profile journal entry for: 1/17/2006

Alpha of a leather family of four. Master to the slave z.

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 2/24/2006 7:54:53 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Interesting thread. i relate fully to what LA is saying. i undergo extreme verbal humiliation, sometimes combined with physical. Often times horribly painful yet i am so energized by it. It opens me up - splays my spirit open. Everything is exposed and offered to him. Nothing is held back.

Do i think the words my Master uses on me is how he really feels about me? Do i think he would own someone who disgusted him like that? Not a chance. i know what he thinks of me, so when i am undergoing such degredation well....it just makes me feel his intense power over me and sets me on fire...

(in reply to Slipstreme)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 2/24/2006 10:01:51 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		Being humiliated scares the hell out of me. I am overweight and extremely self-conscious of it. I will have to submit my body to my Dom when we are together and he fully understands what a huge deal this is for me. I couldn't imagine if he started calling me names or doing anything that wasn't totally supportive of me taking what to me is a giant step in my total submission to him.

Having said that I can understand those like LA that do like it and say good for you! I wish I could be comfortable with that sort of play, but I know for me it would make me feel horrible and worthless. I don't think I could function if he did that to me and would withdrawal into myself again where I might never come out and trust.


_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 2/24/2006 10:15:01 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Extreme humiliation would have destroyed if me he had started out doing it right off the bat. What i now find quite mild used to make me cringe terribly. Like all forms of play/use/etc...particularly if an unexplored area, starting slow and building up seems safest.

(in reply to Littlepita)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 2/26/2006 6:30:29 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ragdoll
If you are fat (if you do not struggle with weight issues responding doesn't exactly make sense) do you like being humiliated about that?


No, absolutely not, will not happen.

No gray area here for me. Humiliation, for me, is about humbling not degrading. It may seem a subtle difference, but to me anything that lowers my self-esteem is an absolute hard limit.

Cin

_____________________________

Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to ragdoll)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Fat Cow? - Verbal Humiliation (rehashed) - 2/26/2006 6:58:26 PM   
justatoy2


Posts: 163
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

I think anyone who calls someone else a name that they know truly hurts them is just being an ass. When playing I do name calling but only names I KNOW that he won't find offensive and yes he is a bit chubby and I love it

That's an important part of the art of humiliation. It's like cutting. Shallow, carefully calculated strokes, not wild slashes


i

I love John Warren. Am going to start a John Warren fan club..yeaaahhh for John!

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 40
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