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Shyness and Submission? - 2/1/2009 11:48:31 AM   
Anastasia25


Posts: 131
Joined: 1/28/2009
Status: offline 		Do you believe there is a relationship between shyness/introversion and submissiveness?

Are you the type of person who is or has been shy and submissive, in the presence of authority figures or people of power?

How did your submissive traits play out, day-to-day, before you found a Master or Mistress?
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RE: Shyness and Submission? - 2/1/2009 11:53:55 AM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline 		Hello there Anasthasia,
Short reply because I'm off to do something.

My answer to whether there is a correlation between shyness and submission, is no.   I'm no longer as horribly shy as I used to be, but there has never been a submissive bone in my body.   People told me of being a submissive to better learn how to be a dominant, and though I pondered it plenty, I could never bring myself there.     M

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to Anastasia25)
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RE: Shyness and Submission? - 2/1/2009 12:02:24 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		I have always stood up to authority; I have always spoken up for myself and/or others when I believed it to be necessary.  I love being the center of attention and enjoy acting and public speaking.
My submissive nature is only evoked in my intimate relationships.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to Anastasia25)
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RE: Shyness and Submission? - 2/1/2009 12:04:22 PM   
feydeplume


Posts: 935
Joined: 12/24/2008
Status: offline 		No i don't think so. There might be a link between self-esteem or social skills and shyness but I don't think (personal opinion here, haven't read any serious studies on it) there is ANY connection.

I am respectful and helpful around authority figures, not shy or submissive *whatever that might mean*

How did I get my fix before? Volunteer work, doing my job as best i could, being a good friend and lover, showing up for class and doing my homework, ummmm.... and following my star (cue music)

_____________________________

Wait! Are those my pants?
If it has testicle or tires, it's gonna give you the fidgets.
Pretend I said something witty and laugh.

(in reply to FullfigRIMAAM1)
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RE: Shyness and Submission? - 2/1/2009 12:05:11 PM   
ExKat


Posts: 300
Joined: 8/25/2008
Status: offline 		 In most of my life, I am not at all shy. I talk in front of public groups with nary a sweaty palm, I speak up in class when there's a high likelihood that I'm wrong (and I usually am). When it comes to relationships, I can be woefully shy; even in established relationships, I am shy and nervous about making the first move or initiating anything. I chalk this up to submission. I want my partner to be dominant and start things off, I'll follow the lead.

_____________________________

~*~ The amalgam of Exquemelin and Katie978~*~
In the forums, it'll usually be Katie you're speaking to.
testing
"That's the plan/ Rule the world/ You and me/ Anyday ::wink::"

(in reply to FullfigRIMAAM1)
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RE: Shyness and Submission? - 2/1/2009 12:06:31 PM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

I have always stood up to authority; I have always spoken up for myself and/or others when I believed it to be necessary.  I love being the center of attention and enjoy acting and public speaking.
My submissive nature is only evoked in my intimate relationships.


totally agree on that view...

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to catize)
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RE: Shyness and Submission? - 2/1/2009 12:11:53 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		I'm still occasionally shy, though not nearly to the degree I used to be. I tend to be very outgoing and a social butterfly as long as there is at least one person who I know around, but it's a little tougher if I'm completely on my own. I don't think it has any correlation to my D/s proclivities. I was a Domme for almost 5 years in my first BDSM-oriented relationship, and a submissive for almost 3 in my most recent one. My demeanor wasn't significantly different during either relationship, or the kinky-but-not-D/s ones in between.

(in reply to Anastasia25)
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RE: Shyness and Submission? - 2/1/2009 12:13:25 PM   
StormsSlave


Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline 		It's an interesting thought, but doesn't apply here.  I am occassionally shy, but very rarely.  I usually just walk right up and shake someone's hand, I'm the first to pipe up in a meeting, and I think lots of people are entitled to my opinion.  Everyone is different, even when there are some things similar.

_____________________________

Congratulate me...I'm a missus!!

--nobody's resident anything.

(in reply to Andalusite)
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RE: Shyness and Submission? - 2/1/2009 1:22:33 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		I've no idea.  I know enough dom types who are *shy*, and enough *sub* types who aren't in the least. I wouldn't link shyness with either.

I'm shy around *people* though it most often wouldn't be seen. It's nothing to do with people in authority....or people of power. (Not quite sure what you mean by that, though).

I'm far more comfortable and at home with people that are confident and comfortable in their own skins, regardless of their shyness OR *power* and regardless of mine.

I didn't have any specific submissive traits to play out and being owned hasn't altered that.

agirl











(in reply to Anastasia25)
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RE: Shyness and Submission? - 2/1/2009 1:49:06 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		I am definitely not shy in any way shape or form. I am blunt and upfront and stand up for myself when needed. I am actually a very strong willed, head strong person.  Nothing quiet about me.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to Anastasia25)
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RE: Shyness and Submission? - 2/1/2009 1:55:09 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Anastasia25

Do you believe there is a relationship between shyness/introversion and submissiveness?

No
quote:


Are you the type of person who is or has been shy and submissive, in the presence of authority figures or people of power?

No. I tend to be the person challenging them. I yield only to authority I have examined from all angles and found to be correct. That said, I have a great deal of respect towards authority figures I respect - policemen, servicemen, etc. I also defer gracefully to those who I feel know more than me. But I'm certainly not submissive towards them.

I tend to be more the extrovert and Valyraen more of the introvert.
quote:


How did your submissive traits play out, day-to-day, before you found a Master or Mistress?

They were there, like my bisexuality, and didn't always come up. I didn't feel the need to randomly serve people.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Anastasia25)
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RE: Shyness and Submission? - 2/1/2009 2:00:37 PM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExKat

In most of my life, I am not at all shy. I talk in front of public groups with nary a sweaty palm, I speak up in class when there's a high likelihood that I'm wrong (and I usually am). When it comes to relationships, I can be woefully shy; even in established relationships, I am shy and nervous about making the first move or initiating anything. I chalk this up to submission. I want my partner to be dominant and start things off, I'll follow the lead.


For me, I was about to say "ditto" except that I do not chalk up my relationship nervousness and shyness to submission at all.  When I am shy or nervous it's because at those times I actually care what the other person may think of me.  When I'm speaking to a group of 200 I could give a rat's ass if they like me or not as a person or a friend.

My definition of submission is to yeild to the authority of another, so first I have to recognize that authority... no authority presented, no submission necessary.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to ExKat)
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RE: Shyness and Submission? - 2/1/2009 2:33:00 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		I am naturally quiet and reserved, unless something is being discussed that interests me. I am also horrible at small talk. I do not relate this to being submissive though. Most of the important men in my life have met me when I had something of value to say. That has been what attracted them to me.

(in reply to eyesopened)
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RE: Shyness and Submission? - 2/1/2009 3:16:40 PM   
Lovemetomorrow


Posts: 17
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline 		I personally am a very shy person. It seems that when I am talking to a Dom I am even more shy then when I am talking to someone who has no idea about the lifestyle. For me it's just a part of who I am.

However, when I believe something is wrong I -will- speak out and make sure that I am heard. As for authority... it depends on the situation.

(in reply to Anastasia25)
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RE: Shyness and Submission? - 2/1/2009 4:03:28 PM   
subgirl2009


Posts: 13
Joined: 1/12/2009
Status: offline 		I agree totally with Catzie and the others. I am not submissive in my "vanilla" life. I work and perform in a position of authority, and hold the respect of my peers and higher authorities. I am not shy to speak up, deal with inequities, or take control where needed. But in my intimate life...with One...I am submissive.

I know of many women in similar positions of power in career and life, who seek the same as I. SubGirl

(in reply to Lovemetomorrow)
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RE: Shyness and Submission? - 2/1/2009 4:26:42 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Anastasia25
Do you believe there is a relationship between shyness/introversion and submissiveness?


No.  For one thing shyness and introversion are not the same thing.  I am not shy and yet I am highly introverted.  My Lord is not shy and he is introverted; not as much as I am but still introverted.  Alandra is somewhat shy and even less introverted than he is.  Introversion and extroversion is about where you get your energy and not about whether you are shy or not.

quote:

Are you the type of person who is or has been shy and submissive, in the presence of authority figures or people of power?
 

People of assumed power or authority, no.  People that I perceive as powerful or authoritative, yes I am submissive.  Not shy, but I do tend to submit to their will; now I only do it if he approves of the behavior.  When people try to boss me around and I don't recognize their authority, I tend to be rather hostile; it makes my skin crawl when people who do not have authority over me try to order me around.


Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to Anastasia25)
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RE: Shyness and Submission? - 2/1/2009 4:34:44 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Anastasia25
Do you believe there is a relationship between shyness/introversion and submissiveness?

No
quote:


Are you the type of person who is or has been shy and submissive, in the presence of authority figures or people of power?

I'm quite shy in general.  I'm also very aggressive and stubborn. 
quote:


How did your submissive traits play out, day-to-day, before you found a Master or Mistress?

What makes me "a submissive" is my internal relationship orientation.  It's not a trait, set of traits or anything related to one's personality.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Anastasia25)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Shyness and Submission? - 2/1/2009 6:11:52 PM   
ashyflower


Posts: 23
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		i guess i am one of the odd ones. i am shy and submissive about everything....i have been my whole life.

ashyflower

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Shyness and Submission? - 2/1/2009 6:15:58 PM   
sweetshyslave


Posts: 27
Joined: 7/25/2004
Status: offline 		don't worry, ashyflower....we are all odd on here.....*laughs*....i am shy when first meeting people but i do not think that shyness has anything to do with my submissive nature.....i know some girls who are very good slaves/subs who are very extroverted....i don't think there is any co-relation IMO

(in reply to ashyflower)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Shyness and Submission? - 2/1/2009 6:19:48 PM   
ashyflower


Posts: 23
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you for the kind words sweetshyslave.

ashyflower

(in reply to sweetshyslave)
Profile   Post #: 20
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