how long do you have to be in the familarity stage

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how long do you have to be in the familarity stage - 2/1/2009 1:21:41 PM

whippingrl

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I have met with a male dom 4 times, last time he asked me to write an essay, I did and he wanted by thursday of last week. Then thursday came and he said Ill call you, he hasnt yet, he seems interested in training me, but I also want to know are you interested or not so I can move on.

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RE: how long do you have to be in the familarity stage - 2/1/2009 1:33:14 PM

dreamerdreaming

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He's just not that into you.

I know people will say that things happen, life can get busy, etc. but how long does it take to send you a quick text, or a quick phone call (a minute or two?) to say:
"I've got you on my mind but I'm just super busy right now"...?

Don't make him a priority unless he is showing by his actions, that you are a priority in his life. Strive for a reciprocal relationship. One in which each partner gets as much time and energy from the other, as they give.

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RE: how long do you have to be in the familarity stage - 2/1/2009 1:37:51 PM

agirl

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Who knows? He's sussing you out as much as you are him, no doubt.

You've met each other 4 times, that doesn't really impart a great deal. Only you know what you've got going with him.

agirl

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RE: how long do you have to be in the familarity stage - 2/1/2009 1:41:21 PM

sweetnurseBBW

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Well I couldn't say if he was interested or not but his consistency is not very good. I would give him a week then move on, if he can't communicate well I wouldn't want to be with him anyhow.

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RE: how long do you have to be in the familarity stage - 2/1/2009 1:54:23 PM

eyesopened

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First, to answer your question "How long do you have to be in the familarity stage?" the answer is "as long as you want." Some people are harder to get to know than others.

Most guys are not nearly as complicated as you are giving them credit for. That he met with you 4 times means he enjoyed whatever it was you were doing when you met. If he didn't enjoy it there wouldn't have been a second, or third meeting let alone a fourth.

Now, what went on at those "meetings" you don't tell us and what you chose as your subject for your essay you don't tell us, but I'm wondering if it may have played a part in his sudden advoidance.

In the future you may want to set the goal of the relationship early on so you both know if you are traveling in the same direction.

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RE: how long do you have to be in the familarity stage - 2/1/2009 2:10:06 PM

devotedinSD

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quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

He's just not that into you.

I know people will say that things happen, life can get busy, etc. but how long does it take to send you a quick text, or a quick phone call (a minute or two?) to say:
"I've got you on my mind but I'm just super busy right now"...?

I agree. Sending a short message takes 30 seconds, there's always time for that. If something is really important to me i'll do it, if it's not, well...then i won't.

I would move on.

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RE: how long do you have to be in the familarity stage - 2/1/2009 3:45:50 PM

DesFIP

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You're overinvesting everything in one person whom you barely know. Don't do that. You are free to move on or to talk to ten different guys until you decide you would like to commit to one. Don't start submitting to someone until you're sure he's worth submitting to. Just date and take it easy.

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RE: how long do you have to be in the familarity stage - 2/1/2009 5:02:26 PM

bamagirl4u

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I would give him the benefit of the doubt if your feelings for him are strong enough to warrant it. But...not that long...a few more days. As others have stated, in the world today it only takes a second to send a text. Best of luck to you..

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RE: how long do you have to be in the familarity stage - 2/1/2009 5:15:14 PM

eponavet

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quote:

ORIGINAL: whippingrl

I have met with a male dom 4 times, last time he asked me to write an essay, I did and he wanted by thursday of last week. Then thursday came and he said Ill call you, he hasnt yet, he seems interested in training me, but I also want to know are you interested or not so I can move on.

For me, one of the biggest requirements is that i can trust my Dom to do what He says....if He can't do something as simple as contact me when He says He is going to, why on earth would i let Him do actual THINGS to me that could bring thoughts into my head that maybe He won't follow through on what He says is going to happen - or not happen.

i agree with what some others have said - that maybe it isn't THAT big a deal since it hasn't gone very far, but in my case, for me, i would make it clear to Him that i needed better communication if it WAS going to go any further. The last thing a sub needs is mixed signals or the idea that she isn't doing good.....especially so soon.

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