Shrink vs. Bartender

Shrink vs. Bartender (Full Version)

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MasterG2kTR -> Shrink vs. Bartender (2/1/2009 5:26:01 PM)
EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE UNDER MY BED AT NIGHT. SO I WENT TO A SHRINK AND TOLD HIM . . 'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.' 'Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' said the shrink. 'Come talk to me Three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.' 'How much do you charge?' 'Eighty dollars per visit,' replied the doctor. 'I'll sleep on it,' I said. Six months later the doctor met me on the street. 'Why didn't you ever come to see me about those fears you w ere having?' he asked. 'Well, Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup!' 'Is that so!' he said with an attitude .. . . 'and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?' 'He told me to cut the legs off the bed! - Ain't nobody under there now ! ! ! ' SCREW THOSE SHRINKS.. GO HAVE A DRINK & TALK TO YOUR BARTENDER!

Termyn8or -> RE: Shrink vs. Bartender (2/1/2009 9:10:23 PM)
Lateral thinking at it's finest :-) Can we get that bartender to run for President I wonder ? T

SteelofUtah -> RE: Shrink vs. Bartender (2/1/2009 9:49:24 PM)
I used to think there was something in my Closet So My Mom got tired of all the freak outs and Did something that Today I think was BRILLIANT. I had one of those shelved that went the entire perimeter of my room. She Mounted a Closet Hanging Dowel to them and Moved my Dresser and TV and stuff into the Closet and then removed the sliding doors and Instead installed a Bamboo Roll up. There wasn't any room for a monster in the closet and the clothes on the wall just werent that scary. All the kids thought I had the coolest room too. More Parents need to think outside the box. Steel

FourQ -> RE: Shrink vs. Bartender (2/2/2009 1:34:32 PM)
Oddly enough Steel, my Um has a similar set up at my parents house. Of course, he has traditional wardrobes with a clown in his room at home.

SteelofUtah -> RE: Shrink vs. Bartender (2/2/2009 8:35:19 PM)
Clowns are only hot in Porn. But that's an old Thread. My Midget ..... Yeah TERROFIED of Ronald McDonald. Steel

Vendaval -> RE: Shrink vs. Bartender (2/3/2009 1:46:00 AM)
Yeah, a local McDonalds has one of those benches with a statue of Ronald sitting on it where the youngsters can sit down next to him. Creepy!

DesFIP -> RE: Shrink vs. Bartender (2/3/2009 5:55:06 AM)
When my youngest was afraid of monsters under the bed I pulled out my handy can of antimonster spray and zapped them. Furniture polish which gave a nice lemon scent. Cheap and easy fix. Did it for a couple of weeks and the monsters moved on.

sirsholly -> RE: Shrink vs. Bartender (2/3/2009 5:59:12 AM)
quote: My Midget ..... Yeah TERROFIED of Ronald McDonald. yanno...i was taking the LoudOne into McDonalds when i saw Ronald McDonald inside. We went back to the car and went through the drive-thru. For a litte wee one...that guy is scary!!

Dnomyar -> RE: Shrink vs. Bartender (2/3/2009 6:11:31 AM)
My daughter baby sat a kid who had watched Peter Pan and was deathly afraid that Captian Hook was under his bed. His parents could not get him to sleep in his bed. My daughter told the kid that the alligator was under the bed so Captian Hook could not be under there. The kid said he could not hear the alligator. So my daughter brought one of those loud ticking wind up clocks and put it under his bed. That worked like a charm.

MarksFantasyGirl -> RE: Shrink vs. Bartender (2/3/2009 7:48:19 AM)
My UM would be more afraid of the aligator than Captain hook! lol He was afraid of the "freaky hand" from the comercials for the magic kit that they played on all the kids channels around halloween. Here it was, the end of January, and He was STILL talking about it... Well, When He was diagnosed with Asthma, my mom and I went to His room when He wasn't there, and Scrubbed the whole room down from top to bottom. We told Him that while we were cleaning, we sucked the freaky hand up in the vacuum and threw it away. And since He was with his father, He didn't see it. So It worked. Haven't had a problem since.

FourQ -> RE: Shrink vs. Bartender (2/3/2009 11:34:40 AM)
My Um's only scared of the BMS server. It's set so at a certain time it turns our lights on and plays music for us to wake in the morning. The little so-and-so ran up to the keyboard, pressed Enter and as the last action ran was to turn the volume up to 100% it started blasting Rossini at 240 watts through the speakers. It's now used as a punishment, "Do you want Daddy to tell you off?", "No!!". If it doesn't work, "Do you want server to tell you off?". He doesn't answer that one, but starts behaving himself. Works a treat.[;)]

Naberius -> RE: Shrink vs. Bartender (2/3/2009 12:57:09 PM)
I happen to be close to a shrink...suicidologist. Now if I had such simple answers that a bartender gave, I'd be making good in therapy sessions.

SteelofUtah -> RE: Shrink vs. Bartender (2/4/2009 6:40:50 AM)
Naberius, Well the advice that you give I would hope would be to Adults and not munchkins. Honestly I don't know what the suicide rate is for children under ten I bet that number would scare the hell out of me. Steel

Naberius -> RE: Shrink vs. Bartender (2/4/2009 11:18:28 AM)
Up in Wisconsin, where I use to live, suicide among children and young adults ranked the state number 2 in the country having the highest rates. As to adults, Wisconsin ranked number 5. Now as to Georgia, I haven't been here long enough (less than a year) to come up with any statistics as of yet.

SteelofUtah -> RE: Shrink vs. Bartender (2/4/2009 12:26:06 PM)
Well thank you for that creepy statistic. Gunna go and love my Midget now. Steel

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