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RE: The definition of service? - 2/2/2009 3:33:32 PM   
bamagirl4u


Posts: 151
Joined: 12/25/2008
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This is hard for me to answer.  But...serving for me was a great joy for me when I was with my last Dom.  It was a lot of simple things like fixing His breakfast, refilling His tea, rubbing His legs, anything that made Him feel good was good for me as well.  Sexually, I do have some limits, but He respected them and found other ways of testing my submission based on what I do love.  I hope that when I find the right One again that He enjoys many of the same things and maybe even has a few new ones.  I may have limits, but I am willing to negotiate...in the right situation.

_____________________________

~Don't settle for the One you can live with~~Wait for the One you can't live without.~
~To thine own self be true~~no compromise.~

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
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RE: The definition of service? - 2/2/2009 4:25:33 PM   
whiteslavebitch


Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
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To me "submissive service" means doing whatever MasterK desires me to do within our agreed upon limits. Also, paying attention when he is talking, so I can find opportunities to serve him in ways not specifically asked for.

For example: a while ago his paper shredder burnt out, and he was mentioning that he needed to get a new one. While I was shopping at Costco shortly after that I noticed they had a good, heavy duty one for sale at a good price. I called him to let him know, was asked to pick it up for him while I was there, and he would pay me back when I delivered it to him.

_____________________________

MasterK's whiteslavebitch

formally collared 1/30/09

"I give to you my everything, you've given me these loving wings." - DMB

(in reply to Sanguinarian)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: The definition of service? - 2/2/2009 8:41:18 PM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
Forgive the recycling of a prior post, but I gave the following commentary of my thoughts on service a couple of years ago:

quote:

ORIGINAL: losttreasure

I didn’t want to derail SusanO’s thread, "the "Illusion factor" in bdsm makes it less "real". Discuss.", but in it, popeye1250 made the following comment:

quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

Susan, a sub or slave "wants" to serve.
If they enjoy serving their Dom or Master continuation of that service is contingent on rendering more service to their Dom or Master in a satisfactory manor for the relationship to continue.
I don't see any "force" being used at all.
Either party may "opt out" at any time.
And like you said there may be an element of illusion but if it makes the two people happy where's the "problem?"
I enjoy and appreciate service from a sub/slave every bit as much as they like to give said service!
So, as much as it may be arousing to the sub/slave it is also arousing to me. A symbiotic relationship!


While I can’t disagree at all with the gist of what he is saying and it is obviously regarding his own personal situation, it did getting me to thinking about his statement that “a sub or slave “wants” to serve.  I’ve often seen similar statements made regarding the submissive nature and the need to serve, and I sometimes get the impression that dominants feel this is true and given for all submissives, or at least should be.  It seems there is never a lack of commentary by dominants about the dismal understanding of submissives with regard to service.

Typically musings such as these are followed by discussion of the different types of submissives and the services they perform... the “bedroom sub”, the “domestic service sub”, etc.  And, it’s usually responded to with reminders that not all submissives are service submissives, which predictably leads to some kind of conversation mentioning the difference between subs who only want play and those who seek a 24/7 lifestyle.

At any rate, it seems that the concept of service usually gets stuck around the idea that it relates only to performing duties that provide for (or having responsibilities that are related to) either the comfort or pleasure of a dominant.

While both of these types of service have their appeal to me, I would not say that as a part of my nature that I desire or crave either.  Now, I will admit that I derive pleasure from being pleasing... and if performing domestic chores results in pleasing Fhky, then it is a source of happiness for me.  In the same vein and even more obviously, if in sexual service I can bring pleasure to him, again I am pleased.

But at my core, there isn’t a part of me that longs to provide these services.  I am not driven to my knees with need to do so.  Were that the case, there are an infinite number of opportunities to provide service in this world without having to relinquish my power to another... and if I were aroused simply by the act of serving, I could take those opportunities and walk through life in a state of perpetual sexual bliss without ever having to involve another individual in my private affairs.

That being said, in so much as these are sources of happiness for me and I do wish to be happy in my life, then yes, one could say that I desire and crave these types of service... but they aren’t the main type of service that “floats my boat”.

Beyond these common ideas of service there is one type that may be universally understood, but I believe is often forgotten or at least not spoken of frequently. The service that I’m referring to is the kind of service that one thinks about a Knight giving his king... it is fealty.  The desire to be in the presence of someone who embodies the essence of all that you hold dear in humanity.  To be on bended knee (or knees) pledging all that you are in adoration.  If you look up “fealty” in a thesaurus, you get the synonyms of allegiance, adherence, ardor, constancy, dedication, deference, devotion, duty, faithfulness, fidelity, homage, honor, loyalty, obedience, obligation, and piety.  To me, those words describe the ultimate service... the ultimate submission... the ultimate turn-on.



These thoughts still hold very true for me. 

Treasure
(formerly losttreasure... but found nearly three years ago)

(in reply to Sanguinarian)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: The definition of service? - 2/2/2009 11:00:26 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sanguinarian

Would anyone like to detail what they believe 'submissive service' means?



Serving anything he requires/desires from me, be it chores, food, myself, or anything else.


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to Sanguinarian)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: The definition of service? - 2/3/2009 12:54:18 AM   
ODschainedangel


Posts: 69
Joined: 10/4/2004
Status: offline
To me it is about doing what the Master/Mistress wishes even if it is not something you are going to get your kicks from. It is about doing the things that don't make you wet. I find many only want to do what makes them wet if females or hard if males.
To me it means as other says doing the day to day things, even on the moments we don't feel like it. Has been many times I would be thinking "wow i would like a grilled cheese but it is late i don't feel like making it " then go on about what i was doing and my Lord say " my girl I really would like a snack. And guess what now I go fix him what he wanted and make me something. Did i feel like it? no , did it make me wet? no but did i do it ? Yes because I belong to him and have decided to submit to him.
Just my thoughts
Angel

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: The definition of service? - 2/3/2009 1:07:08 AM   
malisa


Posts: 1
Joined: 1/19/2009
Status: offline
interesting, that is like being two persons in one body. one that wishes things, and one that does things, only both lacking authority and are in need of one to function in synergy and feel that they have a purpose.

(in reply to ODschainedangel)
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RE: The definition of service? - 2/3/2009 4:27:15 AM   
Vinmier


Posts: 41
Joined: 12/5/2008
Status: offline
For me personally, it means that I take care of things that my Lady might need. Such as the chores around the house. My daily routine is to get up, shower, make breakfast for us, do the dishes, go to work. When I get home from work, I cook dinner, then do the dishes, clean up the kitchen, and pick up around the house before I find other things to do like play my PS2 or read, or fiddle around with the computer.

There's many more tasks I do, most of which are just 'around the house' type things. Most things she's not even requested, but I know she appreciates me doing them. Such as hot coffee every morning when she gets up and around. ;)

(in reply to Sanguinarian)
Profile   Post #: 27
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