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RE: When You Hear the Word Fantasy - 2/2/2009 6:36:48 AM   
NYLass


Posts: 409
Joined: 12/30/2008
Status: offline 		My favorite fantasy:  a cat that vacuums after himself, a son who doesn't stare in the fridge for half an hour before deciding to make ramen noodles anyway and actually eats snacks at the table, not in his room. 

Edited to add: Finding a parking spot in front of my apartment.  Getting a seat on the subway next to a hot guy.  (My luck it would be a hot, sweaty, smelly guy.)


< Message edited by NYLass -- 2/2/2009 6:40:05 AM >

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RE: When You Hear the Word Fantasy - 2/2/2009 6:41:50 AM   
hardbodysub


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Status: offline 		If I mean sexual fantasy, I say "sexual fantasy". The word "fantasy" itself just means imaginary, and has no sexual connotation of its own. Like any word, there are shades of meaning depending on the context. If you spend a lot of time thinking about BDSM and sex, your fantasies will probably lean in that direction.

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RE: When You Hear the Word Fantasy - 2/2/2009 6:54:15 AM   
chezzy71


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Status: offline 		Look..i have fantasies about Mistress all the time..only i call it my thoughts.I am not trying to deceive...and i am sure there will be no need as our relationshiop grows to discuss it.I mean..c'mon..it will be real time thne and who needs to fantasize at that point.As long as one understand with the real time come real life issues that are always there on a day to day basis not including the rules of the house and so on.Once all thattakes place,i would think that i will be fairly busy to fantasize..and i know Mistress is always busy and staying active.I guess in a very chezz way...i amsaying it is not needed.

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RE: When You Hear the Word Fantasy - 2/2/2009 8:11:18 AM   
beargonewild


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Status: offline 		That all depends on the people I am with and what we happen to be discussing at that time. many of the fantasies I have are sexual in nature and many are non sexual in nature. For the most part , wishful thinking or dreaming are simply another name for the same critter. Many people say they don't fantasize which I see as self delusion as when they daydream of winning a lottery or being on a tropical island; this is a form of fantasy. Fantasy does not mean a person is escaping reality, it's just an innocent way to mentally escape for a few moments and yet stay grounded in reality. We all day dream, we all wish for fanciful things and we all have secret dreams and desire. It's when a person is unable to distinguish between reality and fantasy that creates problems though that's an entirely different topic.

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RE: When You Hear the Word Fantasy - 2/2/2009 8:33:56 AM   
SassySarijane


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quote:

It's when a person is unable to distinguish between reality and fantasy that creates problems


I think fantasies are great. I have a lot and fantasize often, but I never let it become my reality (well except for the ones that can actually be done that I want to do). I always know what's real and what's in my head. Several years back, I did withdraw from reality for awhile. It was so overwhelming and painful at the time I needed to escape it for awhile and I did, but not for very long. I came back because reality offered some good things I couldn't do without.

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RE: When You Hear the Word Fantasy - 2/2/2009 9:31:49 AM   
DavanKael


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Status: offline 		I don't inherently think of sex when the word fantasy is mentioned.  Having been into fantasy art and the associated genres for years, that is a prevalentportion of where my mind goes at the mention of the word.  Now, then you mentioned a singletail which, to me, would evoke sexual imagery, though I much prefer the idea of floggers to whips.  Then again, I don't separate play and sex. 
  Davan

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RE: When You Hear the Word Fantasy - 2/2/2009 9:53:40 AM   
Amaros


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Status: offline 		Organized religion is basically one big fantasy RPG, empirically speaking.

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RE: When You Hear the Word Fantasy - 2/2/2009 12:10:45 PM   
MsDDom


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Status: offline 		i have both nonsexual and sexual fantasies...in bdsm, more heavily on the nonsexual side...
i use the same term (fantasy) for both, as it is thought that has not actually happen, yet for me...will.


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RE: When You Hear the Word Fantasy - 2/2/2009 3:03:22 PM   
allthatjaz


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Status: offline 		Hi sassy

I was giving this thing 'fantasy' a lot of thought just the other day.
I fantasize a lot, especially sexually and during sex but and I think this is the important thing (for me anyway) my partner (the man I'm having sex with!) is always part of that fantasy.
I thought about my ex husband and how I used to fantasize about anything but him during sex and I wondered if I/ we ever got to that stage would it mean the relationship was doomed?
I talk openly with S about the things I think up in this kinky little head of mine. My fantasies are not my secrets and I happen to think this is an important part of sharing within a relationship


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RE: When You Hear the Word Fantasy - 2/2/2009 3:22:45 PM   
bamagirl4u


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Status: offline 		When I read the question my mind said no...why??  My life has taught me that having fantasies about unrealistic dreams only lets me down.  I have a few small ones, but all in all...I try to not expect much...lol...funny...the disappointments still come but the blow isn't quite as hard. 

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RE: When You Hear the Word Fantasy - 2/2/2009 3:23:59 PM   
oceanwynds


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Status: offline 		The word fantasy doesnt link to sex in my mind. It is link to writing or drawing about the other worlds, unicorns, fairies etc.

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RE: When You Hear the Word Fantasy - 2/2/2009 3:25:55 PM   
MidMichCowboy


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Status: offline 		Don't tell me you haven't sat at your desk at work, on a cold wintry day and fantasized about riding horse on a beach somewhere with a warm ocean breeze and sunlight caressing the waves.
Have you ever been in a meeting that was so boring, so you fantasized (or relived) riding your motorcycle down a two lane highway, with trees and mountains, the wind in your face?
When life gets boring or routine, I take care of my responsibilities, but a corner of my mind relives or imagines how life could be different.

By the way, for me, play and sex are one and the same. I don't do either casually. That is just where I'm at in life.

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RE: When You Hear the Word Fantasy - 2/2/2009 4:13:07 PM   
Prinsexx


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SassySarijane

When you hear the word fantasy, do you always think it's sexual? I think for a lot of people, myself included, it's the first thing that comes to mind at least. I have definitely been guilty of it over and over

When i hear the word fantasy i think of:
the difference between fantasy and its binary: reality
i think there's a clear distinction for most people (thank god) between the two otherwise mankind would on the whole be psychotic en masse
i think trying to fultil fantasies are a present day pre-occupation and a mark of emotional luxury....if we were hungry we would be fantasising about food.
i think, as you have alluded to yourself, that fantasies represent those acts which are gulit ridden for most people and therefore since sex carries its own weight of guilt for many, sure then fantasy is sex-ridden.
You say you have been guilty of 'it' but what exactly?
I rarely fantasise these days as i am far more concerned about getting things done in reality... or rather there are way so many importamnt things to achieve in what i determine is my real world.
If what you mean by fantaies are visualisations then sure i do that and they aren't so much sexual as to do with the stuff that might or might not lead to sex...you know the usual bondage, control etc.
I am more prone to visualise at the beginning of relationships than during or after a relationship is over.....
as for other people's fantasies.... they are a source of endless fascination for me and working them out as metaphores rather than repression are where i stand as a therapist.
Having shared visons, goals and yes, if you want to call them fantasies, with a significant other is a marker of a healthy relationship. If the goals are different, either sexually or any which way, then i don't think there''s much hope.


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RE: When You Hear the Word Fantasy - 2/2/2009 4:38:41 PM   
StrongSpirit


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Status: offline 		I have LOTS of non-sexual fantasies.  Violent ones.  Quit my job ones.   Skiing ones.   All kinds of non-violent ones.

Back when I thought pain was fun I used to have 'daymares'.  Nightmarish day-dreams.  But when I explored pain and found it a turn-off, my daymares went away.  Now I tend to fantasize about telepathic women that obey my every thought.

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RE: When You Hear the Word Fantasy - 2/2/2009 4:42:43 PM   
T1981


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quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit
Back when I thought pain was fun I used to have 'daymares'.  Nightmarish day-dreams.  But when I explored pain and found it a turn-off, my daymares went away.


Ahaha - the exact oppisite for me. Once I figured out that pain was my big ticket trip to gooey-ville, the daymares suddenly started showing up ALOT more!

And I hear ya' about the quitting job ones, for several jobs I've had those took up so much time that soon I was even dreaming about it at night while I slept...

To the OP: I have to echo another poster and Fey in here that said that in the company of geeks, I tend to think dragons, unicorns, RPG (tabletop) and WoW. But in any other setting, I think people are talking about sexual fantasies, since that's what it normally turns out to be once they get talking.


< Message edited by T1981 -- 2/2/2009 4:44:12 PM >

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RE: When You Hear the Word Fantasy - 2/2/2009 4:47:11 PM   
DavanKael


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Amaros

Organized religion is basically one big fantasy RPG, empirically speaking.



That's brilliant; may I quote you?  :> 
  Davan

As not to derail the thread, there are lots of different kinds of fantasy, those that are indulged in individually and those that are shared with others.  Again, as I noted earlier, I don't think that fantasy inherently means sexual but, again, regardless, it can be has many potential permutations. 
 

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RE: When You Hear the Word Fantasy - 2/2/2009 5:46:22 PM   
SassySarijane


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quote:

You say you have been guilty of 'it' but what exactly?


Ah...let me clarify. My statement about being guilty of it, was saying I've been guilty of thinking sexual first when someone says they have a fantasy. I've done that because most of the time I've heard that, it's turned out to be sexual.

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RE: When You Hear the Word Fantasy - 2/2/2009 5:53:14 PM   
SassySarijane


Posts: 1558
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From: KC Area Missouri
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

i think, as you have alluded to yourself, that fantasies represent those acts which are gulit ridden for most people and therefore since sex carries its own weight of guilt for many, sure then fantasy is sex-ridden.



I can honestly say that in the past a lot of my fantasies, sexual ones, were guilt ridden for me, seemed taboo and wrong and extreme. As I've grown, and especially in the time since I first found bdsm, I no longer feel guilty over my fantasies, sexual or play, like I did before it. I accept them, understand them and embrace them as either permanent fantasy or something to try in reality at some future point.

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RE: When You Hear the Word Fantasy - 2/2/2009 6:16:12 PM   
MyWorldCT


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Status: offline 		When I hear the word "Fantasy" my ears perk up (among other things), but I tend to use "dream about", when it comes to the lottery, etc.  Everyone has their own interpretation of every single word anyways.. define "reality" .. i bet we get 20 different interpretations of something that seems very coloquial and straight-forward.

But fantasy worlds are a great escape, whether these fantasy worlds are online, in your dungeon, or just in your head.  Live there when you can, but keep an eye on reality... it can get nasty when you are not looking 

< Message edited by MyWorldCT -- 2/2/2009 6:17:25 PM >

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RE: When You Hear the Word Fantasy - 2/3/2009 6:05:00 AM   
Amaros


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

quote:

ORIGINAL: Amaros

Organized religion is basically one big fantasy RPG, empirically speaking.



That's brilliant; may I quote you?  :> 
Davan

As not to derail the thread, there are lots of different kinds of fantasy, those that are indulged in individually and those that are shared with others.  Again, as I noted earlier, I don't think that fantasy inherently means sexual but, again, regardless, it can be has many potential permutations. 

Thanks, knock yourself out - it was more or less confirmed by the controversy over the Left Behind video game, which was so violent even Wal Mart refused to carry it..

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