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Madame4a -> RE: Straight up question (2/2/2009 3:23:49 PM)
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I'd politely decline. Her behavior is classic alcoholic -- apologies included. and.. really, my reaction was .. RUN
She has a relationship, like most users, and that is with her substance. As long as she has that, she won't be able to have another relationship.
quote:
ORIGINAL: StrangerThan
I attended a party this weekend that ostensibly was a birthday party for a girl who was maybe 20-21. I was approached during it about helping a woman there find a Domme. By the end of the night, I'd observed enough to say no. I don't mind helping people or putting people in touch with others I know, but here's the deal.
The woman in question has a lot of issues. She's close to 40, an alcoholic, has two children (early 20's maybe) who evidence more maturity and control than she does. In fact, at the end of the night, I heard her screaming from the bedroom and found 3 or 4 people trying to keep her from wandering off down the road. She wouldn't have wandered far. She couldn't walk that well. She would have probably ended up hurt, or in arrested before she'd gotten far. It was a cold night though. She could have ended up dead by the next morning, so keeping her from doing it was a good thing.
After a bit, the woman's daughter comes in and spends almost an hour calming her mother down long enough to get her in the car to take her home. This is the birthday girl.. She tells everyone, I have to do this all the time. Couple of mental notes there. It tells me the woman has been taking the children to parties where alcohol is available for a long time. Prior to this particular scene, the woman spent a while wallowing on a guy who was friends with and interested in the daughter. Said guy was cool about it, but not real comfortable with it.
The woman is also an apologist. I'm sorry comes out of her mouth every few minutes. After watching her a bit, you realize she uses the term, but doesn't feel it. By using it, I mean she will do something, then apologize. If the response is sympathetic because she's drunk, then she'll push it to the next point along the line where she becomes sorry, and tearful again. It was like watching an inch worm work it's way down a ruler. Every time someone was placating or evidenced sympathy, she would jump right back in a couple minutes later and do something else. This is part of how she ends up wallowing all over the guy who is interested in her daughter. By wallowing, envision the word. If he'd had wanted to fuck her, he probably could have right there. As it was he just kept trying to keep her at arms length.
By the middle of the night she was uncontrollable without constant supervison, and by the end of it, just uncontrollable. People kept telling me I needed to help her find a Domme.
My answer is that she needs to work on herself before anyone else really can. My answer is that I'd be saying I was sorry to anyone I put in contact with her. My answer is that she has a lot to learn and a lot to work through before she has any real value to a Dominant or even a real, honest to heaven mentor. Any good mentor will tell you that the impetus for change has to come from the person. And from what I saw, there is none.
So Domme's give me a straight up answer. Some of the others read this board, so tell me I'm wrong or tell them what she needs because I'm not getting involved in this one until she can get some control of herself.
But then again, I'm a guy what do I know.
Later.
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