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GoodFeathers -> RE: The Accidental Collar (2/9/2009 7:45:15 AM)
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Yes, it's happened to me.
An ex gave me a ring. He's no longer around, but I hold onto it, even though it's too big for me. I keep it in a small wooden box with my other tiny treasures; a bit of wax, a thimble, a bottle cap, a few bits of meaningful thread, some small stones, three rings, and a pentacle, among other small things that are mine alone.
All my tiny treasures have taken on a life of their own, so to speak. As such, if I left them, or the box, out in the open, my life would be stuck. I would dwell on those memories, the pleasures and pains of them, so I keep them, tucked away in a private place, in an unassuming little box and take them out only when I want or feel I need to remember. Sure, I can remember the items and the events and people I associate with them, but I don't relive those times without those trinkets.
I had a dom learn of my little box and he wanted to know about my treasures. I told him I was uncomfortable sharing them and he understood. He gave his word that he would not touch the box or its contents, so long as I explained the items and why I keep them. This was edging my comfort level, but I agreed. When we got to the ring, a sterling silver claddagh, his face took on an uncomfortably stern gaze. He knew it was from an ex that I had cared very deeply for and in many ways, still did. He wanted me to get rid of it, but I told him that was not going to happen as that ring was all I had left of my previous love. It was agreed that I was not to ever wear the ring (which I didn't since it didn't fit), but he was never comfortable with me keeping it around.
Unfortunately, it was never properly accepted or resolved in that relationship. And he didn't seem to ever understand why I kept my treasures.
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