Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Red, Yellow and Green Flags.


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Red, Yellow and Green Flags. Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Red, Yellow and Green Flags. - 1/16/2006 7:41:17 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		Red flags?

Telling me I'd be much better off with him/her than with my Owner. When that doesn't work, trying to hook up with my Owner and myself for play. Makes the person seem like they're just out for sex in whatever form.

Refusing to call me by my name or my handle as opposed to "girl' or "slave." I'm beginging to be ok with someone starting out that way, but continuing after I've requested to be called by name shows me that the person doesn't respect my wishes, which is critical to me untill I've been put under his/her authority.

Refusing to speak to -me- as opposed to my Owner, after I've made it clear that he trusts and prefers me to have these conversations and arange potential partners. Again, I understand being solicitous at the outset, but i've encountered individuals who tell me it degrades them to "negotiate" with a slave. Someone like that wouldn't fit into our dynamic.

Insistance that reliance of psychoactive medication is weakness.

Insitance that someone cannot have any limits in order to belong to someone else, and that if someone has limits they are lying/kidding/joking about their submission. Makes me realize the person hasn't thought through what he/she is saying very well.

ANY reference to 'breeding.' I've only encountered one person who wasn't refering to something morally repugant, even then, the meer use of the term rubbed me the wrong way.

Yellow stuff?
Overtly sexual conversation. Bad manners, IMHO, but doesn't automatically make me hate the person.

Pushyness to use webcams/have cybersex/phone sex. Annoying, again, but I can deal.

Unwillingness to accept the fact that I won't talk on the phone. ESPECIALLY when they are unwilling to meet face to face. I don't use the telephone, but I -do- offer to meet people realtime as soon as we both can do it. Requiring talking on the phone, but putting off face to face meetings makes me question who the person is and what they really want.

Someone that suddenly has a sub/slave/etc that they've owned for years, who appears after we've been takling for a couple days and I've made it clear I'm happily owned. They always seem to appear after I turn down requests for cyber/webcam sex.

Green?
Being my age. Shallow, yeah, but it -is- nice to get contacted by people in my age range. It makes me much more comfortable.

Being fairly inexperienced. I've not been at this very long. I like partners with similar levels of experience. Again, a comfort thing.

Being ok with playing with both my Owner and myself, and realizing that (if male) this doesn't make either my owner or the potential male gay. IE understanding that 2 straight males can play with a female, be in the same room, be sexual around each other, and NOT be sexual with each other.

Having a catchy sn that refers to something clever. IE inside jokes, silly gamer stuff, crap like that. I dunno, it just predisposes me to like someone.




_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Red, Yellow and Green Flags. - 1/16/2006 8:08:29 PM   
ZenrageTheKeeper


Posts: 237
Joined: 6/26/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: justheather
Just my taking an opportunity to publicly opine. I cant resist statements framed in bright pretty colors....


Should a submissive under my care suddenly be stricken with an illness and be unable to fulfill her role as my submissive, then I would have to consider dismissing her.

I find it interesting that you only objected to the statements that dealt with FAT. I didn't see anything about my not wanting someone too skinny in your comments. I didn't see anything applauding my ability to see through a woman's burn scars to find something else attractive. If you've got a self-image problem and can't deal with how other people see you, put the cheeseburger down and do something about it. Don't take your insecurities out on me.


(in reply to justheather)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Red, Yellow and Green Flags. - 1/16/2006 9:35:04 PM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilGeoff

Personal red flags:

Evasive or inconsistent answers
Presumption of acceptance ("once I'm your slave I will...")
"No Limits" ("Really? How exciting! I have this chainsaw fetish and I'm glad you volunteered!)
Refusal to provide references (if someone claims experience in the Scene. Newbies might not have any previous ...)
Getting defensive if my approach or opinion is different from theirs.

I could go on, but I don't want to seem like a picky bitch...
*LOL*

YIK,
- Geoff


LMAO!!! I love this approach and have used it several times...although I feign a penchant for red hot pokers applied to nether regions...but it gets my point across.

Red flags for me are evasiveness, more than one profile, not able to chat after 5pm or on weekends, currently dating others in my social circle...
Recently a red flag went up when a new prospective subbie stated "I have 4 HARD limits" and they were the top 4, and then proceeded to tell me how 1 of them has been bent and 1 of them has been broken...Umm, no, but thanks for playing.




< Message edited by yourMissTress -- 1/16/2006 9:36:05 PM >

_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to EvilGeoff)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Red, Yellow and Green Flags. - 1/17/2006 6:26:43 AM   
MistressAlexaS


Posts: 78
Joined: 1/13/2006
Status: offline 		Red flags: I want this this and this done to me and then I want you to do this this and this. I've had 5 different Mistresses/Owners in the last 2 years and I just don't understand what the problem is. I've been married three times and none of my wives understood me I want a woman who understands me and will take me to such heights that I've never known before. Are you really Dominant? Because I really think all females are submissive and they just look really sexy when they pretend to be dominant.
I have a 9 inch cock that stays hard all the time. I have no limits you can do anything you want to me. I can move anywhere at anytime just say the word. Your not fat are you? I hate fat women and I also hate women who have short hair they look like dykes and I also hate women etc etc...

My rule be honest and if I find out your lying and I will find out, don't let the doorknob hit ya in the ass on your way out.

~Alexa

_____________________________

Self-reliance is the only road to true freedom, and being one's own person is its ultimate reward.
Patricia Sampson

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Red, Yellow and Green Flags. - 1/17/2006 7:57:50 AM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ZenrageTheKeeper

quote:

ORIGINAL: justheather
Just my taking an opportunity to publicly opine. I cant resist statements framed in bright pretty colors....


Should a submissive under my care suddenly be stricken with an illness and be unable to fulfill her role as my submissive, then I would have to consider dismissing her.

I find it interesting that you only objected to the statements that dealt with FAT. I didn't see anything about my not wanting someone too skinny in your comments. I didn't see anything applauding my ability to see through a woman's burn scars to find something else attractive. If you've got a self-image problem and can't deal with how other people see you, put the cheeseburger down and do something about it. Don't take your insecurities out on me.




I believe that I very clearly mentioned that there was also the possibility that your submissive may lose weight and therefore no longer remain outside your "red flag" zone. Perhaps you did not read that line in my post? I admit, it was long.

I was not aware that I was to accompany any questions with applause for things like not holding burn scars, moles, precordial tails and superfluous nipples against potential partners.

I dont routinely offer laud for things like not pushing old ladies in front of trains either, but if it's a major accomplishment for you to not be completely superficial, then bravo for making that stride.

I addressed the subject of "FAT" because it was the subject of both a red and yellow flag. I didnt bring up the subject of "FAT".
I also addressed your issue with submissives who state they have no limits. You chose, however, to hone in on the issue of "FAT".

Im a vegetarian. I dont eat cheeseburgers. But thank you very much for the suggestion.

And thank you for clarifying the point that I questioned regarding whether or not you would tolerate body shape changes in your submissive once you have decided to spend the rest of your life with him or her.

My initial response to your post was carefully worded so as to avoid the appearance of attacking you. I was attempting to get past what appeared to be rhetoric and seek out the person behind the post for clarification and perhaps some deeper thought on the issues at hand. I asked you a number of relatively specific questions which you chose not to answer. That is not what I consider an attack, that is an attempt at dialogue. Im sorry you chose to read it otherwise.



< Message edited by justheather -- 1/17/2006 8:34:06 AM >

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to ZenrageTheKeeper)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Red, Yellow and Green Flags. - 1/17/2006 8:13:37 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

A submissive attitude that turns to a cockyassed attitude


LMAO....

/raises hand






Priceless.


_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 26
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Red, Yellow and Green Flags. Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.063