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I hate this part - 2/7/2009 6:55:13 PM   
SurrenderForMe


Posts: 229
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		SPOILER -  SUPER BITCH ON A RANT

I love that song.  It fits 99.9 % of the relationships out there.  People settle for shit.  They justify.  I have one sister who stayed with an abusive loser for too many years.  I have another sister who decides to divorce her husband and finds out he has cancer so she is stuck with him until she can get him better, while she loses her mind.  I, on the other hand, am just hanging out, cruising this site looking for pictures of hot Asian guys because I have a craving.  I even found one who is the epitome of what I had pictured.  Too far away and two years younger than my setting.  I can live with that.  I was just looking at the candy.   I never settle.

What do I get, 19 year old children chastising me because the thought of having sex with them would lead to years of therapy.  I didn't ever date anyone younger than 24 and my first lover was 28.  And he sucked.  I had to teach him everything and it was boring.  Although it fits with my pet peeve about all those people who wander around on mostly useless sites like this because they lack the balls to take a hit if someone really says no to them in person.  Get the fuck over it.  Try being a woman and taking that risk.  I did it, I've survived rejection, not many, but I've been rejected.  It hurts, you move on. 

Does age matter?  Fuck yes, after a certain gap you would have to be a mindless, disinterested fuck doll to be with someone.  I know it is impossible to quantify, but I picked 15 years down and 6 years up.  Why?  I like, innocent and young looking guys and women.  Not the contradiction it seems.  I like to explore corruption without causing damage, or maybe the facade.  I like to be able to say, remember when x and not see a blank stare.  I like to have someone who can understand issues as they come up because they have lived them.  If you don't live it, you can't, with any real empathy, relate.

Unfortunate reality is, I am 44 now.  My partner is dead.  I was not supposed to have to do this shit again.  Yeah, I know, "I'm so sorry, get over it."  Reality bites and bites and bites.  I should call all the people I used to know here and go to parties and clubs and do the meat market.  Not that bad, it usually takes a few months to find someone I like, but I don't want to.  I just want to have someone I know to beat and fuck into a coma.  I don't care about domme or sub.  I'm a domme that doesn't go away.  Anyone with me submits or is gone.  All these stupid labels and worthless angst.  Including mine lol.

Ok, I cheered up.  Back to looking at kawaii pictures.

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RE: I hate this part - 2/7/2009 7:12:13 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		I empathize. I'm 46, and had 2 nearly-ideal men in my life. They died... it was the worst flaw in them that I can think of. There should be a RULE that once you find the right family, NOBODY should have the right to frigging DIE (for those who are insulted... this is meant to be flippant). One had a bit of a temper, but he never stopped being a gentleman... and he was HOT... younger than I thought I'd like, but mature, and a bodybuilder, with sculpted coffee skin and black-on-black eyes. The other was bi, leaning heavily towards men... but I never doubted that he loved -me-. He was -older- than I would normally have considered, but his hair caught my attention, because most guys don't have the patience for long hair, and I -love- -love- -love- it. His was the long, straight kind... a waterfall of blonde... natural blonde, too. The way our household was when they were part of its core was as close to my ideal as I've ever been. Now, I compare the new guys in my life to what I've already had, and so far, none of them have made the cut -- I'd love to find the man who would compare well enough that I'd forget to compare... but it hasn't happened yet, so I'm not holding my breath. If it comes, I'll know it -- but if it doesn't, I'm not going to go feeling sorry for myself. I had something more amazing than many people have, and I have had the luxury of not ever having to compromise -me- to be with someone else... so I am unlikely to do it now. Being alone isn't so bad, and I'm not even in that place, because I still have my Darling in my life. Besides, I'm pretty good company, and I never have to feel like I'm compromising my standards to be with me.

< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 2/7/2009 7:15:17 PM >

_____________________________

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Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to SurrenderForMe)
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RE: I hate this part - 2/7/2009 7:12:21 PM   
aravain


Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline 		Ugh, I'm with you entirely, though on different issues and in different ways.

I've never gone through the usual 'getting to know you' phase with anyone I've dated. To date, I've dated, 3 women and 1 man (2 if you count long-distance, internet 'dating'). Each of the women was silly (and more for appearances), and two were friends already, one was someone who randomly kissed me at a school dance (when I first met her). None of the female relationships lasted more than, say, a week?

The relationship with a man lasted for 2.5 years. It was quite serious.

We met by 'stranger' cuddling. The 'getting to know him' never really happened until we were serious, and almost a year in the relationship.

So I don't REALLY know how to do it, how to start it, how to go through it. It's like a vital piece of knowledge that I've never picked up (like a monkey that never learned how to climb).

I want that section to be *done* already and be in a relationship (but in a slightly more healthy fashion than my last one). That doesn't happen, though.

And y'know what? I'm not going to settle (and good for you for not doing it, too)! I'm not going to go into a relationship or try dating someone that I *know* will not fit my standards... which are the only types of bites I've been getting in the 'dating world' both on the internet, and in real life.

(in reply to SurrenderForMe)
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RE: I hate this part - 2/7/2009 7:15:03 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		Can I offer you gentle hugs? If so, ((gentle hugs))

If Sir didnt come into my life, I would still be here and not looking. Wasnt looking then either, but he just showed up at my door. What can I say?:) I swore when hubby died, I would not enter another relationship. So what did I do, enter another one but this time D/s and not vanilla. So at 55, being a widow for just a year, my life does another upside down turn, and it is what it is.


(in reply to SurrenderForMe)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: I hate this part - 2/7/2009 7:41:33 PM   
SurrenderForMe


Posts: 229
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		Hey Calla,

Love long straight falls, but only met one that I liked and he was a dom.  Worse a suffering poly dom.  So fuckable.

I'm fine alone, just super duper horny and jerking off has always made me hornier. 

On a serious note,  sorry for your losses.  I can relate to meeting someone and seeing it as a flaw when they aren't someone else.  I did it with a woman.  Unfortunately, she didn't have a shot.  My ex was a guy and the contrasts expanded from there.  I really liked her and wish I had just been friends.  She was spectacular and I didn't care.  I stuck it out with her for an extra 6 months because of guilt.  Ick.

Really am not looking for sympathy.  Funny is better.  A decent sized penis (real or rubber), attached to a tall thin long haired person, who loves pain and objectification would be a nice treat.  Walking downtown Boston, with a dildo up their ass, with a tail hanging outside their clothing at 1 pm on a Monday while people wonder "what the fuck"  would be fun.  If I could just get over the monogamy thing, slutting around would be good too.

Best wishes for good sex and good adventures to you and all.

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: I hate this part - 2/7/2009 7:57:52 PM   
SurrenderForMe


Posts: 229
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		Hi Aravain,

No offense, but you are a strange little boy.  21, worried about your labels (I read your post on not being accepted as gay because you slept/sleep with women) and so angsty.  You are very cute.   

There is no rule book.  If you want to get to know someone before jumping in, get to know them before jumping in.  We are so hard on ourselves.  Me, I haven't dated anyone for more than 4 dates before we were in a relationship.  I know if I like them enough after 4 dates that I will be with them for a while.  My shortest relationship, not counting one, was 18 months.   I know this.  I know I am a good companion in a relationship.  I suck with people in general, but whoever I focus on tends to submerge themselves in the attention I pay to who and what they are.   It is so unfair to myself not to make them suffer by keeping them hanging for weeks and months.  I have to explore that.

So have fun.  Don't always stick to your list.  I have my list and the majority of it has to be there.  Certain items are critical, but in the end, if we can laugh, we can love.  Because that was too mushy for me, love involves lots of pain, and really tasty blood if I get lucky.  And copious amounts of oral sex.

Take care

< Message edited by SurrenderForMe -- 2/7/2009 7:58:42 PM >

(in reply to aravain)
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RE: I hate this part - 2/7/2009 8:01:32 PM   
SurrenderForMe


Posts: 229
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		Hi oceanwynds,

I wish you all the happiness you can find.

(in reply to oceanwynds)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: I hate this part - 2/7/2009 8:12:25 PM   
aravain


Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline 		Strange is a very apt term  angsty, too.

I've got a pretty short list, and the critical items are all it is.

1) There must be mutual sexual attraction
2) Must be relatively close in age
3) He must be (generally) more dominant in personality.

Anything else? Totally unimportant in comparison. There's some stuff I like, stuff I'd like to try, stuff I don't like... but they all take a back seat (and can generally be worked around). Any one of them missing? I'm settling. And I will beg my friends to tell me that before I fall in too deep.

Take care yourself :D

(in reply to SurrenderForMe)
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RE: I hate this part - 2/7/2009 8:30:06 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SurrenderForMe

Hi oceanwynds,

I wish you all the happiness you can find.



Thank you SurrenderForMe and the same to you.

(in reply to SurrenderForMe)
Profile   Post #: 9
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