Treated like a lady (Full Version)

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susie -> Treated like a lady (2/7/2009 10:57:00 PM)

I am currently on a chat / contact site as we are searching for someone (won't go into details) but I am quite often contacted by men some of whom are interested in chatting about the "lifestyle".  Over the last couple of days I have chatted to a chap in the US who saw my profile picture and keeps telling me how "hot" I am. We have discussed how things worked in our relationship and to start with he was interested.

After much discussion he has now suggested that I should leave Master so I can be treated "like a lady" iand with respect in a relationship.

I have never considered that I am treated in any other way by Master. He may control most of my life but I know that he still respects me as a person.

Do others think that being a sub means you are not being treated with respect by your Dom?



aravain -> RE: Treated like a lady (2/7/2009 11:02:30 PM)

I don't... but I've certainly met those that do.



devotedinSD -> RE: Treated like a lady (2/7/2009 11:23:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: susie

.

Do others think that being a sub means you are not being treated with respect by your Dom?


No, but some do and I've met such dominants also.



Vendaval -> RE: Treated like a lady (2/7/2009 11:46:44 PM)

That does not fit my view but for some lack of respect and humiliation play a large part in dominance.



agirl -> RE: Treated like a lady (2/8/2009 3:26:49 AM)

Being treated in a mutally ageeable way shows respect , not lack of it, no matter what you are or how you live.

agirl



colouredin -> RE: Treated like a lady (2/8/2009 3:31:59 AM)

I wouldnt want to be treated like a 'lady' It makes me uncomfortable im a girl, but having said that no bollocks am I not treated with respect, if I am then the dude what does it will get a severe tounge lashing



allthatjaz -> RE: Treated like a lady (2/8/2009 3:38:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: susie

I am currently on a chat / contact site as we are searching for someone (won't go into details) but I am quite often contacted by men some of whom are interested in chatting about the "lifestyle".  Over the last couple of days I have chatted to a chap in the US who saw my profile picture and keeps telling me how "hot" I am. We have discussed how things worked in our relationship and to start with he was interested.

After much discussion he has now suggested that I should leave Master so I can be treated "like a lady" iand with respect in a relationship.

I have never considered that I am treated in any other way by Master. He may control most of my life but I know that he still respects me as a person.

Do others think that being a sub means you are not being treated with respect by your Dom?


Is this a vanilla site?

If so he's been listening and perving so far but why on earth would he have any understanding? after all he's vanilla isn't he?




DesFIP -> RE: Treated like a lady (2/8/2009 4:45:24 AM)

I am treated with caring and respect. He opens doors, does most of the snow shoveling, takes on the heavier physical work. But most importantly he shows me always that he likes and respects me and my thoughts. He may not agree with me about what is the right decision but he always treats my concerns seriously. And to me that is the highest showing of respect, that he listens to me and believes me.



CatdeMedici -> RE: Treated like a lady (2/8/2009 5:05:27 AM)

I think that (A) we judge--end of story.  What seems like abuse to some, is a loving dynamic to those involved--we judge pure and simple.
 
I also think that (B)--those are canned lines that men think they can use to turn "your pretty little head"--as if you had no substance.



IrishMist -> RE: Treated like a lady (2/8/2009 5:25:51 AM)

Oh hell susie, you know as well as anyone else what he is trying to do. He wants to fuck you and from where he's standing, the only way that will happen is if you 'leave your current man'.

He will say anything, try anything...to get you to doubt your present relationship.

Oldest trick in the fucking book.



feydeplume -> RE: Treated like a lady (2/8/2009 5:43:19 AM)

quote:

be treated "like a lady"


I often wonder if they realize what they are actually offering. I mean living in a big manor house with servants SOUNDS nice, until you take into account that you are never alone, the servants are stealing the silver, flower arranging is not everyone's cup of tea, nor is having tea with those little sandwiches. And being a broodmare til you have the heir and a spare.
Then there is pretending to care about the blatherings of your social peers, port, the wine list, dealing with the dress makers, the weekend gatherings, and the radical isolation that goes with the social standing.

Thanks, I would rather be a woman than a be treated like that. (now to actually BE a lady with a huge dress allowance and (after the boys) freedom to just live on the Riviera "for my health" WOOOOT! if you wanna treat me like THAT kind of lady, drop a note here and i will get back to you!)



califsue -> RE: Treated like a lady (2/8/2009 6:07:58 AM)

You hit the nail on the head.
quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

I think that (A) we judge--end of story.  What seems like abuse to some, is a loving dynamic to those involved--we judge pure and simple.
 
I also think that (B)--those are canned lines that men think they can use to turn "your pretty little head"--as if you had no substance.



oceanwynds -> RE: Treated like a lady (2/8/2009 6:44:25 AM)

I am treated with respect.
Reading your post OP, brought to mind these type of people who tend to not comprehend a certain lifestyle, or a person's make up. The if only syndrome, that has been around for a long time. If only you had the right man, you wouldnt be a lesbian, if only you found the right Dom you wouldnt be a Domme, if only you had the right man you wouldnt be a submissive/slave; if only  you ... the list goes on.

It is the feeble mind imo that sees things this way. I will not if only them. What is is.



littlewonder -> RE: Treated like a lady (2/8/2009 6:59:10 AM)

I have found many many times that  a lot of malesubs use this line on femsubs because they are the type that want to shower women with the best of everything because they worship all women and think that when women are treated as objects, are controlled, then she must not be getting any respect.

They can't stand to see women treated as anything less than a Goddess in their eyes.

I usually just tell them thank you for their concern and I wish them the best of luck in their search and I move on.



littlesarbonn -> RE: Treated like a lady (2/8/2009 7:11:18 AM)

Some people are only interested in how they can get the most out of you with least effort. That sounds a lot like the person you described.

Whenever I find myself involved in an already established relationship (the third wheel), I tread very softly because obviously I'm the one who is intruding, so I really feel I have no right to be clogging along telling others that they need to change their ways.



kyraofMists -> RE: Treated like a lady (2/8/2009 7:28:34 AM)

Being submissive doesn't really say much about how I am being treated in my relationship.  However, him treating me like I am his slave is not disrespectful to me.  In fact, it shows his profound respect for who I am.  If he were to "treat me like a lady" and either defer to me or consider this relationship to be egalitarian, then I would not perceive that he respected who I am.

I think that is the problem for some people.  They have this idea of what showing respect looks like and they can't get out of that box.  To treat me in a manner that would ultimately be unfulfilling for me, is showing disrespect for who I am.

Knight's Kyra



T1981 -> RE: Treated like a lady (2/8/2009 7:49:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists
To treat me in a manner that would ultimately be unfulfilling for me, is showing disrespect for who I am.

Knight's Kyra


Bingo, Kyra. You nailed exactly what I would have (or at least tried to have!) said. I've run into people who would be horrified at the way my husband treats me during play, but the truth of the matter is that what we do satisfies my soul, and without that, I'd be lost. So the fact that he respects my desires, my wants, my needs - that he is open to satisfying them - shows true gentlemenship, and for it, I wouldn't change it for the world.

And as Fey said, being in a house with servants and all that - sounds nice, but would eventually be a total drag!



nicknacks -> RE: Treated like a lady (2/8/2009 9:06:57 AM)

Would a guy who calls you "hot" treat you like a lady? Sounds like he wants to get into your pants.

In my younger days, treating a woman like a lady involved holding doors open for women, giving gifts to them and just generally kissing up to a woman (in simple terms). Perhaps rights movements have changed that view. Today "being treated like a lady" means treating a woman the way she desires to be treated. Does your Master treat you the way you want to be treated and respect your feelings? If so, I think that qualifies as treating you like a lady.

In perspective, I held a door open for a woman as I was entering the workplace and she was surprised. "Thank you! I didn't think guys did that sort of thing anymore. You're such a gentleman." The same evening I held the door open for a different woman as I was exiting, and she glared at me as if she could cut my throat on the spot; she did not say a word. The morning woman felt like she was being treated like a lady, but the evening woman was apparently insulted.

It's up to you to decide how you want to be treated and to find the person who will treat you that way.



susie -> RE: Treated like a lady (2/8/2009 9:35:48 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: feydeplume

quote:

be treated "like a lady"


I often wonder if they realize what they are actually offering. I mean living in a big manor house with servants SOUNDS nice, until you take into account that you are never alone, the servants are stealing the silver, flower arranging is not everyone's cup of tea, nor is having tea with those little sandwiches. And being a broodmare til you have the heir and a spare.
Then there is pretending to care about the blatherings of your social peers, port, the wine list, dealing with the dress makers, the weekend gatherings, and the radical isolation that goes with the social standing.

Thanks, I would rather be a woman than a be treated like that. (now to actually BE a lady with a huge dress allowance and (after the boys) freedom to just live on the Riviera "for my health" WOOOOT! if you wanna treat me like THAT kind of lady, drop a note here and i will get back to you!)



Not quite what I meant by being treated like a lady!



greeneyedreamer -> RE: Treated like a lady (2/8/2009 12:41:44 PM)

Oh my... My Dominant Master treats me more like a lady than any Vanilla man ever did... So that's my own personal opinion...



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