|
Termyn8or -> RE: Unintentional humor - public signs (2/9/2009 6:53:40 AM)
|
All that money for nothing. I find humor in alot smaller signs, like "School crossing".
Now I don't know how things are in your part of the world but generally when we build a school around here it stays put, and very rarely crosses the road.
When we get on I 90 going onto town, there is a sign "Reduced speed ahead". No kidding. The speed limit sign pops up and says 50 MPH, but I know better. Just try to do 50 MPH, this is downtown, you are lucky to do 5 MPH.
Then you get off the highway and on a sidestreet the sign says "Slow children". What does that mean, that they are too stupid to stay out of the street ? OK I'll keep an eye out. I also assume that means if I run one over I should just drive away right ?
Made a wrong turn one day saw a sign said "Deaf child". I blew my horn, I figured it wouldn't bother him. Then I see a sign syas "Hospital zone", well they must be right because I saw an ambulance there at the accident that tied up traffic for hours.
At 101st and West Blvd there is a sign that says "Dangerous intersection", that was simple, I turn on W103rd now. Almost ran over a kid. blew my horn and the little fucker seemed oblivious to it. He must have escaped from the street with the "Deaf child" sign. No problem, once he got out of the middle of the street I just went around.
I also noticed beware of dog signs but I don't give them much heed. They seem to be put up by people with small spaniels or at best a German sheperd. Geez you can break their jaw with your left hand without breaking your stride, yet people with rotwielers and pit bull usually don't put up those signs. Surprise surprise.
Then I see a sign that says "No solicitors", I figured they had a need for solicitors so I went up and sold them a few things they didn't need.
So back on the highway I see a sign "Right lane ends". About a hundred feet later I see a sign says "Merge left". Why didn't you tell me that in the first place ? How was I supposed to know what I should do ?
Actually, being in Ohio, our favorite sign is "End construction". I always say "I'm for that". Seriously there has not been a day in this state since the 1950s that there wasn't some road construction going on. Perhaps it is because we can't get foreign workers to come in and build a road right.
Then one day I'm driving through Georgia and there is a sign "Slow down we have lost ___ workers due to accidents in this year. They still have chain gangs down there, so I tossed my weed out the window. Was kind funny seeing thirteen guys all in a row scrambling to pickup the "packege" that I dropped. I think one of them got run over but I'm sure the rest of them pretty much own the cellblock now, because that was mighty good weed.
Then I see a billboard advertising the teen plan for cellphones, 43,000 minutes a month. I guess the remaining 200 minutes a month is to charge the battery, silly me to not figure that out right away. Think I ran over one of them anyway, but there was no sign, I just drove away.
Then I get to Brooklyn where it is illegal to talk on the phone while driving, the sign says "Park to talk". Well the phone rang and it was my Mother. In my mental quandry over whether to answer it or not I rear ended a cop car. Take that fucking sign down !
Ahhh another school crossing. Get those fucking kids and whatever out of the street. That school isn't going anywhere. Ninnies.
If you can't take this with a grain of salt and a sense of humor, I suggest that you not drive in the state of Ohio, which isn't really a state at all by law, but that is a subject for another thread. But the sign does actually state the truth, that Jack Daniels has been around since before Ohio supposedly became a state. Got to go with what works right ?
Actually signs are not the only things here that can make you go hmmmmmm. I'm looking at an empty pack of cigarettes, Pall Malls. Now a pall is a corpse, and a mall is a place you go to get things. I'm switching to Marlboros. If nothing else I like the song.
Speaking of songs "Sign says long haired freaky people, needn't ought to apply", I got the job.
T
|
|
|
|
