RE: Brand new year...looking up? (Full Version)

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KatyLied -> RE: Brand new year...looking up? (1/19/2006 7:08:55 PM)

Oh for fuck's sake.
Some people are truly living in an alternate universe and unfortunately I was pulled into it, not once, but twice (my bad).
I am now taking the lowest of roads by once again posting in this most ridiculous thread. I hope that some of you won't hold it against me as to be here shows that I have no class. (and to the one who urged me to take a peek here, you know how I feel about living my life on the message board, errr).
Yes I was a sub, or a Pet or a slave, or so I was told. I seeked the truth and was met with lies and head games.
The end.



girl4you2 -> RE: Brand new year...looking up? (1/19/2006 8:38:08 PM)

ed.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaMalinche
A bunch of girls being snarky about someone. And then patting themselves on the back using the excuse that they are helping others by making this an object lesson.

And over what is all this snarkiness? Two people's happiness? Yep, there is a good reason to be so small-minded and belittling about them.

LaMalinche
--------------------------------------------------------
Da mihi sis bubulae frustrum assae, solana tuberosa in modo gallico fricta, ac quassum lactatum coagulatum crassum

perhaps there was a bit more involved than a few girls being snarky trying to make an object lesson.

just perhaps it was about caring about another person enough to admit to choices and decisions they were not proud of and about not wanting to see someone else, who seemed very special, being hurt.

that a person's given name was thrown out into a post, to me, is horrendous. behaviours have not been without reproach by the antagonist.

when i wish someone well, i mean it. when mist was depressed during the holidays, i was posting what i felt would be helpful thoughts. as i watched this thread unfolding, i remained neutral.

i do have a place in all of this. if anyone consistently reads the boards, they know this. i'm still deciding whether or what to say, but if/when i do, it will mainly consist of links to things that are freely available from these boards.

and that's all i have to say on this for now.

IrishMist, i do very much wish you well.



KatyLied -> RE: Brand new year...looking up? (1/19/2006 10:03:28 PM)

quote:

And over what is all this snarkiness?


This is not snarky; this is real.
With that being said, I am out of this thread.
And ever hopeful of better things in the future.



fastlane -> RE: Brand new year...looking up? (1/19/2006 11:54:23 PM)

I too am out of this thread. I said my peace and the two I have been with have now said there's. Again, the two, not the dozens as has been implied here.
I apologize to you both for obviously hurting your feelings. I can not say it louder and I can not say it more clearly.
We all have made mistakes, now everyone here knows mine. I'm human too and I am sure there are more to come, but I will try my best to limit them. The hurt was not intentional, is all I can say as I move on and I regret it happened at all, but I will learn from this misadventure and not repeat my mistakes. That is all I can do.
The rest of the people who think they have a stake in this can be as vidictive or as forgiving as they choose to be, I hope it is the latter and we all move on to a happier place.

Fastlane exits this thread and says don't forget to turn out the lights as he leaves, coz I'm not coming back.

As always, Peace! Kevin



LaMalinche -> RE: Brand new year...looking up? (1/20/2006 12:02:57 AM)

LaMalinche looks around the room as says to herself, "What the party is over?"

"What ever will I do with all this Flan? The wiggly-jiggly-fun dessert that makes everyone happy."

Guess I will just have to look for love elsewhere. *sigh*

LaMalinche

----------------------------------------------------------------

"Personal density," Kurt Mondaugen in his Peenemünde office not too many steps away from here, enunciating the Law which will one day bear his name, "is directly proportional to temporal bandwidth."
"Temporal bandwidth," is the width of your present, your now. It is the familiar "∆ t" considered as a dependent variable. The more you dwell in the past and in the future, the thicker your bandwidth, the more solid your persona. But the narrower your sense of Now, the more tenuous you are.


Those must have all been important to me once. What I am now grew from that. A former self is a fool, an insufferable ass, but he's still human, you'd no more turn him out than you'd turn out any kind of cripple, would you?



girl4you2 -> RE: Brand new year...looking up? (1/20/2006 4:47:36 AM)

ed.
quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

I too am out of this thread. I said my peace and the two I have been with have now said there's. Again, the two, not the dozens as has been implied here.

We all have made mistakes, now everyone here knows mine. I'm human too and I am sure there are more to come, but I will try my best to limit them... but I will learn from this misadventure and not repeat my mistakes.

i'm sorry to have to post here again, but the addition is a tad off. it should read 3 posted here plus at least 1 other simultaneously involved party who was also also unaware of the others; that came from your mouth, so i suppose it's not really hearsay.

everyone here does not really know your mistakes. i do hope that you have learned from these "misadventures" and will not continue to repeat this type of behaviour. mist deserves far better, as did katy, et al.



LaMalinche -> RE: Brand new year...looking up? (1/20/2006 7:19:54 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: girl4you2

ed.
quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

I too am out of this thread. I said my peace and the two I have been with have now said there's. Again, the two, not the dozens as has been implied here.

We all have made mistakes, now everyone here knows mine. I'm human too and I am sure there are more to come, but I will try my best to limit them... but I will learn from this misadventure and not repeat my mistakes.

i'm sorry to have to post here again, but the addition is a tad off. it should read 3 posted here plus at least 1 other simultaneously involved party who was also also unaware of the others; that came from your mouth, so i suppose it's not really hearsay.

everyone here does not really know your mistakes. i do hope that you have learned from these "misadventures" and will not continue to repeat this type of behaviour. mist deserves far better, as did katy, et al.



Girl, next time he wants to know
What your problem is
Next time he wants to know
Where the anger comes from
Just tell him this time the problem's his
Tell him the anger just comes
It just comes

LaMalinche

-------------------------------------------------------------

So my heart finally broke. It was so long bent. And it broke in three places when it finally went. It wanted only to say what it meant. So it suffered every punishment.



girl4you2 -> predator? (1/20/2006 9:52:50 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaMalinche

Girl, next time he wants to know
What your problem is
Next time he wants to know
Where the anger comes from
Just tell him this time the problem's his
Tell him the anger just comes
It just comes

LaMalinche

i thank you for your kind words, but it's not really anger that i feel. disgust perhaps, or something akin to it. i do not feel any pains from him, but i also do not feel that he should just slide away again acting to be the injured party when there are others who are hurting now.

it's time to tell a little tale:

as i said, i was a part of all of this myself. a lot of it was played out on the boards, and i'm including links which i would imagine many will recall reading. kevin started emailing me in the fall, which i've found out is when he was seeing katy as well. he told me many things, among them that he would let her down gently, as he talked of a future with me.

i spent some time with him at his house, and upon my return, he asked to borrow $13,000 to pay off his credit card debt. i was floored. shortly after i didn't send the money, he broke things off with me. he told me that "forever and beyond" was b.s. (and he broke it off in an IM; wouldn't even pick up a phone).

yes, i was hurt, but i regrouped. a few weeks later, he changed his profile to reflect that he had found a slave out west. he told me that he had talked with her before talking to me or katy, and that she was going to move in with him (she was 25). he asked me if it didn't work out with this girl if i'd go back with him. i was aghast that he'd even ask such a thing.

turns out this girl didn't move in, and the emails and phone calls started coming, with him saying it wasn't he who broke it off, it was me. then the "doms can be dumb" and "slave's second chances" threads came out, with him hoping to get the board people behind him.

several times during this he became very hostile in his words. he thought because he allegedly didn't have sex with this girl, that all should just be forgotten. his emails and calls continued up until a couple of weeks ago. he would say in them that he was still my "master" and always would be. when i began talking to another dom, he started another thread on the boards, "Slaves second chances." during this time, he was also getting back with katy. i will let her tell what she thought of all of this, and how she learned that he had decided to break up with her. that she was strung along for so long, more than once, pains me dearly.

i don't tell this story for revenge; i don't do revenge as it does nothing for anyone but harm. i tell it in the hopes that it might help another to listen to their instincts and to pay attention to the details. much of my story was put out on the boards as i questioned whether i should honour and send him the money even though to do so would be a hardship for my family. i also didn't play his games with the dumb threads. i'd suspect a good many people remember them well enough.

i don't know mist, but from what i've read, she's a pretty special woman. she's also a fellow irish woman. i don't wish to see her open up for the first time since she lost her husband to someone who will hurt her as he has hurt so many. yes, i know she is a grown woman and will need to make her own decisions, but she ought to have the facts upon which to base that choice.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_223814/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#223814 Doms can be dumb too
http://www.collarchat.com/m_232199/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#232199 Slave's second chances (that NY state of mind)
http://www.collarchat.com/m_234405/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#234405 Is it wrong for a Dom to be dumb?
http://www.collarchat.com/m_235287/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#235287 Can a Dom be too smart for his own britches?
http://www.collarchat.com/m_239700/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#244702 (one can only imagine what it's like to find out this way that there is another)
http://www.collarchat.com/m_244923/mpage_3/key_/tm.htm#247525 (one wonders how it feels to see your name put out in public)
http://www.collarchat.com/m_232199/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#232217 (asking for a friend)
http://www.collarchat.com/m_223814/mpage_2/key_/tm.htm#232223 (questions wondered)
http://www.collarchat.com/m_232199/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#232238 (turned 'round the way it should have been)
http://www.collarchat.com/m_232199/mpage_2/key_/tm.htm#232765 (another turn)
http://www.collarchat.com/m_191506/mpage_1/key_promise/tm.htm#191790 (about promises and mutuality)
http://www.collarchat.com/m_191111/mpage_1/key_promise/tm.htm#191453 (I promise...)
http://www.collarchat.com/m_168390/mpage_1/key_honesty/tm.htm#168474 (on advice)
http://www.collarchat.com/m_206919/mpage_1/key_honesty/tm.htm#206933 (on honesty)
http://www.collarchat.com/m_223862/mpage_1/key_honesty/tm.htm#223980 Honesty
http://www.collarchat.com/m_164785/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#164785 Pet at my feet tonight



KatyLied -> Predator? (1/20/2006 9:56:46 AM)

My story begins in mid-August. Kevin and I started joking and flirting on the message board. We met in early September. He told me that he wanted a relationship and that distance was not an obstacle. Things were going well with us. I visited his geography and met his children.

In mid to late October he began to distance himself from me, yet he continued to call me. His behavior was confusing to me and I tried to get him to tell me what was going on. Of course I had my suspicions, but I wanted to hear it from him. He denied there was anyone else. At this time I received a message, from an unknown person, warning me that Kevin was indeed seeing others. He denied it and told me that I was the only one. Shortly after this I rarely heard from him, the distancing behavior was at an all-time high.

A few days later, I noticed a change in his profile referring to his new slave, by her screen name. She wrote in her profile that she was “kneeling and serving him, and they were planning their future together.” What a surprise! Of course I confronted him over this. How about a courtesy email or phone call with the news? I didn’t know he was pursuing others, as we were in a relationship.

Our breakup was very ugly. I told a few people he had lied about his age. This somehow got back to his new almost-sub. He became very angry over this and was verbally abusive to me, blaming me for foiling his plans of lasting love with a girl he’d never met. During this time he urged me to date a friend of his, the entire thing felt weird to me.

After a few weeks, (when it was certain that the girl he’d never met had rejected him) he began a campaign, in earnest, to get back together with me. He posted a thread about it, in an attempt to convince me. The phone calls were starting again, and he knew that I was planning on meeting another. After much wavering, and distress, I agreed to renew our relationship.

He told me that we belonged together, that he’d always been my Master, I’d always been his slave, and that nothing had changed, that he was “just out of reach” for a short amount of time and that he’d not strayed. To him, emotional straying is not the same as physical straying. He reiterated to me that he wanted to be with me (he knew that I had a real sticking point about being valued and wanted). I admitted to him that I did miss him and our times together. He told me he loved me, and cared for me. Yes, he did use the word “love” on more than one occasion. And he even mentioned it in a thread he wrote (about girl4you2, although at the time I didn’t know it was about her, it just left me confused as to his motives, because we’d reconciled a few weeks earlier) http://www.collarchat.com/m_232199/mpage_1/key_new%2Cyork%2Cminute/tm.htm “I do love my pet Katy!”

Our last weekend together, in early January, was a good one and he presented me with a necklace (not a collar, I don’t want to give the wrong impression because at no point did I beg him for a collar, as I saw our relationship as something we were building together). I went home a happy girl with a present.

One week later I noticed he was flirting in earnest with another on the message board and I confronted him. He told me I was “paranoid” and had “nothing to worry about”. But that gut ache was going on. A few days later I noticed this thread where she admitting her love for him although they’d not yet met (sound familiar?). I confronted him again and it was then that he fully disclosed to me that he was planning on meeting a girl and that he’d been seeking the entire time, although he’d given me the firm impression that we were building a relationship and bonding.

He was surprised that I found this disrespectful and distasteful. He told me that we could still be together (no thanks), and once again, he apologized for hurting me. He scattered a few phone calls my way (which I ignored), pm’s and emails in which he felt that I should come to his defense in this thread. For reasons which should be obvious to everyone, I ignored this request.





happypervert -> PREDATOR ALERT!!! (1/20/2006 9:58:57 AM)

quote:

he asked to borrow $13,000 to pay off his credit card debt. i was floored. shortly after i didn't send the money, he broke things off with me.

What a nice guy!

And now that he's found himself a nice new widow lady he probably thinks she's got some insurance money he can get his grubby hands on. Lord help her if she doesn't wise up.

So now we've got him two-timing these girls while working on the 25 year old -- I'd bet there are others he was hitting on then and is again now that he is similarly "devoted" to his new girl.

These long distance relationships are conveneint for juggling them -- alternate weekends. Looks like everything he says is based on either outright lies or just a poor grip on reality, but we can be sure he'll try and lie his way out of this.



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: PREDATOR ALERT!!! (1/20/2006 10:24:42 AM)

And they say big women with self esteem problems get into this lifestyle because they can't get any in vanilla!.....
I'd love to say I'm shocked, but I'm not that good a liar.

I'm very sorry Irishmist to enter your thread this late with negative comments, but from the moment I saw it something didn't feel right (I'm not throwing stones I hope you know since my sensitivity doesn't work as well when I'm being taken).. I wish you well. [:(] M



Nendarye -> RE: PREDATOR ALERT!!! (1/20/2006 10:32:08 AM)

Well...well shit...not much else I can say right now...except that Misty has not read this yet, she has pretty much stayed away from the thread once it started to take a bad turn. Though, I am going to say that I stuck my nose in her business and told her she HAD to read it. She's my best friend in world, and no one wants her happiness more than me, but even I have limits. I will not comment on what was actually said, simply because I don't know enough about the parties involved. But I do know this, she will make the right decision in the end, no matter what that decision may be. If she is one thing, it's stubborn to a fault when she needs to be. LOL her late husband taught her that.



DesertRat -> RE: PREDATOR ALERT!!! (1/20/2006 11:32:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nendarye

Well...well shit...not much else I can say right now...except that Misty has not read this yet, she has pretty much stayed away from the thread once it started to take a bad turn. Though, I am going to say that I stuck my nose in her business and told her she HAD to read it. She's my best friend in world, and no one wants her happiness more than me, but even I have limits. I will not comment on what was actually said, simply because I don't know enough about the parties involved. But I do know this, she will make the right decision in the end, no matter what that decision may be. If she is one thing, it's stubborn to a fault when she needs to be. LOL her late husband taught her that.


I hope she will read it and take heed.

Bob



sub4hire -> RE: PREDATOR ALERT!!! (1/20/2006 11:37:12 AM)

quote:

I hope she will read it and take heed.


Maybe it is time to take this thread where I was trying to take it yesterday.
What are the sign's to look for? The smartest can be duped. There were signs,
I saw them just from actually reading the post's on this board. Read his website, more signs.

To me, it isn't about him. It is about predator's in general. This one is over. Nothing anybody can do now but teach others not to fall for the same routine they have fallen for.




LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Predator? (1/20/2006 11:51:06 AM)

Well I have to say this is the most thorough and yet sensible outing of drama I've ever seen on a weblist. Usually it's all spewing and bile and anger and resentment. You guys are being amazingly clear headed and calm about it all, very sensible and responsible for your own actions. Kudos.

Since I haven't talked to anyone involved in any of this other than what's been posted publicly, my perspective is different.

I always wondered why Kevin did not get more active in the local scene, seeing as how it's one of the largest and most active in the nation and certainly closer than all the people he was jaunting off to see.

So answer Sub4Hires post- that is something that makes a ping in my head. No, you don't have to go to meetings and parties every month like I do. But there should be a good sensible reason for it.

I noticed months ago that Katy and Kevin were flirting heavily and teasing eachother on the boards and assumed they were at least somewhat getting involved with eachother. Then I saw him flirting with others and going on about how amazing this CA person was and figured Katy/Kevin had not come to fruition, was just playful all along, or had gone sour.

Then Kevin backed off for awhile and occasionally came out with a flirt to someone here or there. Then he began doing something VERY out of character. He not only posted logical responses to topics, he actually started his own. For someone who universally only makes cutesy wannabe funny short lines postings, this was quite a derivation of form.

Also interesting was the nature of the threads Kevin started- asking about forgiveness for mistakes, rebuilding past trust problems and the like. I surmised that Kevin must have been in the doghouse with someone and trying to show measure of remorse and/or get support for his own feelings.

However, that's about all I know and most of it was intuition, keeping track and assumptions. I had no idea who specifically was involved, all the other nasty background stuff and the true nature of the deception. Even in this thread I could only have guessed. I love when people out themselves.

And again in answer to Sub4Hire, the fact that Kevin NEVER posted anything other than silly posts was a sign to me- good social skills and adaptation is important for me. It was obvious that Kevin either was not able to, or chose not to function beyond that level. I need someone with more depth.



fastlane -> RE: PREDATOR ALERT!!! (1/20/2006 12:02:00 PM)

I am not a predator! Geesh People, this is a witch hunt! "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned", and I have scorned two. I apologized privately, I apologized Publicly, what else can I do? Everything that Katy and sub4 are saying is true, but there is another side.
First off the reference to me asking for mucho money seems to be put in it's proper context. She came into a large settlement, I was trying to consolidate my bills and she was seeing me. We had talked about me borrowing, how I would pay her back the time frame.....everything. I would have saved me interest and she would have been paid in full. Sub4, you know that. I own my house, I raise two sons, and I have been with the same company for 18 years. I was not going to rip her off!
Yes, I gave Katy a bracelet the first week in Jan. My words when I gave it to her were this "If we go our seperate ways promise me you will keep it. I don't want you to send it back to me. Promise!" She did. Now, why would I make a statement like that when I give a gift to someone? Because I knew I did not love her, but I am terrible at breaking up......obviously by this thread, everyone now knows that.
As for both of them, I told them both I had fallen for a younger woman in another state. We had talked for over a month and she was to come visit me. If she was who I thought and what I though she was, I was going to have her move in with me. Yes she was 25 and she thought I was 44. Am I the only person to lie about my age here? Katy caught wind and sent info to a friend, who forwarded it to her. She confronted me and I told her the truth and changed my profile to reflect my real age.....YES I AM 52 God, I hate saying that....but it goes back to playing competitive baseball with younger team mates. Katy knows this too. Anyway, that meeting got pushed back and eventually I was to fly to her. Well, guess what happened. She never showed up to pick me up at the airport! I have never met her to this day and flew back home shaken. My Ego was smashed, my heart was broken and I was lonely. I called both Sub4 and Katy to try and patch things up. Katy agreed, Sub4 did not. All of those Dumb Dom threads and Second Chance threads were really Sub4 and me communicating in code.
Katy and I began seeing each other again. I did not think I would hurt her again and I am sorry.....I can't say it any more clearly.....I am sorry.
I know what I did was wrong....foolish....stupid....mean....and immature. Please people, what else can I do?
I began to chat with IrishMist and we hit it off immediately. We e mail and talk daily and I have found myself falling for her like no one I've ever known. We have both been alone for ten years and we now talk about our lives together. I have told her everything that she is reading here.
I know how I sound when I read Katy and Sub4's accounts of me.....I was a scumbag with them, but I wanted to be able to play with them both and I enjoyed them both. Selfish....yes.... I don't think I'm the first though nor will I be the lasts and probably many have multiple partners that are reading this? I dunno, I'm just saying it was happening because I was not in Love with them. That's the operative word here. There is a hell of a big difference in telling someone "I love you", and actually being in love with them and meaning it. You are about to reach orgasm..."I love you" Next day...WTF did I say? Uh Oh, Hope she was drunk and didn't remember.
I am not a predator people, I made a mistake and I'm paying through this public outcry and name calling. It makes my stomach hurt and my heart race when I read this stuff and stand by idly as I recieve hate mail from people I don't even know. I've been on CM for about two years and I think many of the people know me by now and know I am not a predator.
I don't want this to continue as a tit for tat, he said, she said. You have the whole story and can think of me as you wish. The only person who's opinion matters to me is IrishMist. I want to collar her, I want to Marry her and I want to live the rest of my life with her. I know this! I could never say this to Katy, but I still enjoyed being with her and I hate the fact that I did hurt her.
Irish, I am so sorry that you are made to be a victim like me, by my ebarrassment here.
I will promise this will never happen again and that I will love, protect and take care of you forever, if I'm given the opportunity.
Now, I beg the rest of you to judge as you will, but allow us to move forward with our lives......Please.

Peace, Kevin



sub4hire -> RE: PREDATOR ALERT!!! (1/20/2006 12:07:47 PM)

quote:

Everything that Katy and sub4 are saying is true


Just for clarity sake here. Sub4 is not me. I am merely a friend of katy's and have been through this stuff with her since December.
Sadly, I have seen people coming out of the woodwork since this thread was started though.



LaMalinche -> RE: PREDATOR ALERT!!! (1/20/2006 12:15:54 PM)

I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that fastlane will be a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that he will equally serve in a fricassee or a ragout.

Fastlane will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends; and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter.

I say the man has been well and truely BBQ'd, flamed, roasted over the coals. . . whatever.

Now, who wants dessert? We are having chocolate-amaretto fondue for afters.

LaMalinche

Where I am not understood, it shall be concluded that something very useful and profound is couched underneath.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: PREDATOR ALERT!!! (1/20/2006 12:21:31 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane
Geesh People, this is a witch hunt!

I dunno about that. If anything, this thread has proven that you're excellent at long distance seduction. That's a lot better than most guys trying.



DesertRat -> RE: PREDATOR ALERT!!! (1/20/2006 12:29:04 PM)

I just want to point out that a lion does not walk around thinking "I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a predator." It just is.

The distinction over saying "I love you...", while thinking "...but I'm not in love with you" is not an excuse for dishonesty. Dropping hints and assuming the other person has deciphered the code is lame. So is the "I was drunk" line. Absolutely clear communication is what I shoot for in a relationship. I actually make a conscious effort to achieve that. Not saying I am perfect, but I make the effort to fully understand and be fully understood because I have learned from others and from experience that it is very important.

Arguing a lack of self-control as a defense is not something I would expect from someone who claims to be a master or a dominant man.

These are my views. I don't pretend to have cornered the market on virtue.

Bob



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