Dastan
Posts: 148
Joined: 12/13/2008
From: Barranquilla city, Colombia
Status: offline
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if I may contribute....as a man, I know not the why but most likely the what for of why we take humiliation and pain. They are two separate things.
Nobody knows the whys, as I'd identify them with deep psychological triggers inbedded in a person's psychic construct of self, his image of what or who he is and how does he act or respond through it (his "role" or "character" in life, which may be more than 1 on every person) but I'd say these are based on his infancy and tenneage years or puberty, when his "wiring" for the psycho-sexual "program" running on his mind was first created.
It is the "What For" is what matters to us. As men, it's the same as why someone climbs the Everest instead of just taking a helicopter to land on the top: it's the hardship endured what spices up the flavor of victory when you reach the top. A man values his own worth by the achievements he has and each one is significant in its own worth and right when measured up by its difficulty. So to us, enduring pain and humiliation is somehow a way to "earn" the pleasure we wish to find, and also, it's a way to let our minds, which are more primal than a Lady's mind, slide down into deeper parts of our inner self and access subspace or to experience the play scene's sensory input, physical and mental, deeper and stronger than in other ways.
Some men just want the play's sensory input. As a friend of mine used to say "I want to buy the eggs, not to own the chicken" and this can be the basis why some Dommes say some subs are just "bottoms" or "fetish kinksters" but not committed submissives. And it's why for most men, it is purely sexual, it's just a way to scratch an itch and get the right rub they need to get their rocks off. But for others like me, it isn't really that much special. I don't get nothing out of humiliation play except to get angry, and bad, when someone takes the play serious enough to actually sound as if she meant it when she insulted me or called me "worthless f.." because I strive, as my culture teaches us, to be better every day, and better than everyone else I can surpass. Otherwise, if she wants me to dress up as a sissy maid and act feminine and dust the house with the feather duster plugged up my ass as she laughs when i dance the Macarena, it's her thing, I am happy to make her happy as long as she doesn't cross the line between enjoying a humiliation play or make-believe scene and really humiliating me to enjoy herself, for I'd think she does't value me as a person.
Pain is also easy for us. Not because we want to die like Christian martyrs whippede or caned to death or torn apart by horses or dogs, but because it is a powerful stimulus. I box, and when i get inside a ring, I surf the adrenaline wave of pain and violence, and yes, if you ever wonder why boxers don't seem to cover up much sometimes, it's because the punches landed by the other guy spur us like a kentucky derby horse in the final lap's last furlong to run to the finish line and win the race, so we absorb the power and redirect it, as motivator and catalyst at the same time.
But of course, that's my point of view. men of your culture may feel different and use pain and humiliation as a way to "earn" the favors received as part of some guilt-ridden complex regarding sex and psychological release and they use the penance to justify the sin, so to speak.
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Power without Purpose is the same as an Artist without a Brush
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RE: Why humiliation and pain? - 
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