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Would you be offended or appreciative? - 2/10/2009 8:56:11 PM   
unfaithed


Posts: 43
Joined: 5/21/2008
Status: offline 		As a gift to my Valentine this year, I wanted to give him something he'd really appreciate. He has to get up very early in the morning, usually works 10 hour days with another hour spent in the car, so till he gets home at night, he is very tired.  On the weekends either we're spending time together or he is just enjoying his down time.  His apartment though, continues to get dirtier and messier. I know how frustrating it can be for such things to build and build until it seems almost insurmountable and you just don't know where to start. I happen to have the day off on Friday, but he has to work. I thought it would be a nice gesture to take care of this for him while he's away so he can finally come home to a nice, clean apartment without feeling like he has so much to do and not enough time. I realized though that there is a possibility he could take offense to this. I don't want him to think that I find his living space so unbearable that I had to do it myself. I honestly just want to help him, and thought this would be a great way to show him how much I care about him instead of some lame gift.

How would you feel in this situation?

All responses are greatly appreciated! :o)
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RE: Would you be offended or appreciative? - 2/10/2009 8:57:55 PM   
aravain


Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline 		Annoyed.

I'd rather live in a dirty situation than have someone move all my stuff around (especially since I have strange systems for putting things places that don't make sense).

How would he react?

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RE: Would you be offended or appreciative? - 2/10/2009 9:02:31 PM   
Huntertn


Posts: 715
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline 		what the hell...put a bow on the door and say I hope you like all the time I put into this...[sing your name here]..lol..myself, I love it

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RE: Would you be offended or appreciative? - 2/10/2009 9:05:29 PM   
MarksFantasyGirl


Posts: 3660
Joined: 10/13/2005
Status: offline 		My Sweets had a VERY messy bedroom.  He kept telling me that it was fine, that He didn't mind it... But I did. lol  He had an empty dresser, and all His clean clothes on a pile in the corner.  Well, one day, I kept telling Him I was going to clean it, and He kept arguing with me, telling me that it was fine.  Well, I did it anyways.  I was completely bored while He was at work, and I cleaned the whole room.  I thought He'd be mad, but He kept telling me how good of a job I did.  I think He was really impressed.  (I even made Him move the dresser and things so I could sweep behind it!) I made sure to tell Him where everything was that I moved, and that I didn't throw away anything I thought He might need.  He even took the garbage out for me when He got home! :)  But that's just My man.... I don't know about yours.  lol

If He complains about how it's dirty, or that He wishes He had time to clean, I think it would be a great idea.  I think every guy really just wants someone to clean FOR them. lol

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RE: Would you be offended or appreciative? - 2/10/2009 9:11:43 PM   
Vendaval


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Status: offline 		Hello unfaithed,
 
His response could go either way, I highly suggest asking before doing.  Maybe get him tickets for a night out or a gift certificate for his favorite store instead.

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RE: Would you be offended or appreciative? - 2/10/2009 9:19:40 PM   
Kirata


Posts: 15477
Joined: 2/11/2006
From: USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: unfaithed

How would you feel in this situation?

Me personally, delighted. But, aside from perhaps nicely ordering his dresser drawers, don't do any reorganizing. He probably knows exactly where everything is and would be driven crazy by not being able to find things when he wants them. Just clean. Just clean.
 
K.
 

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RE: Would you be offended or appreciative? - 2/10/2009 9:50:01 PM   
NJfunCPL


Posts: 1
Joined: 10/16/2008
Status: offline 		I think its a great idea...nothing nicer to come home to a clean, organized living space/apartment/house after a long day of work...I myself get in bad habits sometimes of not putting away dishes, etc or having piles of clothes around, etc...I used to not be like that but most days I want to get home to unwind not to clean. Be careful about "legal" documents not to misplace them or to move stuff you know he is very sensitive about (say like in my case a coinc ollection). Its a great gesture and men do not mind at all...we like it when our women clean our home, because we know they do it out of love...its all on the attitude. If you tell your man that his place was "unbearable" or "how can you live like a pig, bla bla" then he will resent it. If you tell him it was no trouble at all and wanted to give him some time to actually relax and not worry...I am sure he will be happy...end that with some nice outfit, maybe just a red ribbon as you wait for him, and some loving and he will be pleased.

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RE: Would you be offended or appreciative? - 2/10/2009 9:57:29 PM   
aravain


Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NJfunCPL
nothing nicer to come home to a clean, organized living space/apartment/house after a long day of work...


I feel the *exact* opposite on this issue. I would much rather come home to a more 'lived in' space than one that's clean. After I clean I will usually purposefully do something to 'dirty up' the room to make sure that I don't feel uncomfortable when I get home.

When I come home to a clean space it feels sterile, bad. If *something* isn't 'out of place' I'll be uncomfortable in my own home.

Not necessarily saying that the OP's valentine will be, but there *ARE* others who feel this way.

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RE: Would you be offended or appreciative? - 2/10/2009 10:21:41 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I would be annoyed but flabbergasted, Annoyed because Daddy doesn't put things where I think they belong,  so then I have no clue where anything is and constantly have to ask where is,, and what did you do with..... and he doesn't pay attention to what he's throwing away, and in the past has thrown away stuff that wasn't trash and was important to me.

Now if he was trust able not to do that, then I'd be thrilled.
quote:

ORIGINAL: unfaithed

As a gift to my Valentine this year, I wanted to give him something he'd really appreciate. He has to get up very early in the morning, usually works 10 hour days with another hour spent in the car, so till he gets home at night, he is very tired.  On the weekends either we're spending time together or he is just enjoying his down time.  His apartment though, continues to get dirtier and messier. I know how frustrating it can be for such things to build and build until it seems almost insurmountable and you just don't know where to start. I happen to have the day off on Friday, but he has to work. I thought it would be a nice gesture to take care of this for him while he's away so he can finally come home to a nice, clean apartment without feeling like he has so much to do and not enough time. I realized though that there is a possibility he could take offense to this. I don't want him to think that I find his living space so unbearable that I had to do it myself. I honestly just want to help him, and thought this would be a great way to show him how much I care about him instead of some lame gift.

How would you feel in this situation?

All responses are greatly appreciated! :o)


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RE: Would you be offended or appreciative? - 2/11/2009 1:04:55 AM   
hizgeorgiapeach


Posts: 1672
Status: offline 		I would definately be flattered - I hate doing housework and only spend time on it because it's a Necessity.  If I trust someone enough to give 'em a key, then it's likely I don't have secrets/privacy issues where they're concerned anyway - and what concerns I Do have about such I've already talked to them about.  Both of the people who have a key to my place (other than myself) have been friends and hung out with me long enough to know what my "personal" system is for putting things away when I do the cleaning myself - so I wouldn't have to worry about not being able to find something.
 
My last ex was exactly the opposite, even when we were living in the same house.  If he left something laying around, he got pissy if I happened to clean the house and move whatever it was he left laying - even if it was Garbage - and at the same time would complain that I wasn't cleaning frequently Enough if I did Not put things away and pick up after him as though he were 2 and didn't know any better.

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RE: Would you be offended or appreciative? - 2/11/2009 3:00:31 AM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		If you have never done it before without him there, i would ask.  Or if you have mentioned cleaning his house on your own before and he has seem reluctant to let you do so etc.  There is nothing more squicky than coming home and realize someone spent all day pretty much going through your personal space.  Yes its a nice gester, but you are talking about dealing with a person's personal space.  It could go either way.

You also if you don't ask if he does get offended or upset, you can't then get mad at him because he doesn't "appreciate" what you did. Many women would get upset or feel hurt if they did this and  the guy wasn't appropriately pleased or appreciative or out and out gets mad or upset with you for invading his personal space without asking.

angel

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RE: Would you be offended or appreciative? - 2/11/2009 3:29:32 AM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline 		I would say that, if he leaves you at home when he goes to work, trusts your going through his stuff, and you will remember where you put EVERYTHING when he asks, than do it.    If there is a no to any of the above, he might get annoyed and feel like you were trying to go through his things.    M

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RE: Would you be offended or appreciative? - 2/11/2009 4:59:54 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I would tell my male sub to go for it, just not to throw anything away until I have looked it over to make sure that it is trash. I love it when he cleans because I just do not have the time for it. In your case you may want to forewarn him and see how he reacts to it. If he likes the idea then clean away and meet him at the door nekkid wearing only a red bow 

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RE: Would you be offended or appreciative? - 2/11/2009 5:03:43 AM   
unfaithed


Posts: 43
Joined: 5/21/2008
Status: offline 		It is my goal in cleaning the apartment to not move anything or try to reorganize, but just clean. Get rid of the pile of dishes in the sink. Wash up the rest of his dirty clothes, fold them and put them where they belong (not the floor). Cleaning/disinfecting the bathroom and kitchen, and then vacuuming the floors. I won't be throwing anything away unless I know it is garbage, and luckily he doesn't have too much of that lying around. I've already surprised him with doing the dishes once, and he was elated.

I definitely understand the organized mess system, and I don't want to ruin that. I have the same system at home, lol, and even when I clean up for myself if I move anything of importance it usually takes me a little while to remember its new home. The main goal is to "just clean" as someone said earlier, rather than re-organize.

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RE: Would you be offended or appreciative? - 2/11/2009 5:57:35 AM   
MichiganHeadmast


Posts: 726
Joined: 8/13/2006
Status: offline 		Appreciative, long as  nothing gets thrown out without my consent.

Edited to add, long as my spanking instruments don't get hidden.


< Message edited by MichiganHeadmast -- 2/11/2009 5:58:27 AM >

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RE: Would you be offended or appreciative? - 2/11/2009 6:08:39 AM   
Marc2b


Posts: 6660
Joined: 8/7/2006
Status: offline 		I can’t imagine any man being offended by a woman cleaning his living space – what a great appeal to the politically incorrect but all too human male instincts (hell, to me, that’s half the appeal in being in a dom/sub relationship).  Just be careful with what you throw out.  One person’s piece of trash is another person’s sentimental keepsake.

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RE: Would you be offended or appreciative? - 2/11/2009 8:12:51 AM   
Coldwarrior57


Posts: 297
Joined: 12/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: unfaithed

As a gift to my Valentine this year, I wanted to give him something he'd really appreciate. He has to get up very early in the morning, usually works 10 hour days with another hour spent in the car, so till he gets home at night, he is very tired.  On the weekends either we're spending time together or he is just enjoying his down time.  His apartment though, continues to get dirtier and messier. I know how frustrating it can be for such things to build and build until it seems almost insurmountable and you just don't know where to start. I happen to have the day off on Friday, but he has to work. I thought it would be a nice gesture to take care of this for him while he's away so he can finally come home to a nice, clean apartment without feeling like he has so much to do and not enough time. I realized though that there is a possibility he could take offense to this. I don't want him to think that I find his living space so unbearable that I had to do it myself. I honestly just want to help him, and thought this would be a great way to show him how much I care about him instead of some lame gift.

How would you feel in this situation?

All responses are greatly appreciated! :o)

Good Q.
if you get into the apt. I would preface it with "  I have a suprise for you when you get home"
that way he knows there is something afoot. then clean it , prepair a nice meal for him, wear a cute outfit , may work out well.


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RE: Would you be offended or appreciative? - 2/11/2009 9:32:33 AM   
wulfgarw


Posts: 752
Joined: 3/18/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: unfaithed

As a gift to my Valentine this year, I wanted to give him something he'd really appreciate. He has to get up very early in the morning, usually works 10 hour days with another hour spent in the car, so till he gets home at night, he is very tired.  On the weekends either we're spending time together or he is just enjoying his down time.  His apartment though, continues to get dirtier and messier. I know how frustrating it can be for such things to build and build until it seems almost insurmountable and you just don't know where to start. I happen to have the day off on Friday, but he has to work. I thought it would be a nice gesture to take care of this for him while he's away so he can finally come home to a nice, clean apartment without feeling like he has so much to do and not enough time. I realized though that there is a possibility he could take offense to this. I don't want him to think that I find his living space so unbearable that I had to do it myself. I honestly just want to help him, and thought this would be a great way to show him how much I care about him instead of some lame gift.

How would you feel in this situation?

All responses are greatly appreciated! :o)



I, myself, would be appreciative.  I tend to try to clean it myself, but sometimes life on the road gets in the way.  But then, I've been accused of being a cleanfreak.  So I will echo what others have said, don't reorganize unless you know somethings out of place, don't throw things out until he's had a chance to look at it unless it's obviously garbage, and let him know somethings afoot beforehand.

And maybe as a bonus, he comes home to find you kneeling near the door in your cuffs / restraints / whatnot with his fave drink, and nuthin' else save a smile...


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RE: Would you be offended or appreciative? - 2/11/2009 9:50:08 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I'd give him a choice.  I would make up a coupon book with different things he could use.  Cleaning, the dishes, a massage... that type of thing.  Then make it a part of the deal, that it is his choice and he can choose a certain number of the coupon's to use.  If cleaning his apartment is important to him, he can use those... if you think the massage and all that is more important and he would choose them over having the apartment cleaned, which is still important to him... you could combine some of the coupons to include... dishes done and a massage.

I have surprised people way back when... in cleaning.  Most acted happy, but I could tell they were looking around for their stuff... some were quite upset and some... didn't care so much, but were glad someone else did it.  I would make it his choice and not a surprise.  The surprise could come once he decides and you put a lil bow on yourself.

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RE: Would you be offended or appreciative? - 2/11/2009 9:55:14 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

I'd give him a choice. I would make up a coupon book with different things he could use. Cleaning, the dishes, a massage... that type of thing.


I agree with this idea.

If someone came into my home and starting cleaning without my permission, i personally would feel viotated. YMMV


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