RE: Dom/Domme couple bringing in a sub and all that goes with it

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Dom/Domme couple bringing in a sub and all that goes with it

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RE: Dom/Domme couple bringing in a sub and all that goe... - 2/11/2009 2:47:43 PM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
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quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

This is about a Dom/Domme couple taking on a female submissive.
Do you do the looking together? or does the female partner have the bigger input?

Yes, we look together, but ours is a female led household and I'm in charge. Therefore, I do most of the looking, but he gets to say "yes," "no," or "maybe" to anyone who gets my attention well enough to ask his opinion. Most of the subs don't make it that far. I'm extremely selective.

quote:

To the female in the relationship
As a female would you be happy about taking on a younger, prettier sub who primarily in her profile is looking for a man but would consider a couple?
Have you been there, done that and found it to be threatening because she is sending him all the text messages and looks into his eyes far more submissively than when she looks into yours?

I'd be thrilled with a younger sub since that's the only type of sub that interests me. I'm 38, and most of the subs my age are physically unappealing to me. Forget about older. However, since she'd be mostly mine, we limit the search to women who are either looking for couples or female dominant.

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RE: Dom/Domme couple bringing in a sub and all that goe... - 2/11/2009 6:38:20 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I can't see how it would matter if it were Dom/Domme or dom/sub or dom/sub/sub. Or any other permutation. Any time you are adding someone new to an existing relationship, all the existing parties must be happy with the new person. All of the existing parties must have veto power.

Anything other than this and the existing relationship is unlikely to last. So if the new sub is all over him and ignores you, you need to use your veto power and say she is not acceptable. If a new sub is all over you and ignores him, same deal. Either everyone is happy or no one will be.

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RE: Dom/Domme couple bringing in a sub and all that goe... - 2/11/2009 10:03:22 PM

Maya2001

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline

quote:

a friend of mine I am chatting to at the moment who's man has gone out (not my man ) and found them a submissive to share. To this point she has had no input. Because they are very much like Steve and me (equal status Dom/Domme couple)

if she is equal and had no input ..I see a big problem already before even a sub is added to the mix

< Message edited by Maya2001 -- 2/11/2009 10:04:06 PM >

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RE: Dom/Domme couple bringing in a sub and all that goe... - 2/12/2009 5:58:29 AM

ScooterTrash

Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

I'm very secure in my relationship with my husband and am not concerned about him finding a replacement for me... I am, after all, irreplacable. Really... just ask him.

I have to back this up completely, actually no member of my family is replaceable for that matter. I feel anyone entering into a poly relationship that has misgivings or thoughts of anyone being pushed aside or replaced, is simply not ready for poly. It's not about replacement or anyone being better than the other, it's the total mix as a whole being better as a group. As we readily mention to anyone with raised eyebrows, we aren't a couple, we are a few.

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Post #: 24