He's just not that into you........loving it !!

He's just not that into you........loving it !! (Full Version)

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missturbation -> He's just not that into you........loving it !! (2/11/2009 8:28:45 AM)
Ok i was going to put this in polls and random stupidity but i decided here was better as i'm actually quite serious about this and didn't want to make a joke out of it. I think most, women at least will have seen the episode or been told about the episode of sex and the city where burger (sp) enlightens the girls about 'he's just not that into you'. Well it seems to have become a bit of a phenomenon (sp), theres a book based on it and even a film!! Anyhoo i've bought the book, thought it would be a bit of a giggle to be honest. I have laughed at some of it, i'm only five chapters in but to my surprise i've also found that i'm going 'omg i didn't see that at the time' or 'omg that is so true'. Now don't get me wrong i'm not saying that there are not exceptions to every rule, i'm not saying that is the bible of understanding men and i'm certainly not suggesting that you should live your life by it's words of 'wisdom'. What i am saying is that i think it makes some very good points and is definately worth a read by the ladies and possibly even the men. Who knows you males out there might learn something to lol. It starts with 'if he's not asking you out'. Apparently when we are thinking he's just worried about ruining a friendship, he's intimidated by us, he wants to take it slow or he gave us his number so he must be into us we've probably got it all wrong. The authors did a survey and most of their male friends who were in serious long term relationships had done the asking out. Men apparently like to be the pursuer in general and if they ain't persuing well they just aren't that into you !! If he's not calling you. 100% of men polled said they've never been too busy to call a woman they were really into. I don't know about the rest of you but i've heard the 'i'm sorry i haven't called / been round because i've been busy excuse so many times. If he's not dating you. You think he has a fear of intmacy, you think he's scared of commitment, he's busy a lot so commitment is difficult etc etc. To quote the book '100% of guys polled said 'a fear of intimacy' has never stopped them from getting into relationship. One guy said 'fear of intimacy is an urban myth'. Anothe guy said 'thats just what we say to girls when we're just not that into them'. If he's not having sex with you. 'Twenty of the twenty men polled said, without hesitation that they have never been really into a woman they didn't want to have sex with.' So if he doesn't touch you, doesn't appear sexually interested in you chances are that he's just not that into you'. Perhaps !! [:D] If he's having sex with someone else (non consensually). '100% of guys polled said they have never accidentally slept with anyone'. I don't know about you lot but i've heard 'i didn't mean to do it', 'it was an accident' etc etc. So hmm his dick accidently slipped inside her vagina? I don't think so. Whether we want to accept it or not there is always some premeditation to sex, even if it's only 30 seconds worth. That's as far as i've got so far but i'm sure i'll pop out with some more 'pearls of wisdom' as i read on. One thing i was thinking though was that i see some of this apparently 'guy' behaviour in me so maybe it should be 'he / she is just not that into you' !!

LadyHibiscus -> RE: He's just not that into you........loving it !! (2/11/2009 8:35:55 AM)
This is so funny! Especially the accidental sex bit... [:D]

chiaThePet -> RE: He's just not that into you........loving it !! (2/11/2009 8:36:16 AM)
Oh, thought this was about men with small cocks. Never mind. chia* (the pet)

CalifChick -> RE: He's just not that into you........loving it !! (2/11/2009 8:37:06 AM)
I read the book awhile back, couple of years ago maybe. I let my teen daughter read it too. It's amazing the things we can rationalize away if we really want to. Cali

missturbation -> RE: He's just not that into you........loving it !! (2/11/2009 8:39:21 AM)
Do you think it's pure bullshit or is there something in what the authors say? I'm thinking most of it so far fits for me but is that just cos i want to rationalise it and put it away in a neat compartment? I don't know shrugs

Cagey18 -> RE: He's just not that into you........loving it !! (2/11/2009 8:39:56 AM)
quote: his dick accidently slipped inside her vagina? "Whoa! Now how did that get in there? Color me embarrassed..."

missturbation -> RE: He's just not that into you........loving it !! (2/11/2009 8:40:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus This is so funny! Especially the accidental sex bit... [:D] Yup and yet slightly sobering for those of us or me lol who has accepted 'it was an accident' as a valid reason in the past.

LadyConstanze -> RE: He's just not that into you........loving it !! (2/11/2009 8:41:26 AM)
I feel really really old now, but a whole book and a movie for something most women figure out during puberty? I think it is not so much that women don't know that he's not "really into you", they just don't want to see in a lot of cases, as stupid as it sounds, the easier you make it for him to contact you, the less he's usually into you (hey, if you are available for him all the time, it doesn't take much effort on his behalf), and heck, if he can't be bothered to call you, move on, sitting by the phone is not going to make him call you, we got mobiles and answering machines, unless he's terribly afraid of tech (then he won't touch a phone anyway) he can reach you, he just has to try a bit harder, but if he IS really into you, he will.

Lucylastic -> RE: He's just not that into you........loving it !! (2/11/2009 8:42:54 AM)
snorting wildly at Chia, thanks for that, lol Lucy to Miss...havent read it, yet but have it on my to do list

cjan -> RE: He's just not that into you........loving it !! (2/11/2009 8:50:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chiaThePet Oh, thought this was about men with small cocks. Never mind. chia* (the pet) Dammit, chia ! We need a "cleaning the snorted matter off my screen" emoticon ! Along that line, here's an e-harmony rejection notice. http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=b366c6e964&view=att&th=11f4872d62029c7d&attid=0.1&disp=inline&realattid=0.1&zw

missturbation -> RE: He's just not that into you........loving it !! (2/11/2009 8:50:25 AM)
quote: I feel really really old now, but a whole book and a movie for something most women figure out during puberty? That's just it though, i don't believe MOST women do figure this stuff out half the time.

LadyConstanze -> RE: He's just not that into you........loving it !! (2/11/2009 8:54:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: missturbation quote: I feel really really old now, but a whole book and a movie for something most women figure out during puberty? That's just it though, i don't believe MOST women do figure this stuff out half the time. I think we do, it's just that we don't want to see it and because we are brought up to be non-confrontational, I had some issues in my early teens when I was basically making excuses why a guy wouldn't call me despite the fact that he said he would, then got really angry, disappointed puppy love and all that, behaved a bit like a bitch, made them jump through hoops and instead of ignoring me they were all of a sudden super keen. So I figured it's an odd, really messed up world.

KyttynTheMynx -> RE: He's just not that into you........loving it !! (2/11/2009 8:59:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze I feel really really old now, but a whole book and a movie for something most women figure out during puberty? Truth is, most women are too blinded to figure that out. For instance, I am friends with a girl I will call "Lucy". "Lucy" and "Mike" dated about a year ago. Things were good. Then they split up. Now, she is trying to get back into his life, but doesnt see all the signs that He Isnt Into Her. He never calls her, never answers her calls, leaves the room when she enters and disappears long enough till he thinks shes gone, and well, just in general avoids her, and talk about her (although, the things he says ARENT fabricated...). She thinks he is playing hard to get. He has moved on, and is in greener pastures. She is plotting, scheming, and clawing her way not into his life, but into a big hard reality. Yes, this is a true account. The names were changed to protect the stupid and harassed. lol

domiguy -> RE: He's just not that into you........loving it !! (2/11/2009 9:03:56 AM)
Most people don't have this kind of shit figured out. This is the beauty of the cell phone. I have often told my friends, with and without desirable holes, how to proceed when dating. Only put numbers in cell phones. once they are in the phone discard the number immediately. Never memorize the number as it will only be pulled up by "name' in your phone. If someone doesn't return your calls, is not properly responsive or you are only getting a half assed vibe from them...Delete their number immediately. This way there is no weakness, no turning back, no placing calls that should have never been made in the first place. They are dead to you, just as they should be. We at Domiguy Industries having been at the forefront of cutting edge dating techniques for over two decades. This one is a freebie. Any other tried and proven dating techniques can be yours for three easy payments of $29.99. Don't dilly dally, sucess in romance can be yours for less than one hundred dollars!!!!

KatyLied -> RE: He's just not that into you........loving it !! (2/11/2009 9:04:16 AM)
Another good book is "The Rules". I don't believe every word of it, but there is some merit in allowing the men to do some work. [:D]

FullCircle -> RE: He's just not that into you........loving it !! (2/11/2009 9:08:34 AM)
Just remember knowledge can be used for evil by both sides. If someone thinks they have the right answer, chances are they've been lead to it by someone reading the same book but for other reasons.

RealityLicks -> RE: He's just not that into you........loving it !! (2/11/2009 9:08:48 AM)
I've not read this book but I hope it catches on. As a guy, if you get a knock-back you learn to accept it and move on. But if you ever knock a woman back there's just GOT to be something wrong with you! Last Summer, I spoke to someone for 20-30 mins at a party and my mate later passed my number on to her, possibly as a stupid joke. She messaged me her number, which I forgot all about... only to be called a few weeks later -- she gave me a real earful about how she was going home to Bermuda soon and I STILL hadn't called and London men are this and that etc etc. So, you wangle someone's number and suddenly they are expected to hang out with you? If you were hot, OF COURSE I would have called you! People tend to believe that others think the way they do. If you're given to agonising over asking someone out, it follows the object of your lust does the same, right? Wrong.

missturbation -> RE: He's just not that into you........loving it !! (2/11/2009 9:15:57 AM)
quote: Last Summer, I spoke to someone for 20-30 mins at a party and my mate later passed my number on to her, possibly as a stupid joke. She messaged me her number, which I forgot all about... only to be called a few weeks later -- she gave me a real earful about how she was going home to Bermuda soon and I STILL hadn't called and London men are this and that etc etc. So, you wangle someone's number and suddenly they are expected to hang out with you? If you were hot, OF COURSE I would have called you! See this is the kind of shit i'm talking about. I would have probably spent a couple of weeks wondering why he hadn't called. I wouldn't have called and gone all mentalist on his ass but i would still have wondered.

sensura -> RE: He's just not that into you........loving it !! (2/11/2009 10:01:46 AM)
Im glad I have this figured out. I used to wonder wtf went wrong and it was my fault but now I dont blame myself, I know if he is into me and when I see hes not I move on. Why waste time punishing yourself. You can tell when he is into you cause even if he has had the busiest day or is dead ass tired he takes that time even if for five mins to contact you and say I thought about you today. sensura

RCdc -> RE: He's just not that into you........loving it !! (2/11/2009 10:10:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: missturbation quote: Last Summer, I spoke to someone for 20-30 mins at a party and my mate later passed my number on to her, possibly as a stupid joke. She messaged me her number, which I forgot all about... only to be called a few weeks later -- she gave me a real earful about how she was going home to Bermuda soon and I STILL hadn't called and London men are this and that etc etc. So, you wangle someone's number and suddenly they are expected to hang out with you? If you were hot, OF COURSE I would have called you! See this is the kind of shit i'm talking about. I would have probably spent a couple of weeks wondering why he hadn't called. I wouldn't have called and gone all mentalist on his ass but i would still have wondered. But why? To me, it's a waste of time concerning myself over something like that. If someone doesn't ring when they say they would, I tend to automatically think that they are just a bit flaky. It's not a big thing and it's a waste of my time to worry about what other peoples motives are. the.dark.

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