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D/s not BDSM - 2/12/2009 10:23:08 AM

writehometomomma

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Cold someone tell me the differnt's between"D/s and BDSM"?

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RE: D/s not BDSM - 2/12/2009 10:30:00 AM

agirl

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In general.....D/s tends to be used to describe the relationship itself and bdsm tends to be the activities that the Dom and sub may or may not indulge in.

agirl

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RE: D/s not BDSM - 2/12/2009 10:30:55 AM

FelineFae

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Welcome to the message board. If you think your question may have been discussed already, there is a search button. That said, sometimes it takes a while to find what you are looking for.
D/s is short for Dom/me and submissive. It refers to roles or the act of dominance and the act of submission. BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline, and Sadism and Masochism, to include Sado-Maso. It refers to activities and personalities.

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RE: D/s not BDSM - 2/12/2009 10:39:40 AM

writehometomomma

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awww Thankyou FelineFae. D/s just shows who's in charge, and bdsm is what happens. You are so kind. i am learning. Thank You also agirl. So much to learn to become a good slave for a Mistress.

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RE: D/s not BDSM - 2/12/2009 10:49:34 AM

dreamerdreaming

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D/s= dominance and submission.

I have a headache so I just googled you this and copied it from wikipedia:

"BDSM is a complex acronym derived from the terms bondage and discipline (B&D, B/D, or BD), dominance and submission (D&S, D/S, or DS), sadism and masochism (S&M, S/M, or SM).[1] BDSM includes a wide spectrum of activities and forms of interpersonal relationships."

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RE: D/s not BDSM - 2/12/2009 10:53:28 AM

MistressAinCT

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One can have a D/s relationship without BDSM, and have BDSM without a D/s relationship. Thought I would confuse you a bit more.

If you are looking to learn, perhaps some reading will help.

Different Loving
Sensuous Magic
The Bottoming Book

These are a few which can be found online or in any Fetish bookstore. you can visit Gloria Brame's website for some insight. I am sure some people here can also add their reading list to the mix. There is so much out there, so be careful you aren't reading PORN but informative literature.

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RE: D/s not BDSM - 2/12/2009 10:58:28 AM

FelineFae

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and don't forget M/s for Master or Mistress and slave

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RE: D/s not BDSM - 2/12/2009 11:07:20 AM

Andalusite

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D/s (or M/s) is one aspect of BDSM, which has to do with control. The other aspects are S/M (hurting someone/getting hurt, or doing intense sensation play), bondage, and discipline (punishment play that doesn't necessarily involve a power exchange dynamic). Some people here claim that D/s is "who you are" or that it is somehow more important, or even weirdly enough, that anyone who doesn't do it is vanilla. I hate to break it to them, but dangling 10' in the air in a full body harness suspension, or fireplay, and whatnot are *NOT* vanilla!

Personally, I'm open to a D/s dynamic if I react that way to an individual person, on *either* side. I started as a Domme for almost 5 years, just before I turned 21, and was most recently a submissive for almost 3 years. Neither was more "real" or more "true to who I am," that's just how I related to those two individuals. My other relationships in between were egalitarian and kinky, but they were just as important to me while I was involved with them. D/s *does* tend to involve an additional amount of vulnerability sooner in the relationship than relationships which don't have a power exchange. It's harder to say "no" when you feel submissively toward them, like you are an extension of their will.

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RE: D/s not BDSM - 2/12/2009 1:06:16 PM

feydeplume

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BDSM is an umbrella term that covers a wide variety of activities, behaviors, and sexual proclivities (as compared to fetishes). M/s and D/s are types of power exchange play.

What is the biggest difference? d/s doen't require physical touch and the others do. M/s-D/s requires a different skills (with some overlap) than say bondage.

More than that? do a websearch and hit amazon for books.

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RE: D/s not BDSM - 2/12/2009 1:40:15 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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BDSM = antiquated limited term to describe a few alternative kink activities

Ds = dominance/submission, an authority transfer based relationship dynamic

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RE: D/s not BDSM - 2/12/2009 1:41:48 PM

daddysprop247

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quote:

ORIGINAL: feydeplume

BDSM is an umbrella term that covers a wide variety of activities, behaviors, and sexual proclivities (as compared to fetishes). M/s and D/s are types of power exchange play.

What is the biggest difference? d/s doen't require physical touch and the others do. M/s-D/s requires a different skills (with some overlap) than say bondage.

More than that? do a websearch and hit amazon for books.

power exchange play? i couldn't disagree more with that assessment. if it's based around "play" then i wouldn't label it as D/s at all.

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RE: D/s not BDSM - 2/12/2009 1:46:44 PM

feydeplume

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I said play because some people do it for play only and for a few hours now and then. Not all d/s is relationship-based. some people want to play Master and servant, or Queen and lady in waiting, or sergeant and 'cruit, or coyboys and indians for that matter. And they want to do it for a few hours every now and then. I will not judge their sexual/emotional desires as less or not "real" just because they want someting in a way that is different than i do.

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RE: D/s not BDSM - 2/12/2009 3:28:13 PM

slavekal

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Dominance and Submission may have little or nothing to do with Sadism and Masochism or Bondage and Discipline...theoretically. They usually overlap, but they are not at all the same thing. I am really into a woman controlling and dominating me. I am not really into pain and I can take or leave most forms of bondage.

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RE: D/s not BDSM - 2/12/2009 3:47:04 PM

YourhandMyAss

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It is also used to denote Dominant and slave, not just Dominant and submissive.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FelineFae

Welcome to the message board. If you think your question may have been discussed already, there is a search button. That said, sometimes it takes a while to find what you are looking for.
D/s is short for Dom/me and submissive. It refers to roles or the act of dominance and the act of submission. BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline, and Sadism and Masochism, to include Sado-Maso. It refers to activities and personalities.

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RE: D/s not BDSM - 2/12/2009 4:13:17 PM

MarcEsadrian

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quote:

ORIGINAL: writehometomomma

Could someone tell me the differecne between"D/s and BDSM"?

BDSM is an abbreviation: Bondage, Discipline, SadoMasochism. This hybrid term is often used as a catch-all phrase to describe a complex gamut of lifestyles in which dominance, submission, sadism, masochism, bondage, and a multitude forms of adult-based role play are practiced. It's important to note that though the term includes the word "bondage", many BDSM relationships do not include actual bondage in the literal sense, but the simulation of it for sensory gratification. In some cases it has nothing to do with "bondage" at all.

D/s is finer in that it concerns dominance and submission specifically. It is short-hand for a relationship dynamic in which there is a Master / Mistress / Dominant and submissive / slave. Though it is more refined in meaning, D/s still covers a large span of "styles", philosophies and intensities.

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RE: D/s not BDSM - 2/12/2009 6:09:35 PM

SteelofUtah

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quote:

ORIGINAL: writehometomomma

Cold someone tell me the differnt's between"D/s and BDSM"?

The Answer to this question is Yes I can tell you what D/s and BDSM mean to me, but No I cannot tell you what they mean.

There is a History to the Acronym of BDSM which even in this thread alone has been bastardized as originally when the Advent of BDSM as a Term came about D/s commonly associated with an Authority exchange between two or more people one of which is Dominant and the other is submissive was not necessarily associate with BDSM, sure it was an Aspect of the Philosophy but it was not defines as such.

BDSM, when associated with a Person, that is to say when a person would say that they were into BDSM they were litterally refering to being into the acts of Bondage, Discipline, and Sadomasochism or S&M as it is commonly refered to. However eventually there was a desire to do other things and associate them with BDSM and eventually BDSM became a CONCEPT. To say you were into BDSM was to say you were into Kinky Activity. There were many groups of people who did not like this idea and started to retreat to thier own quarters and identify differently. The Gay Leathermen who returned from the World War were interested in a Ordered Discipline and liked the terms Master/slave and likened it to an education process in which one could not simply say I am a Master it had to be something that was worked for and a process of things. There are those who liken themselves Old Guard and for the life of me I have heard so many different definitions of what that means that I can honestly say I still have no fucking clue.

The Point is as BDSM stands today it is the Idea that you are interested in what Mainstream considers Taboo and I know many who say they are into BDSM whom I have NOTHING in common with and with as Kinky as I am that is saying something.

So What do I suggest? Order a Book. Get Screw The Roses Send me the Thorns, Get Slavecraft, Get The Story of O, Get The Beauty Trilogy, Get INFORMATION and then make an infomred decision as it applies to you because no one here can agree of what specifically BDSM means and what is does or does not include. For every two or three prople who agree there are 6 or 7 who don't.

Decide for youself and then just be happy being who and what you are and not what someone else says you should be.

Steel

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RE: D/s not BDSM - 2/12/2009 8:04:20 PM

chiaThePet

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quote:

ORIGINAL: writehometomomma

Cold someone tell me the differnt's between"D/s and BDSM"?

Three very dry vodka martinis.

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RE: D/s not BDSM - 2/12/2009 8:21:35 PM

NefertariReborn

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*hmmmmmmmmm* more than 10 posts to explain a few letters. *wonders if this thread is going to hit 3 pages* Usual explainers haven't chimed in yet.

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RE: D/s not BDSM - 2/12/2009 10:19:07 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Dang maybe once I hit 20000 posts I'll be a "usual explainer" :)

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RE: D/s not BDSM - 2/13/2009 1:34:25 AM

MG4Apuppygirl

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BDSM. Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism. I believe through my limited experience that these forms of activities do in there own right, not include the act of genital to genital contact, concentrating more on the physical and mental extensions of the participants through mutually beneficial, controlled and carefully planned participation.

D&S. Dominance and Submission. This would be the free for all aspect of the alternative lifestyle that has managed to ignore all the safety rules, confuse and invent things to suit themselves, then manage to misrepresent the former so they may turn it into nothing more than "kinky sex" for profit.

BDSM is disctinct in it's meaning, whereas D&S is confused, and when you step back to have think about it encompasses almost every aspect of mainsteam society and vanilla or religous relationship dynamics.

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