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are you different/better? - 1/16/2006 5:39:43 PM   
SweetEscravo


Posts: 193
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline 		My dom and I live in a 24.7 D/s relationship. We do not identify as Master and slave outside of scenes. He and I also like to play at a "daddy/little girl" relationship. I am just wondering, do couples in this type of relationship seem less into BDSM than those living as Master and slave? Is the Master/slave relationship the ultimate of all kinky living? Do you feel my dom is less of a dom than you may be as a 24.7 Master?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: are you different/better? - 1/16/2006 7:59:52 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		It's what ever suits you both best. I don't think that anyone seriously wants a pissing contest as to who is the best Dominant. Its a moot point really, since there is no objective way of assessing such things. Always there will be those who think they are the best and are God's gift to the scene. Let you Dom be the best he can be and then he is a good if not great Dom.

Just my thoughts anyway.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to SweetEscravo)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: are you different/better? - 1/16/2006 8:35:17 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Do you feel my dom is less of a dom than you may be as a 24.7 Master?


Nope. He's doing something right for your relationship to be so good. Happiness is what's the most important for both of you. I don't see there being anything that needs to be proven.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to SweetEscravo)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: are you different/better? - 1/16/2006 8:38:06 PM   
DesertRat


Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline 		If you're doing what makes you both happy, what could possibly top that? As IronBear said, there aren't any objective criteria for measuring such things and it's really not an issue worth worrying about. If anyone does hit you with some "24/7 is more real than sceneing" trip, it's their problem, not yours.

A few years ago I had a motorcycle. A whole bunch of journalists all over the world said that bike was the baddest machine on earth and I wholeheartedly agreed. But you know what? It didn't matter. If they all would have said another bike was better, I would not have cared. My FZR was perfect for me, and I loved it.

Bob

(in reply to SweetEscravo)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: are you different/better? - 1/16/2006 8:49:31 PM   
perfection20005


Posts: 419
Joined: 4/20/2005
Status: offline 		Master and myself are the same way. We don't live together 24/7 yet, but its only when we scene that we are Master/slave. I don't think either one is better than the other, its just what makes both of you happy. I sure don't think that my Master is less a Dom than any other Dom.

_____________________________

perfection

"I took one look at Him, and I knew He was my Master."

(in reply to SweetEscravo)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: are you different/better? - 1/16/2006 11:58:41 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

Is the Master/slave relationship the ultimate of all kinky living?


There is no 'ultimate' in all of kinkdom. If the good outweighs the bad, you laugh more than you cry, you get through the struggles and hardships and you're still there for each other... that is a success, kink, nilla, gay et al, doesn't make a rats ass bita difference.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to SweetEscravo)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: are you different/better? - 1/17/2006 3:17:43 AM   
sweetpettjenny


Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		there is no right or wrong way to be in this lifestyle, we are supposed tobe tolerant of others choices. If what you two choose to be or do makes you happy , that is all that matters. i do not live 24/7 with my owner , although we see each other almost daily, we are 24/7 Master/slave mode , even in subtle ways we are what we are. i personally can't shut it off when my front door is closed behind me when i leave the house. This doesn't make me any better or worse than you , as they are simply choices we all make.
Have fun , and stay happy!!!
Hispettjenny

(in reply to SweetEscravo)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: are you different/better? - 1/17/2006 5:12:34 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I am just wondering, do couples in this type of relationship seem less into BDSM than those living as Master and slave?


Nope. Nor would I try to judge others relationships by what I define mine as.

quote:

is the Master/slave relationship the ultimate of all kinky living?


Ahhh, labels. Labels are evil....evil, evil, evil. What works for you in a relationship will never work the same for another. Just because you do things differently, does not mean that someone else does it better or worse.

quote:

Do you feel my dom is less of a dom than you may be as a 24.7 Master?


Why would I feel that? I don't know him. If I knew him, and he was abusing you terribly, and I could see that he was abusing you terribly, then yes, I would think less of him. But just because you two define your relationship differently than what I would, does not mean that I think any less of either of you.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to SweetEscravo)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: are you different/better? - 1/17/2006 7:04:23 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		It's whatever floats your boat-- as long as you are happy and needs are met between the two of you---rock on!

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to SweetEscravo)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: are you different/better? - 1/17/2006 7:06:54 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Actually M/s is fairly unrelated to bdsm. It's the kinksters and ones who do this for fun who get into kink a lot more.

That being said, it really depends. Plenty of Ms couples play on a very regular basis. It just depends on what works for you.

I know *I* don't look down on it, but that's because I'd had 24/7 ownership relationships and I've had vanilla relationships with kink. I KNOW that one is not superior to the other.

That doesn't stop others from seeing Ms as better or richer or more supreme.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to SweetEscravo)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: are you different/better? - 1/21/2006 10:15:11 AM   
desoutter


Posts: 91
Joined: 3/21/2005
Status: offline 		Ask yourself one very important question:

Are you happy? satisfied?

There you go... All is well...

by the way - Its not a contest to see who is more into BDSM than someone else - its about enjoying yourself and your lives together... vanilla to expert... we share a common thread - Livin' / Lovin'...

desoutter

(in reply to SweetEscravo)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: are you different/better? - 1/21/2006 10:39:02 AM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: desoutter

Ask yourself one very important question:

Are you happy? satisfied?

There you go... All is well...

by the way - Its not a contest to see who is more into BDSM than someone else - its about enjoying yourself and your lives together... vanilla to expert... we share a common thread - Livin' / Lovin'...

desoutter

You nailed it!



_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to desoutter)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: are you different/better? - 1/21/2006 12:23:34 PM   
ChereeAmoor


Posts: 185
Joined: 8/1/2005
Status: offline 		I guess the 3 of us would be the Poseurs Extraordinaire around here. BDSM is what we do for fun when we feel like it. It isn't our driving choice in what we wear, how we decorate the house, where we go, or how we address each other.

And naturally, I think these two fantastic men are THE BEST _______(fill in the blank) on the planet.

(in reply to SweetEscravo)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: are you different/better? - 1/21/2006 1:23:53 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetEscravo

My dom and I live in a 24.7 D/s relationship. We do not identify as Master and slave outside of scenes. He and I also like to play at a "daddy/little girl" relationship. I am just wondering, do couples in this type of relationship seem less into BDSM than those living as Master and slave? Is the Master/slave relationship the ultimate of all kinky living? Do you feel my dom is less of a dom than you may be as a 24.7 Master?


NO

I think what is most important ... ARE YOUR HAPPY!!!!!? If you are doing being openly honest to each other in your relationship with each other and that is giving you fulfillment and happiness... well then the rest of the world can take a flying leap into the abyss if they can't respect that!

I personally don't give a fly f**k about oh another relationships M/s or D/s is more intense or less intense than another. What I do care about is if you are honest and authentic in being who you are!. No show.. no lies... no manipulations... just BE YOU whatever you is and let me be ME!. Now that doesn't mean we are going to be best buddies and all, but I will respect you even if I don't like ya *G*



_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to SweetEscravo)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: are you different/better? - 1/21/2006 1:46:39 PM   
girl4you2


Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
What I do care about is if you are honest and authentic in being who you are!. No show.. no lies... no manipulations... just BE YOU whatever you is and let me be ME!. Now that doesn't mean we are going to be best buddies and all, but I will respect you even if I don't like ya *G*

respect, honesty, and dignity i can wake up next to in the morning and be glad i'm me; keeps my bed warm, even if i'm alone

_____________________________

maireann croí éadrom i bhfad. is maith an scáthán súil charad. is leor nod don eolach.
got shoes?

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: are you different/better? - 1/21/2006 2:22:07 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: girl4you2

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
What I do care about is if you are honest and authentic in being who you are!. No show.. no lies... no manipulations... just BE YOU whatever you is and let me be ME!. Now that doesn't mean we are going to be best buddies and all, but I will respect you even if I don't like ya *G*

respect, honesty, and dignity i can wake up next to in the morning and be glad i'm me; keeps my bed warm, even if i'm alone


BUT, what if I snore?!!!!! like um LOUDLY *G*

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to girl4you2)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: are you different/better? - 1/21/2006 2:24:42 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: girl4you2

respect, honesty, and dignity i can wake up next to in the morning and be glad i'm me; keeps my bed warm, even if i'm alone


BUT, what if I snore?!!!!! like um LOUDLY *G*


She might be like me then and wake up often beside you...

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: are you different/better? - 1/21/2006 3:20:37 PM   
girl4you2


Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
quote:

ORIGINAL: girl4you2
respect, honesty, and dignity i can wake up next to in the morning and be glad i'm me; keeps my bed warm, even if i'm alone

BUT, what if I snore?!!!!! like um LOUDLY *G*

She might be like me then and wake up often beside you...

yes, and try to shove you over onto your side so you'd stop snoring, if i could!



< Message edited by girl4you2 -- 1/21/2006 3:22:34 PM >

_____________________________

maireann croí éadrom i bhfad. is maith an scáthán súil charad. is leor nod don eolach.
got shoes?

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: are you different/better? - 1/21/2006 3:24:42 PM   
girl4you2


Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

She might be like me then and wake up often beside you...

although there could be benefits to this...

_____________________________

maireann croí éadrom i bhfad. is maith an scáthán súil charad. is leor nod don eolach.
got shoes?

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: are you different/better? - 1/21/2006 3:36:57 PM   
phoenixslave


Posts: 66
Joined: 6/13/2004
Status: offline 		Master /slave roles can become so rigid and so codified that those in them fail to explore all the possibilities in a good relationship. And others work for those very reasons for those involved. No matter how you live, if it is the best way you can imagine it, its absolutely right and never more or less than anyones elses.

(in reply to girl4you2)
Profile   Post #: 20
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