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Tell the truth............ wink - 2/13/2009 6:37:20 PM   
Daddysbaby87


Posts: 15
Joined: 9/10/2008
Status: offline 		How many  sub/slave females here brought another female in the mix for her master and that situation ended up ruining your  relationship?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Tell the truth............ wink - 2/13/2009 6:50:54 PM   
PanthersMom


Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline 		sometimes when you play with fire you get burned.  sometimes you don't.  life is like that.
PM


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That which does not kill me, better run pretty damn fast

I miss my ex, but my aim is improving!




(in reply to Daddysbaby87)
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RE: Tell the truth............ wink - 2/13/2009 6:52:51 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		Never have brought in another female, so getting burnt in this never happened. I would assume depends on the people and security the submissive has inside themselves.

(in reply to PanthersMom)
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RE: Tell the truth............ wink - 2/13/2009 6:57:37 PM   
BlueEyedSubinDE


Posts: 56
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysbaby87

How many  sub/slave females here brought another female in the mix for her master and that situation ended up ruining your  relationship?


Why do you want to know?

(in reply to Daddysbaby87)
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RE: Tell the truth............ wink - 2/13/2009 6:59:11 PM   
VampiresLair


Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline 		I had a girl who brought in a boy for me to play with that ended in disaster. However, it wasnt the third who caused the problem. It was the first girl who decided that she was the one in charge when I wasnt around and was allowed to discipline him and tell me about it later. I didnt appreciate it, he left me and for good reason, and then I told her where to get off.

DV


_____________________________

Separately we are DiurnalVampire and DVsFox

10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

10/13/10 3 year anniversary of his becoming my Fox

Talk impolitely to me, baby - Thanks sunshinemiss



(in reply to oceanwynds)
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RE: Tell the truth............ wink - 2/13/2009 6:59:52 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Wouldnt happen to me since I wouldnt go there.  But I know at least 5 people personally that brought in a nice "sub sister" and found they were no longer a part of that family very soon after.
Kyst

(in reply to Daddysbaby87)
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RE: Tell the truth............ wink - 2/13/2009 7:40:11 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysbaby87

How many  sub/slave females here brought another female in the mix for her master and that situation ended up ruining your  relationship?


Honestly, if it's going to ruin the relationship I doubt it was going to work anyway. It's more likely the relationship was highly flawed, or one-sided with master only using the slave to get what he wanted and would have left the slave anyway when she could no longer provide him with anything he deemed useful. Not healthy to start with and she's better off without him.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Daddysbaby87)
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RE: Tell the truth............ wink - 2/13/2009 7:47:33 PM   
feydeplume


Posts: 935
Joined: 12/24/2008
Status: offline 		I know a few cases where HE was shown the door, but not where the first female got the boot. But hey, I don't get out much being a slave and all.

_____________________________

Wait! Are those my pants?
If it has testicle or tires, it's gonna give you the fidgets.
Pretend I said something witty and laugh.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
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RE: Tell the truth............ wink - 2/13/2009 7:51:27 PM   
StrongSpirit


Posts: 575
Joined: 4/10/2005
Status: offline 		I'm with Aquatic Sub.   There is a similar issue with sex.  Sometimes when two people have sex, the guy (or occasionally the girl) leaves the relationship right afterwards.

The "left behind" person thinks "the sex ruined the relationship."    Actually, the guy that left (or girl) only wanted sex in the first place.   They left when they got what they wanted.     The sex did not ruin the relationship, they never had one in the first place. 

It's basically the same thing, only with an extra person.  



(in reply to AquaticSub)
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RE: Tell the truth............ wink - 2/13/2009 8:07:08 PM   
LadyLetalis


Posts: 5
Joined: 1/31/2009
Status: offline 		Having a 3rd is a wonderful expierence but a relationshop has to be stable before you start adding outside influences of anykind.

(in reply to StrongSpirit)
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RE: Tell the truth............ wink - 2/13/2009 8:30:29 PM   
Badguylol


Posts: 10
Joined: 2/11/2009
Status: offline 		I had this girl I was seeing for a while who brought a friend/co-worker of hers to me. She was into bondage as well. We went out, clubbed it up a little and got completely shitfaced lol. I ended up taking both of them back to my place. I'm pretty sure we all had a great time that night, but I know my girl said that it became so awkward seeing her friend at work that she eventually quit. I felt a little bad about it and thought it was hilarious at the same time, but I can understand why it became awkward. She told me everytime she looked at her, all she could think about was how she looked bound and gagged. I think she also felt a little awkward with me from then on.. the fire certainly dimmed a bit, and we stopped seeing eachother a couple weeks after that. 

(in reply to LadyLetalis)
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RE: Tell the truth............ wink - 2/13/2009 10:04:50 PM   
Riesa


Posts: 94
Joined: 5/27/2006
Status: offline 		Even in Vanilla Relationships It Happens, my partner and I brought another woman (good friend)  into our life for a couple of nights, we had a great time, but afterwards she decided she wanted my partner, My Partner didnt want her, I didnt want her in our lives after that, she was very hard to 'shake off'', needless to say is now an ex friend. Thing we didn't think about was including a friend and a local friend at that, there again we have met one other couple who we got to know, and it worked out for us, i think each and every situation is different, no matter how strong a relationship is, can still become under threat from an outsider.
xxRiesa

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Live for today, Not for what might have been Yesterday.

(in reply to Badguylol)
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RE: Tell the truth............ wink - 2/13/2009 10:11:42 PM   
QuixoticErrant


Posts: 260
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysbaby87

How many  sub/slave females here brought another female in the mix for her master and that situation ended up ruining your  relationship?


I have never let a submissive I was interested in long term do such a thing.  While there are people who pull off poly well - and more power to you - I have seen too many friends go that route, only to have feelings of jealousy or inadequacy creep in and destroy everything. I simply would not take the risk if I were into her.


< Message edited by QuixoticErrant -- 2/13/2009 10:17:49 PM >

(in reply to Daddysbaby87)
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RE: Tell the truth............ wink - 2/13/2009 10:43:06 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I'll admit when I was young and stupid I did this. I was living with a Dom at the time. We met a sub at one of our playparties we threw. We got to know her pretty well. I knew he liked her. We talked about adding her so that he could have a fucktoy..that's all she was supposed to be..nothing more than that.

Instead it turned out they grew intimately closer until he had fallen head over heels for her and that was the end of us.

I don't regret any of it though and I hope they are happy together.

(in reply to QuixoticErrant)
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RE: Tell the truth............ wink - 2/14/2009 1:02:26 AM   
BondageBarbieX


Posts: 495
Joined: 4/1/2008
Status: offline 		never have..never will

(in reply to Daddysbaby87)
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RE: Tell the truth............ wink - 2/14/2009 8:18:49 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysbaby87

How many  sub/slave females here brought another female in the mix for her master and that situation ended up ruining your  relationship?


In my former relationship a few tried (whether I introduced them or he did) but failed.  I kept my focus on my master and not on the troublemaker.  Fortunately, he dealt with the issue and off she would go.  I do know of others who did not find this to be the case with them.  I agree with Aquatic that in such cases, the original slave/submissive is better off without the master/dominant who either couldn't or didnt want to deal with the situation.

Edit:  I misread the OP and thought she was asking if the other female ruined the relationship.  As for the actual question, my former owner's occasionally having other girls was not the problem...it was the occasional other girl who vied for position that created some of the issues.


< Message edited by NuevaVida -- 2/14/2009 8:24:45 AM >

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



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RE: Tell the truth............ wink - 2/14/2009 8:21:12 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysbaby87

How many  sub/slave females here brought another female in the mix for her master and that situation ended up ruining your  relationship?

My late husband often fucked other girls. Sometimes with me in the room, sometimes not.
As for ruining the relationship...since I had no say in whether or not he could do what he wanted...if he fucked another...that was his business...if I made a fuss over it....oh well, such is life

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


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RE: Tell the truth............ wink - 2/14/2009 8:45:13 AM   
feydeplume


Posts: 935
Joined: 12/24/2008
Status: offline 		My M and i have developed a sort of coping tool/game. We call it "dodge the mistress" with mistress being the female that wants to suddenly be his one and only "real" passion. Since my M is a hottie, he gets a lot of attention. I think it is cool and love to watch him dodge the desperate ones that start to promise anything and how he gently brings them back down to reality and generally helps their self esteem in the process.

But there are a few that just don't get that he isn't suddenly going to "release" me and they are suddenly going to be his one and only.


_____________________________

Wait! Are those my pants?
If it has testicle or tires, it's gonna give you the fidgets.
Pretend I said something witty and laugh.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Tell the truth............ wink - 2/14/2009 3:48:20 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		We're poly, and we've had occasion where we brought someone home for a mate -- sometimes, those 'fix-ups' worked out great. Sometimes they didn't go so well -- but it seems like it's pretty much the same ratio as it does when we bring in folks for ourselves, so nobody gets all that tweaked about it. Bringing a new someone home has never shattered our family, but then again, if someone wanted to spend some alone time with the person one of us brought home for hir -- a day, week, year, or five... -- that wouldn't necessarily mean xhe wasn't still considered family and welcome to come home (and bring hir lover) should xhe decide to... and if xhe decided to cut ties, we'd do our best to make sure it happened without rancor or bitterness.

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to feydeplume)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Tell the truth............ wink - 2/14/2009 4:02:35 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline 		i have been the "third" in a couple relationships...on a casual basis...and generally only play with couples that show no real signs of vulnerability. i have seen some relatiohships implode quite quickly upon the introduction of a third person, but i have also seen very successful results as well. Depends on the couple, the motivation, and the sincerity of all concerned.

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
Profile   Post #: 20
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