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RE: pain tolerance exercises - 2/15/2009 3:56:56 AM

BigSi2009

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quote:

ORIGINAL: feydeplume

thanks for wording that so well. Clarifying instructions is a much better way of putting it than "ask him what they fuck he hopes to gain from your private pain?"

I agree with fey. If it was me I would allow the sub the opportunity to ask questions to clarify the instruction. However, ideally they should be asked at the time. Coming back with questions later on when I would be expecting the task to have been completed would likely require punishment. Although I would still answer the questions afterwards.

Oh and fey, I imagine my mobile phone would never be the same if I knew you too. Sounds like a great game.

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RE: pain tolerance exercises - 2/15/2009 4:12:24 AM

sparkyRBF

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There is a set of nipple clamps that you can set the tension on them with screws. You could wear these either on your nipples, labia or clit and gradually increase the tension by tightening the screws.

As far as anal goes i'm not sure what kind of pain he is talking about. Is he wanting you to be accustom to something going in there? If that is the case, you can get different size butt plugs.. although your anus does go back to its original size within a few hours of doing this. it's isn't like it will be a permanent open wide hole once you stretch it out a bit.

But i agree with agirl, asking for clarification is not the same as questioning his judgement.
I normally start by saying, "Master, i am not questioning your judgement, but would you please clarify for me so we can acheive the desired results?" or "Master, i only desire to please you but i'm not sure what you are wanting"

Best of luck to you,

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RE: pain tolerance exercises - 2/15/2009 6:05:58 AM

SassySarijane

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I just think if he wants to increase her pain tolerance, he should physically work with her on doing it, not have her doing it on her own. Really not seeing how she's going to do it on her own.

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RE: pain tolerance exercises - 2/15/2009 6:22:42 AM

feydeplume

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back to the topic at hand (and leaving aside my cellphone's new gender issues), what kind of pain do you like in any or all of those places and how to you presently go about giving yourself that pain?

Toys, like clips and plugs, aren't necessary, just helpful tools IF they give the kind of pain you and your "He" want to have.

Random decrees to "get better at pain" are sort of a red flag bunnie. If he didn't explain why, tell you how, and have your consensual agreement (as in you actually understand why sort of consent), then back up and THINK for a minute.

Is this a long distance relationship? are you extra nervous trying new things with someone else in the room? Are you into pain at all? WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM? some text on your screen, a phone call, pillow talk, at the first meeting, after years together, from something you both or he saw in some porn or at a play space?

You sounds new, so i am asking you questions that someone who is new needs to be asked. And needs to have answers for, both from themselves and thier "he".

If you are still at a loss and need a few pain pointers CM me and i can give you a list.

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RE: pain tolerance exercises - 2/15/2009 5:44:10 PM

MyWorldCT

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I like the nipple tag game.. can you add me to the list of recipients *as my pervert side types*

Anyways... Without questioning him... I think the best way you as a sub can learn to "deal" with any pain is to practice controlling your breathing. You can do this on your own and even in public. People will think that you are practicing Lamazze (how do you spell that...? I can't remember and too lazy to google tonight).

Learn to breathe through your pain... inhale "good" air and exhale "bad" air and pain. It is the basic breathing method for meditation, so this will be a help in your everyday life as well. You need to ractice 10-15 minutes a day, and work up until you can breathe like this for 40 minutes of so. Be careful not to over hyper-ventilate, keep your breating slow and steady. If you feel that you are getting light headed, then stop and start again after a break.

Breathe through it... and have your Dom start reading these forums, so that he can learn to communicate in a more constructive manner.

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RE: pain tolerance exercises - 2/15/2009 8:31:48 PM

dreamerdreaming

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He's too lazy to come up with his own ideas? Mmkay...

Tell him the only ideas you could come up with are ideas on how to cause him pain. Because if you're going to have to come up with your own ideas of how to cause pain, then you might as well be the dominant.

OP: don't you have better things to do, than to submit to someone so clueless?

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RE: pain tolerance exercises - 2/15/2009 9:59:07 PM

peppermint

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SassySarijane

I just think if he wants to increase her pain tolerance, he should physically work with her on doing it, not have her doing it on her own. Really not seeing how she's going to do it on her own.

I have to agree with what Sarijane wrote here. If he wants her to increase her pain tolerance, then he needs to work with her and learn how to get her endorphines up so she can handle more pain.

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RE: pain tolerance exercises - 2/15/2009 10:18:25 PM

QuixoticErrant

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quote:

ORIGINAL: thebunnie

He wants me to come up with pain excerices (anal, clitoral, and for my nipples/breasts) but I don't really have any ideas. Can you give me some ideas- things that can be done daily/weekly?
Thank you for any ideas!

I don't know your Dom. I can say that once I did give a similar command to a submissive. I had purposefully left the command open ended. I wanted to see what she would come up with.

Simply put, when you hear what she came up with you start getting a lot of insights into her kinks and inhibitions. The point was not so much what she did in of itself, but rather, why that and why not something else. The other aspect of the exercise is to get her anticipating. If you only get to see her say once a week, there is an advantage to having her go off and "do her homework."

If this is what he is going for, he will be talking to you very shortly about what you are doing and what you have come up with.

Honestly, the point may simply be to put you in the position to have to think about submission.

Frequently, when I have a new submissive, I will leave her with little instructions. Things that break up her normal routine with the intrusive thought that not all of her actions are hers alone anymore - that she now has additional duties. This sets up a new routine. It reminds her that this is real. It can be as simple as telling her to polish her collar everyday - until it is mirror-shined, and discipline if not, or it can be to keep a toy in her purse and tell her that at some point during the week she will get a call at work, and that she will be told to go to the bathroom, go into a stall, close it, and insert the toy. She will then demurely return to her desk, call me back and say "done sir." If the toy is not there, she will get disciplined. Some of the calls will simply be to check that she has it.

The goal of these things is not to have her use the dong at work per se, nor is it that I have a fetish for shiny collars. The point is that she is adding a new routine, where by the very act of doing them, she is forced to think about submission and to anticipate our next session.

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RE: pain tolerance exercises - 2/16/2009 2:18:26 AM

antipode

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quote:

He wants me to come up with pain excerices

Seems simple enough to figure out, what's the problem here?

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RE: pain tolerance exercises - 2/16/2009 5:04:53 AM

sparkyRBF

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quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

quote:

He wants me to come up with pain excerices

Seems simple enough to figure out, what's the problem here?

t
I have a feeling i should resist angst here but after reading another of your 'helpful' posts i just have a few questions.

If it was that simple, why couldn't an antipode do it? Was it simpler to ask her a question that insults her intelligence and creativity instead of typing one simple idea to help her deal with pain? hmm.. who's intelligence and creativity does that really insult?

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