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sex-pectations... - 2/15/2009 12:22:45 PM   
TPEowners2serve


Posts: 4
Joined: 12/28/2008
Status: offline 		Here's another problem set for you experienced sub/slaves, 

Is it your unquestioned assumption that you WILL UNDOUBTEDLY be used for some physical sexual satisfaction of your Dom/me and (duh) that's WHY you are here in the first place?

Countering that, would you ever be searching on CM if  you'd be limited to a chaste service?  (Meaning, you'd never be sexed by Dom/me, but may masterbate or be used by others at Dom/me's discretion/command)
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: sex-pectations... - 2/15/2009 12:37:23 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TPEowners2serve

Here's another problem set for you experienced sub/slaves, 

Is it your unquestioned assumption that you WILL UNDOUBTEDLY be used for some physical sexual satisfaction of your Dom/me and (duh) that's WHY you are here in the first place?


Yes, I will be used sexually by him.  No, that has nothing to do with why I am here.


quote:

Countering that, would you ever be searching on CM if  you'd be limited to a chaste service?  (Meaning, you'd never be sexed by Dom/me, but may masterbate or be used by others at Dom/me's discretion/command)


You're making the assumption that everyone here is 'searching'

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to TPEowners2serve)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: sex-pectations... - 2/15/2009 12:38:44 PM   
SassySarijane


Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline 		Not everyone on CM is searching and many who are, are searching for a relationship not sex straight off. I'm not currently searching, just here for the boards, but everytime a "dom" "master" has contacted me and gone quickly to the sex stuff, I've moved on from them. Like I said on another thread. I'm a person, and if you have no interest in me as a person or getting to know me as a person first, then fuck you (general you).

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers
LPTnB

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: sex-pectations... - 2/15/2009 12:43:42 PM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		I'm single and I'm not searching. Sex would be the last thing on my mind if I ended up finding somebody interesting on here.
You kind of sound...weird. Maybe it's just me.

(in reply to SassySarijane)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: sex-pectations... - 2/15/2009 12:45:24 PM   
ownedlilsweetie


Posts: 6
Joined: 5/1/2007
Status: offline 		I personally have no set expectations as to how I serve. But then again, I'm weird. If my owner decides that my sole purpose is doing their laundry and the laundry of everyone else in their neighborhood, well, then, I do a lot of laundry and go to sleep happy that I was able to contribute by serving. Granted, this scenario would likely get a few "you are psycho" looks from neighbors, but I hope my point was made. As a slave-identified personage, I feel my purpose is to serve. Putting a limit or requirement on my service would defeat the purpose (pun intended). I was in a dynamic with a dominant couple a few years ago and served them for about 6 months with no sexual activity of any kind, including masturbation. I was quite happy there and completely content with the scope of my service. However, what works for me might not work for others. I find personal dynamics tend to work best when tailored to the persons involved.

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: sex-pectations... - 2/15/2009 12:54:37 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		Dude, its  M-A-S-T-U-R-B-A-T-E--it really shatters the highly successful, highly educated mystique when you can't spell.
 
Sex and chaste are the LAST things I think about by being here or any reason to search in the Life--I'm here to find a relationship and that's, well more complex and deeper than some people can comprehend.

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I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to TPEowners2serve)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: sex-pectations... - 2/15/2009 1:31:41 PM   
pinkwind


Posts: 367
Joined: 1/9/2005
Status: offline 		Our relationship is a sexual one, but there is no one on one penetrative sex as such, although there is intimate contact, insertions, masturbation etc., where to all intents and purposes i am the celibate partner.

That i am celibate due to disability does not alter the fact that the sex act was not a usual part of our kink, there were and are other elements that serve to stimulate the senses and get the juices flowing, and i am not short of crashing orgasms, that's for sure!

And no we are not both celibate, and there is not barrier to Andy having sex with another, apart from the obvious one of being completely open and upfront. There is no cloak and dagger cheating between the two of us.

i do not miss the sex act, as i said, there is so much more to concentrate on that i don't think that it matters much to either of us when we interact together.





_____________________________

pink...
Master Andy's emotion...

From Each According To His Abilities, To Each According To His Needs.

(in reply to TPEowners2serve)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: sex-pectations... - 2/15/2009 1:39:16 PM   
Chgolostnlooking


Posts: 46
Joined: 10/21/2008
Status: offline 		Both BDSM relationships I've ever had started off non-sexually.  Both relationships focused on service first and grew into a sexual role as well as a service role.

If you want kinky sex, just find kinky sex.  I like sex as much as the next guy, but I like other things as well.

(in reply to pinkwind)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: sex-pectations... - 2/15/2009 1:45:18 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		You sure make a big assumption about the people around here.  So...I will question your assumption that we are all here for sex and say that it is a very false one.  Just because YOU are here searching for a SEXUAL relationship does in no way mean EVERYONE is here searching for a SEXUAL relationship.  Heck...not everyone here is SEARCHING for anything.  Some just enjoy reading the message boards. 

I'm here to read the message boards.  It has nothing to do with sex at all.  In fact, the D/s relationship I do have really has nothing to do with sex at all.  My relationship has to do with other things besides sexual ones. 



(in reply to TPEowners2serve)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: sex-pectations... - 2/15/2009 2:06:08 PM   
FelineFae


Posts: 7756
Joined: 1/23/2009
From: i do wander everywhere...
Status: offline 		:: shaking head ::




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All right reserved by Chaos
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Individual results may vary.


(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: sex-pectations... - 2/15/2009 2:09:00 PM   
mc1234


Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline 		I need to be used for sexual service in my relationship.  Not everyone on here feels the same way, however. 

Would I be searching on CM if I were limited to chaste service?  Do you mean would I speak seriously with a Dominant who wanted me only for chaste service?  No, I wouldn't - because I need a sexual component in my relationship. 


_____________________________

** Owned by E **

(in reply to TPEowners2serve)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: sex-pectations... - 2/15/2009 3:50:42 PM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		i am a service submissive and have only recently been allowed to have limited sexual contact with my mistress by my wife. so no thats not why I'm here and the lifestyle is about more than sex and floggings.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: sex-pectations... - 2/15/2009 4:14:45 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Our relationship includes serving him sexually...just like any relationship does. It's not why I'm here though.

I WAS here to seek a relationship with a dominant personality man. I assume sex is a part of any relationship I'm going to get involved in.

I'm  here now to waste time and read the forums.

(in reply to LPslittleclip)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: sex-pectations... - 2/15/2009 4:17:06 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Our relationship includes serving him sexually...just like any relationship does


Really?
And you know this because......?

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: sex-pectations... - 2/15/2009 4:24:08 PM   
SassySarijane


Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline 		I'm with IrishMist, not all relationships include sex. Big overgeneralization.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers
LPTnB

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: sex-pectations... - 2/15/2009 4:27:41 PM   
VampiresLair


Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TPEowners2serve
Is it your unquestioned assumption that you WILL UNDOUBTEDLY be used for some physical sexual satisfaction of your Dom/me and (duh) that's WHY you are here in the first place?

ACtually, my previous and very long-term relationship was started here and was nonsexual. So, no it certainly wasnt the unquestioned assumpton that he would be used sexually.

quote:


Countering that, would you ever be searching on CM if  you'd be limited to a chaste service?  (Meaning, you'd never be sexed by Dom/me, but may masterbate or be used by others at Dom/me's discretion/command)

Being that I have found several chaste servants over my years in the lifestyle, some here some elsewhere... Id have to say yes they would be searching here as much as those looking for sexual service.

DV


_____________________________

Separately we are DiurnalVampire and DVsFox

10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

10/13/10 3 year anniversary of his becoming my Fox

Talk impolitely to me, baby - Thanks sunshinemiss



(in reply to TPEowners2serve)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: sex-pectations... - 2/15/2009 4:41:19 PM   
subangi


Posts: 544
Joined: 5/11/2008
Status: offline 		If a dominant initiates conversation with sexual expectations or questions of sexual service,  I automatically get the idea his goal in the lifestyle is finding sex on demand.  It is a turn off to me.   

(in reply to SassySarijane)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: sex-pectations... - 2/15/2009 5:00:13 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Not looking for sex, or some spiritual connection to a mythical "one".  I come for the forums with occasional mail and journalling in between.
It is a pretty broad brush you are tainting everyone with.  Many of us don't come to be used.
Kyst

(in reply to TPEowners2serve)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: sex-pectations... - 2/15/2009 5:15:31 PM   
Sandyshores29718


Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline 		Do I think I will be used for sex?  Yup...and I hope so! But...I was looking for a relationship before I found Sir...I was not looking for sex. LOL If I was only looking for sex thats really easy to find...and no I'm not being cocky just telling the truth. 

Would I look for a service type relationship?  If I was not with Sir sure.  I think that is a very interesting style of submission and I really find that interesting and would find it a test of myself; however, that could not be my primary relationship.

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: sex-pectations... - 2/15/2009 6:22:33 PM   
TrailerParkDom


Posts: 10
Joined: 12/18/2007
Status: offline 		Not everyone is into D/s and BDSM for sex. Some enjoy just the control and some just the play. Yes people may cum from play but does mean they are here for SEX. I for one am a Dom who does not need sex in my play.

(in reply to Sandyshores29718)
Profile   Post #: 20
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