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in need of help - 2/15/2009 4:52:24 PM

Abw7

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Joined: 2/13/2009
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Why is hard to find an online Mistress for somebody new? I have been looking and following some advice given earlier, but is starting out online not the best way?

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RE: in need of help - 2/15/2009 5:10:07 PM

LovingMistress45

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Online is not real. It is one thing if used when in a LDR but as the only contact it is not real.

(in reply to Abw7)

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RE: in need of help - 2/15/2009 6:05:05 PM

AlexandraLynch

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Joined: 3/24/2008
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Many people have no interest in an online-only relationship; I am one of them. I like making initial contacts online, but always with the knowledge that after a week or two I can set up a dinner date with my husband and the new person and me to see what we all think of each other.

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RE: in need of help - 2/15/2009 6:36:57 PM

YoursMistress

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I would wager that at least some of the online-only Mistress are actually men. If you shade your profile and inquiries toward bi, bi-curious, feminization etc, I suspect you may get more bites. After all, if it's on-line only, does it really matter to you who your Domme is in RL? ;)

yours

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As a rule, I don't like to make general statements.

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RE: in need of help - 2/15/2009 7:17:08 PM

trueshadow

Posts: 388
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If you want to meet a 'real' person, be prepared to actually go out in the 'real' world. I've hooked up with a few women here, as I live in a medium-sized town. But it's not easy. I suspect it might be easier if you live in San Francisco, LA or NYC. There are groups out there that hold demos, play parties etc. Living in a very rural area means you are pretty much limited to see if you can meet someone from the nearest city.

I agree that it's best to do things in reality, not on-line.

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RE: in need of help - 2/15/2009 7:33:54 PM

E2Sweet

Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Abw7

...but is starting out online not the best way?

It's my personal opinion that it is in fact not a stellar way at all to sample or understand what its like to be submissive to another in real-life-flesh-and-blood. Sure, with an online dominant you will probably get a basic introduction to some of the practices and concepts within BDSM, but I don't see a whole lot more than that being useful when or if you decide to transition from online to a real-time relationship-type thing.

It may just be wise to skip the online experience and just go for the real thing, if that's where you want to find yourself eventually anyway. In your time wrestling with all that is involved with maintaining an online relationship, you may well be missing out on a compatible dominant-type who is local and looking.

< Message edited by E2Sweet -- 2/15/2009 7:35:53 PM >

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"If it doesn't make you smile then chances are you're not doing it right."

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RE: in need of help - 2/15/2009 11:39:42 PM

subtlebutterfly

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you think online's the best way to start? oh come on now

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RE: in need of help - 2/16/2009 5:46:42 AM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
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Online works very well for some people, others don't understand how there can be a true connection. I've had many online subs and felt that we had a true bond, Keep looking and you'll find someone who would enjoy it. They are out there.

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RE: in need of help - 2/17/2009 2:09:42 PM

Abw7

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Thank you for answering me. Your comments gave me more information and things to think about. I am still interested in this, but I think I need more information so as I don't waste anyones time. Where are good places to find information? Shoulkd I keep using this forum?

(in reply to Abw7)

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RE: in need of help - 2/19/2009 9:27:14 AM

stella41b

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly

you think online's the best way to start? oh come on now

So what if the person's shy, suffering from anxiety issues or recovering from a major trauma?

Just because it doesn't suit you doesn't necessarily mean it's invalid for everybody else.

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RE: in need of help - 2/19/2009 9:35:04 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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There are also the situations where the locations just don't match up. You really never know who you are going to click with or what life situations there are going to be. I'm starting to think I should be the Collar Me poster child for that one.

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RE: in need of help - 2/19/2009 9:54:28 AM

subtlebutterfly

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Of course there're different reasons all I was thinking is that there's usually much more disappointment and frustration (at least in regards to the posts that are on this forum) due to all the fakes and those who take joy in messing with peoples heads. Out in the "real world" you are at least able to see the person you talk to right away and you get a better feeling about them even though somebody's extremely shy (even though they might take advantage or be a compulsive liar) but true..each to their own

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RE: in need of help - 2/19/2009 11:48:59 AM

GoddessTeaze

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LovingMistress45

Online is not real. It is one thing if used when in a LDR but as the only contact it is not real.

So are you fake???
Are people behind the nicks fake..??
Are feelings fake??

GoddezzT`

< Message edited by GoddessTeaze -- 2/19/2009 11:49:23 AM >

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RE: in need of help - 2/19/2009 11:39:27 PM

MsDDom

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Goddezz...there u go making me smile...

i think online is valuable in forming friendships and/or networking with people in the life. chit-chat or forum here and there...but sure at some point it will probably present itself to move offline or dissolve due to stagnation or something similar.

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RE: in need of help - 2/20/2009 9:14:43 AM

GoddessTeaze

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsDDom

Goddezz...there u go making me smile...

Hell there is that Sexy smile of
MsDDom again !!!

hmmmmmmmmmmmm

GoddezzT`

p.s. Abw7. it's possible
believe Me, it will take allot of rotten apples first,
before you'll find one !

I wish you enough.

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~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

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RE: in need of help - 2/20/2009 2:31:10 PM

LadyConstanze

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze

quote:

ORIGINAL: LovingMistress45

Online is not real. It is one thing if used when in a LDR but as the only contact it is not real.

So are you fake???
Are people behind the nicks fake..??
Are feelings fake??

GoddezzT`

I think there is a huge difference between fake and not real... You can have an online relationship but you know, the chemistry you get from face to face is different, in so far "online is not quite real" as in like real life. And online domination is certainly a lot different than doing it "real life", how do you get the sounds, smells, touches and all that online?

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Those who do and those who don't!

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RE: in need of help - 2/20/2009 3:50:29 PM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
I think there is a huge difference between fake and not real... You can have an online relationship but you know, the chemistry you get from face to face is different, in so far "online is not quite real" as in like real life. And online domination is certainly a lot different than doing it "real life", how do you get the sounds, smells, touches and all that online?

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze So what's not real?? Online is Online,
it's still about people, with real feelings and longings,
and she just judged everyone here, that everything
online isn't real, a bit shortsighted. I've had many beautiful
things happen online, yes ONLINE, because not everyone
has real life. There are many pearls online, and there is so
much to learn, it's a good way to start with D/s if you don't have
real life. So again, who is she to say it's not real.
Those feelings I feel for My subs r very real,
as well as their feelings for Me. Of course
is real life the Best there is, with the sub/Dom/me
of your dreams.
How simple is it... to find your match

We all want Real life, apart from those who doesn't.

But still, to tell Uus here it's not real?

GoddezzT`

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RE: in need of help - 2/20/2009 4:29:39 PM

LadyConstanze

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I would hope it is about real people with real feelings, but how do I know you are who you say you are? How do you know I am who I say I am?

Personally I would find domming somebody online boring, because I can't really touch or feel the person. Now why go for the substitute instead real life? So many people pretend online to be somebody they are not, what a waste of effort, if online is the best you can do, then why do it at all? That's like going to the cinema to get a "real slice of life" instead of living yourself.

Online is great for making contact, but it can never be a substitute for real meetings and I found that people who are afraid to meet, even if it is just for a cup of coffee or a chat, tend to not be who they claim they are. It's easy to declare yourself as the best Dom/me who ever graced the face of the planet, as long as you only stay online and don't meet anybody. Hey this really hot chick could be an old man who scanned in some pics...

Some people surely are who they claim they are, but then they don't want to stay online, they take it offline and meet others, if they don't then they are living a fantasy life when they could have a real life. where's the point?

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

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RE: in need of help - 2/20/2009 5:58:25 PM

SweetDommes

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In all honesty, online does nothing for me or Holly. We want to get something out of Dominating someone, and online - what use can you be? You can't clean our house, draw our baths, give us back/foot rubs, etc. This is a good place to learn and get to know people, but to look for strictly online is going to limit your opportunities, and most of those opportunities are going to require that you front some cash.

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RE: in need of help - 2/21/2009 1:11:53 PM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

I would hope it is about real people with real feelings, but how do I know you are who you say you are? How do you know I am who I say I am?

Personally I would find domming somebody online boring, because I can't really touch or feel the person. Now why go for the substitute instead real life? So many people pretend online to be somebody they are not, what a waste of effort, if online is the best you can do, then why do it at all? That's like going to the cinema to get a "real slice of life" instead of living yourself.

Online is great for making contact, but it can never be a substitute for real meetings and I found that people who are afraid to meet, even if it is just for a cup of coffee or a chat, tend to not be who they claim they are. It's easy to declare yourself as the best Dom/me who ever graced the face of the planet, as long as you only stay online and don't meet anybody. Hey this really hot chick could be an old man who scanned in some pics...

Some people surely are who they claim they are, but then they don't want to stay online, they take it offline and meet others, if they don't then they are living a fantasy life when they could have a real life. where's the point?

You can ask My subs,
and friends how real I'm.
I've no need to prove Myself here,
if You would have read Me here on the forum, You wouldn't even question Me
as You do.

I'm NO user, I'm very picky, and only want the Best.

I'm prepared to wait.. on that one for Me.

Instead of being bored with just anyone.
That's Not My cuppa T.

I dun need a housekeeper, since I can do it all Myself,
and I'll never ever
use anyone for such, simply because that's Not Me.

I'll wait on My soulmate, and when I find him/her,
I'll live My life to the Max. Simply because it was
worth the wait. And if not? I do enjoy the subs around Me.
I've learned so much from them here, and cherished
their presence, and am happy to guide them,
and teach them all I know.

That's where lies My pleasure.

And I'm blessed by having them around Me.

I wish you enough.

GoddezzT`