What does it matter if....

What does it matter if.... (Full Version)

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TrailerParkDom -> What does it matter if.... (2/15/2009 6:02:54 PM)
Ok here is my questions: If your profile basically states you are looking for an experance Dom or Master who knows the lifestyle and likes to play and your just looking for Play then why does it matter What he does for a living, what kinda car he has, his home, if he is A model or hung? I'm an Average Joe with a belly, not a Model but dont think I'm a Dog eather. I have answer the Ads of women who Say they are looking for playmates for weekend meets. there profile says nothing about wanting live in or seriouse love life with the Dom. There just looking to play. I have over 7 years experance and even worked for a D/s BDSM club in my area. I use to Demo and teach. So why is it important that I have a High end Job a new fancy car and a Big house??? Its not like the sub is going to be living with me or I'm going to be paying her bills, or what ever. Have things changed that much in this lifestlye that its getting like the swing life style where all that matter is how much $$ you got and how Many Inches a man has? I thought it was about a lot more? I thought it was about Control, or how well a Dom knew how to play? How ggod he was at his skill? I guess things on line a Lot Different then Real Life comunity? Any subs have insite on this? Any help would be great so I can understand whats going on.

SirMIkeSD -> RE: What does it matter if.... (2/15/2009 6:08:12 PM)
I would say they are looking for more then play and move on. Mike

RedMagic1 -> RE: What does it matter if.... (2/15/2009 6:12:37 PM)
Change your username. Now please understand: people who lives in trailer parks have literally saved my ass. To call them "friends" is an understatement. But. Lots of people equate living in a trailer with being incompetent. There's no reason to have that working against you from jump. Lead with strengths. SevenYearDungeonMaster is a better username than what you currently have. It's probably too long, but I hope you get the point.

TrailerParkDom -> RE: What does it matter if.... (2/15/2009 6:16:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 Change your username. Now please understand: people who lives in trailer parks have literally saved my ass. To call them "friends" is an understatement. But. Lots of people equate living in a trailer with being incompetent. There's no reason to have that working against you from jump. Lead with strengths. SevenYearDungeonMaster is a better username than what you currently have. It's probably too long, but I hope you get the point. I see your point but I would think that there still going to ask the same questions. It seems to be a thing that happens a lot to me. I have another profile as a couple and we get a lot of the same thing and its does not have trailer in the name at all. lol

kiwisub12 -> RE: What does it matter if.... (2/15/2009 6:21:24 PM)
Perhaps they equate trailer parks with people with unintelligence, or uneducated. For myself , i don't know much about trailer parks, but when i play, i want someone who is intelligent , informed and just generally interesting. and the general consesus is that you don't find much of that in a trailer park. Perhaps you could find a name that shows a bit of who you are, not where you live. [:)]

trueshadow -> RE: What does it matter if.... (2/15/2009 6:33:29 PM)
Even if a woman is torturing your balls, whipping your cock, ordering you to clean her toilet, she is still a girl how looks for Prince Charming to ride in on his white horse and rescue the damsel in distress. I personally believe female supremacy is an acquired, rather than innate, trait.

pinkwind -> RE: What does it matter if.... (2/15/2009 6:36:16 PM)
TPD, you have a nickname that carries it's own connotations, and in your long profile go so far as to describe yourself as poor white trailer trash which would serve to compound things in some people's eyes. That and you are married, and even say that your wife is willing to meet and join in. Just in the first paragraph or two you have almost damned yourself, not because you are an experienced, down to earth man, but that you talk yourself down, and have a wife. Sorry to say, the latter would be the bigger barrier than the former. Maybe you could look at your profile and maybe turn it on it's head, mentioning your experiences and such first, gain the readers interest before you mention what could be a turn off. Just a thought.

DavanKael -> RE: What does it matter if.... (2/15/2009 6:55:53 PM)
I've got to agree that the user name doesn't help nor do the incorrect word usages in your post. Were I entertaining such a scenario I(I don't do casual and am not looking but I'm trying to entertain the hypothetical for the sake of your query) , I would want to be able to meet on the same mental grounds as well as physically and the issues noted above would cause concern. I did think you raised a very interesting point about socioeconomics and other alt lifestyles. I will devote some thought to that. Good luck with that which you seek, Davan

RedMagic1 -> RE: What does it matter if.... (2/15/2009 6:57:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TrailerParkDom I see your point but This is your issue, right here. You see the point, but will not do anything about it. Dominance includes the ability to take control of a situation, and change it to your advantage. I have not viewed your profile, but if it is as pinkwind describes, then my guess is that you are disheartened about things that have nothing to do with BDSM, and it is showing up when you hit on potential subs. Deal with whatever has you down in the mouth, and your sex life will improve, by magic. For what it's worth, almost all the women I've played with off CM or Alt make more money than I do. I've spent much of my life as a community organizer in housing projects and trailer parks. I'm doing something else now, but I have very few material possessions. Women seem to like me anyway, because I am enthusiastic, and I genuinely care about them. Those two things matter more than owning a gold-plated paddle.

KatyLied -> RE: What does it matter if.... (2/15/2009 7:44:43 PM)
quote: Perhaps they equate trailer parks with people with unintelligence, or uneducated. As well as smaller endowed. (ya know, the mention the OP made about "inches").

catize -> RE: What does it matter if.... (2/15/2009 8:38:46 PM)
Learn to accept that it does matter to some people, and cross them off your list.

chainedgirl -> RE: What does it matter if.... (2/15/2009 9:43:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: trueshadow Even if a woman is torturing your balls, whipping your cock, ordering you to clean her toilet, she is still a girl how looks for Prince Charming to ride in on his white horse and rescue the damsel in distress. I personally believe female supremacy is an acquired, rather than innate, trait. As a slave, I am insulted by this comment. Not only do I know Mistresses who could run rings about Doms and are quite natural at it, I insulted that you could think any and every woman could do what I do. Not all women want the bloke in shiny metal to save them. Just because that's how it works for you doesn't make it so for everyone. Not all women can be the submissive partner either.

chainedgirl -> RE: What does it matter if.... (2/15/2009 9:51:20 PM)
TPD, OK bottom line, you are trying to deal with psychology as if it is reason. Many women do want the guy to be more wealthy and charming than they are, it adds to the allure of his 'power' in her mind. And when it comes to getting together just for a casual play session, they want the fantasy. Seeking someone for a D/s relationship is different, sure they want the fantasy, but many women would rather have reality. When looking for a casual play, you want to get away from reality. You say you are a Dom (not meant to be an insult or accusation). Then its in your power to change things. Think about what you do want and write your profile to that. If you are seeking casual play, then how important is it to be up front from the get-go about your life? I'm not saying lie to anyone. I'm simply saying give the best impression of yourself a chance and then when contact is made and questions asked, you can give honest answers, but getting to that first response is key. So change the user name. Change your profile. You don't have to go into details, simply state what you seek in a positive way. You can say 'I'm married and the wife knows' or you can say 'Not seeking 24/7 or commitment'. Essentially its the same thing, just the wording is different. Pretty much the advice you've already been given. It really is up to you. If you do genuinely seek subs to play with, then is it really asking that much to tweak your profile?

CatdeMedici -> RE: What does it matter if.... (2/16/2009 12:47:10 AM)
Online is no different than real life---different strokes for different folks--however it does affored the ability to say ," not interested" before too much effort is expended. Makes the wait seem longer to find someone but takes the mystery out of the "why don't they call/answer" phase.

rubberpet -> RE: What does it matter if.... (2/16/2009 2:44:29 AM)
I tend to agree with the people here. For whatever reason, your collarme ID seems to be the initial intro that potential playmates see. I know if I were looking for a domme strictly for play sessions, chances are I'd be initially interested in those with sexy sounding ID's (eg. - TrappedNMyWeb) instead of something with negative connotations (eg - moneydomme4u). In fact, my domme told me the only reason she even considered giving me a shot and read my intro letter was because she was intrigued with my nick. She loves the rubber fetish, so she was curious as to what a "rubberpet" was. Chances are if my ID was "oralslave2serve" or "clitcommander", she wouldn't have even read my letter. People don't have much of a way to get to know someone on here initially other than a nick, picture, and a profile. The nick and profile are ways to show your creativity, and the picture is to see if there is any attraction. Some people only play with "pretty" or "gorgeous" ones and their level of experience doesn't matter so much. Others don't really care about the looks as long as there is a chemistry and the top knows what he/she is doing. I say change your ID and speak more about your experience and what you're interested in. Show your creative side. Do something to stand out instead of making fun of your appearance and where you live. Make it short and simple, but still detailed a bit. If it's strictly for play, then all the excess descriptions aren't really needed. Just my thoughts.... Best of luck to you in your search.

TrailerParkDom -> RE: What does it matter if.... (2/16/2009 3:33:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 quote: ORIGINAL: TrailerParkDom I see your point but This is your issue, right here. You see the point, but will not do anything about it. Dominance includes the ability to take control of a situation, and change it to your advantage. I have not viewed your profile, but if it is as pinkwind describes, then my guess is that you are disheartened about things that have nothing to do with BDSM, and it is showing up when you hit on potential subs. Deal with whatever has you down in the mouth, and your sex life will improve, by magic. For what it's worth, almost all the women I've played with off CM or Alt make more money than I do. I've spent much of my life as a community organizer in housing projects and trailer parks. I'm doing something else now, but I have very few material possessions. Women seem to like me anyway, because I am enthusiastic, and I genuinely care about them. Those two things matter more than owning a gold-plated paddle. Well lets see as far as I know you need to make a new profile to change your name and I have Yet to do so becasue I wanted to think on how I can do it Right. So No I have not changed it Yet,. As far as my profile.. I put out there who I'm to be up front and Honet with people NOT becaue I'm down on my Self. As for my Sex like I have no problem in that area. And I'm not here for Sex. My Org post was to ask Why some subs are this Why .. not Why are they this way with me. If the Answer is becasue they are looking for more then BDSM Play then Fine. So be it. But I asked Why there this way if all they were looking for was BDSM Play not a LTR. Thought it was a simple question.

TrailerParkDom -> RE: What does it matter if.... (2/16/2009 3:35:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: catize Learn to accept that it does matter to some people, and cross them off your list. Thank you for the simple answer to my Question.

TrailerParkDom -> RE: What does it matter if.... (2/16/2009 3:40:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chainedgirl TPD, OK bottom line, you are trying to deal with psychology as if it is reason. Many women do want the guy to be more wealthy and charming than they are, it adds to the allure of his 'power' in her mind. And when it comes to getting together just for a casual play session, they want the fantasy. Seeking someone for a D/s relationship is different, sure they want the fantasy, but many women would rather have reality. When looking for a casual play, you want to get away from reality. You say you are a Dom (not meant to be an insult or accusation). Then its in your power to change things. Think about what you do want and write your profile to that. If you are seeking casual play, then how important is it to be up front from the get-go about your life? I'm not saying lie to anyone. I'm simply saying give the best impression of yourself a chance and then when contact is made and questions asked, you can give honest answers, but getting to that first response is key. So change the user name. Change your profile. You don't have to go into details, simply state what you seek in a positive way. You can say 'I'm married and the wife knows' or you can say 'Not seeking 24/7 or commitment'. Essentially its the same thing, just the wording is different. Pretty much the advice you've already been given. It really is up to you. If you do genuinely seek subs to play with, then is it really asking that much to tweak your profile? chainedgirl Thank you for the the great answer and replay. I play to change the name and profile but wanted time to think of the best way to word it. It has not even been 24 hours since this post and wanted to read the replies before I made the Big profile change. again thank you for the helpful advice.

TrailerParkDom -> RE: What does it matter if.... (2/16/2009 3:45:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: rubberpet I tend to agree with the people here. For whatever reason, your collarme ID seems to be the initial intro that potential playmates see. I know if I were looking for a domme strictly for play sessions, chances are I'd be initially interested in those with sexy sounding ID's (eg. - TrappedNMyWeb) instead of something with negative connotations (eg - moneydomme4u). In fact, my domme told me the only reason she even considered giving me a shot and read my intro letter was because she was intrigued with my nick. She loves the rubber fetish, so she was curious as to what a "rubberpet" was. Chances are if my ID was "oralslave2serve" or "clitcommander", she wouldn't have even read my letter. People don't have much of a way to get to know someone on here initially other than a nick, picture, and a profile. The nick and profile are ways to show your creativity, and the picture is to see if there is any attraction. Some people only play with "pretty" or "gorgeous" ones and their level of experience doesn't matter so much. Others don't really care about the looks as long as there is a chemistry and the top knows what he/she is doing. I say change your ID and speak more about your experience and what you're interested in. Show your creative side. Do something to stand out instead of making fun of your appearance and where you live. Make it short and simple, but still detailed a bit. If it's strictly for play, then all the excess descriptions aren't really needed. Just my thoughts.... Best of luck to you in your search. rubberpet Thank you for some nice and friendly advice. I'm working on my new profile and hope to have it up soon.

TrailerParkDom -> RE: What does it matter if.... (2/16/2009 3:58:18 AM)
I was not going to say much about this post at 1st but I thought I should replay to it as well. quote: ORIGINAL: pinkwind TPD, you have a nickname that carries it's own connotations, and in your long profile go so far as to describe yourself as poor white trailer trash which would serve to compound things in some people's eyes. That and you are married, and even say that your wife is willing to meet and join in. I see your point here What I thought was being honest and up front I see can be see other ways by other people. So I do agree on this it needs to come off. quote: ORIGINAL: pinkwind Just in the first paragraph or two you have almost damned yourself, not because you are an experienced, down to earth man, but that you talk yourself down, and have a wife. Sorry to say, the latter would be the bigger barrier than the former. Again point was to be Open and honest not to Talk myself Down. Some see it that way I realize now but was not the oraginal point. My Main comment to this is How is having a wife who Knows what I do, Willing to be there, Join in and help any Different then a Dom who Advertise he is looking to Add more subs to his Stable? or a sub who advertices she is looking for a sister to join her and her Dom. Again I was being up front by telling any sub who might be interested in a Play Partner that I'm married with a wife who is also in the lifestyle. quote: ORIGINAL: pinkwind Maybe you could look at your profile and maybe turn it on it's head, mentioning your experiences and such first, gain the readers interest before you mention what could be a turn off. Just a thought. This I'm doing and working to improve the new one I'm putting up with the new screen name. thank you for your advice.

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