RE: Advice needed

RE: Advice needed (Full Version)

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subtlebutterfly -> RE: Advice needed (2/16/2009 12:29:21 PM)
I must be one of the few honest ones too. I DON'T like people sneaking around in my stuff. I don't mind it if I know that they know I keep something there and they're going through my stuff to get that specific thing. But if they have no other business than to fulfill their own curiousity I'm not cool with it. I believe in respecting peoples privacy, I need a lot of privacy myself. I don't go through wallets, purses, emails etc.etc. if a person gives me access to their private stuff due to something that's the ONLY thing I do, I get in there..do what they asked me to do and then I close it..be it internet, drawers, purses, wallets whatever. I believe it can be called showing decency, being trustworthy, having morals, being respectful etc.etc. it's you know..a moral code people SHOULD abide by.

LaTigresse -> RE: Advice needed (2/16/2009 1:12:55 PM)
I agree. Even when I had minors in the house. I told them I had the right to search anywhere in my house, but that I wouldn't do it unless they gave me a reason to suspect I needed to. A good reason, a fear for their wellbeing, aka drugs. Otherwise, no. And I didn't.

kdsub -> RE: Advice needed (2/16/2009 1:24:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant I am not answering for LaT...she can do that herself but since you addressed a couple of things I also mentioned, I will answer those. As to the wallet/purse...you don't necessarily have to be totally honest to believe that it is just not right to go prying into another's private space. That is just what a wallet or purse is...something that someone owns to carry THEIR stuff in and included amongst that stuff? Important documents like Driver's License, S.S.N., Professional License, etc.. All private, all no one else's business. What other stuff? Old letters, pictures of past and present lovers, children, friends, etc.. All personal, all private UNLESS permission has been granted by the holder to view this. Sort of like walking into a store and deciding that since the counter boy isn't there, it's O.K. for YOU to open the cash register and ring up your sale. As to the part about any question asked with honesty and good reason automatically being a non-intrusive question (not butting into someone else's business)? In what world? Just because a question is honest and has good reason behind it doesn't make it automatically polite and O.K.. After all, the person doing the judging of whether or not the question is honest and has good reason is the person asking it, not the person being asked. My choosing to not answer a question that you have asked...in all "honesty" and with "good reason"... is not me choosing to hide something from you or me being dishonest, it is me deciding that it is none of your business and you were rude to ask it. So what if this business that is no one else’s happens to be illegal... should you ignore it then? What if this business affects you personally or someone you know... is it still none of your business... Like I say we do not have all the facts. I never said it would be non-intrusive or polite... all I said was it would have consequences. Some questions will be rude... But rude does not mean they should not be asked. Butch

MissMorrigan -> RE: Advice needed (2/16/2009 2:23:19 PM)
The bottom line is, it will differ with each individual, what one perceives as the correct course of action isn't necessarily the same for another and that is also true insofar as how we analyse another's words. Without the OP having stated they were snooping, most adopt a negative viewpoint and interpreted the words 'I have discovered by accident" to mean, "I was snooping". Hopefully the OP will clear that up for us. quote: ORIGINAL: kdsub So what if this business that is no one else’s happens to be illegal... should you ignore it then? What if this business affects you personally or someone you know... is it still none of your business... Like I say we do not have all the facts. I never said it would be non-intrusive or polite... all I said was it would have consequences. Some questions will be rude... But rude does not mean they should not be asked. Butch

subtlebutterfly -> RE: Advice needed (2/16/2009 3:11:08 PM)
depending on the individual you say.....but..isn't it more like that it depends on the culture? Isn't this more of a culture thing..than anything else? We're usually taught moral codes that we use which helps us fit into normal society (I'm not saying everybody is taught it) I suppose like in the middle east (no pun intended) or in societies where the male is the head of the family and can do whatever he wants, can ransack their wives/daughters place in find of evidence of whatever he thinks she may have done wrong or beat the shit outta her 'till he gets to hear what he thinks is the truth, people wouldn't mind. However in western society it wouldn't be accepted. In china there is absolutely no personal space you have and the authorities censor every single thing..even google, I don't think it'd be accepted in the western society... I don't know..I couldn't exactly think of good examples BUT even though these things are different I believe they all kind of stem from the same thinking. Regarding the illegal part, are you going to call the police every time your friend parks illegally? Are you going to tell the authorities of all the illegal downloads? If your friend is going to kill a person of course you inform the authorities if you see you can't talk sense into him. Did your friend kill somebody? of course you try to convince him to turn himself in but otherwise you let the police know, is your friend going to rob a bank? same thing..you probably contact the authorities unless you want to take part in all the action and have some fun. It depends on what kind of illegal thing. I mean come on a person that has multiple personalities online? Every single person online takes the risk of the person on the other side may be a fake. It's a risk they choose to take. If the person feels the need to have multiple accounts then I'm not going to report him, it may diminish my respect for him but it's absolutely none of your business. He'd have every single right not to answer your question I mean how on earth do you accidentally come about somebody with multiple accounts without being disrespecting his privacy? (well unless..like colouredin said..the person has tons of profiles with the same picture) I believe making it your business would make you just as bad as he is (in a different way but still) unless in a case which would be like coloredin mentioned rant ended

TheHeretic -> RE: Advice needed (2/16/2009 3:14:37 PM)
I'm wondering about the "discovered by accident" part myself. Unless we have a shared computer, and the roomie just exits without closing the various profiles, I'm not seeing how someone would stumble onto that. I can't imagine ANY non-snooping scenario where the OP would learn how the profiles were used. You don't "accidentally" read enough email to get that.

hardbodysub -> RE: Advice needed (2/16/2009 4:40:23 PM)
I can see how one might "accidentally" discover the three profiles, although I'm still a little skeptical about it being accidental. I can not see, however, how one may "accidentally" go through his correspondence. That is clearly an invasion of his privacy. If you're right about what he's doing, I don't condone it, but neither do I condone what you did. And frankly, you really don't know he's done anything wrong. He may be targeting phonies running a scam by posing as "women from poor countries", and he's stringing the scammers along to waste their time. Any time they waste means fewer victims getting suckered. And I hear that it's great sport.

DavanKael -> RE: Advice needed (2/16/2009 6:16:01 PM)
If you think so poorly of this person, get another housemate. If your emotions lie elsewhere, give them some honest contemplation. Best wishes, Davan

came4U -> RE: Advice needed (2/16/2009 7:05:59 PM)
quote: I can see how one might "accidentally" discover the three profiles I can't. Only one collarme profile would be able to be logged in at a time on one computer, nothing in history contents would validate such even if you searched for them. Once signed out, it would return you to a login page. If one was left 'on' by accident then yes, you would know one of them. Once you log out of one, it would log you out and would not save login if you went back in pages. This is no accident. Impossible. (unless the person kept a wordpad list of his niks and passwords etc)

MissMorrigan -> RE: Advice needed (2/17/2009 12:12:48 AM)
Again, you have assumed, without any kind of fact to base your perception on, that the OP was snooping through the housemate's computer. I can think of a number of other ways people can come across the same information but without having resorted to deliberately infringing a person's privacy. Kangaroo Court mentality is a reason why many people don't come forward to report crimes, "Oh, you just happened to 'find' this wallet, Sir, and it just 'happened' to have no cashola in it when you 'found' it?" Yeah, largely cultural, go figure. quote: ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly We're usually taught moral codes that we use which helps us fit into normal society (I'm not saying everybody is taught it) I suppose like in the middle east (no pun intended) or in societies where the male is the head of the family and can do whatever he wants, can ransack their wives/daughters place in find of evidence of whatever he thinks she may have done wrong or beat the shit outta her 'till he gets to hear what he thinks is the truth, people wouldn't mind. However in western society it wouldn't be accepted.

ALAstella -> RE: Advice needed (2/17/2009 2:22:42 AM)
I don't see anything wrong. I mean, how do we know he isn't a politician or a tabloid journalist? st.

subtlebutterfly -> RE: Advice needed (2/17/2009 5:34:07 AM)
Again? that's good to know. Actually and apparently you didn't read my message where I referred to couloredin's suggestion that it might have happened in a different non-prying way. And duh this wasn't about a wallet, it was about a moral question, do you or do you not go through a persons personal things. Simple. Yeah cultural, a privacy a western person may take for granted may not be taken for granted in other cultural worlds.

DesFIP -> RE: Advice needed (2/17/2009 9:39:32 AM)
If you find his ethics questionable, then make plans to not renew the living situation when the lease is up. If you rent to him, find someone else to rent in his place. If you rent from him, then look for somewhere else to live. In the meantime how did you discover this? Looking through his computer is wrong.

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