Responses

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Blue08 -> Responses (2/16/2009 5:53:46 AM)
I have a concern that I'm hoping the Dommes out there can perhaps help me with. As i browse many of the profiles from Dominant Females I quite frequently come across complaints that the responses they receive from subs are usually one-liners, terribly composed and written, or perhaps do not supply the information that the Domme requested. Yet, when a well composed and written, well thought out, detailed, polite, respectful letter of inquiry is sent to the Domme, it seems to me that at least something should be sent back in return rather than nothing. How long can it take to simply type "thanks but no thanks" if the Domme is not interested? Does being Dominant mean that one is exempt from basic human courtesies? I take my time and put alot of thought and alot of my soul into writing to a Domme and I'm very observant that out compatability and interests are similar. After awhile it becomes tedious and frustrating to sit down and compose a well crafted letter only to have no response at all. Are there any Dommes out there who can possibly provide me with some insight into this? Thank You.

CatdeMedici -> RE: Responses (2/16/2009 6:00:20 AM)
I hate to say it, but its a crap shoot-Dominas get on the average 30+ emails a week as the ratio of male subs to Dominas (on here at least) is through the roof--so a well written one does help give more guidance than a oneliner, but no response is a response--so take it for that and move on--sorry but social ammenities here for many do not exist.

Lynnxz -> RE: Responses (2/16/2009 6:09:29 AM)
It's because one, femdoms get massive amounts of emails, and two, if they do send a 'no thank you' many subs will follow up with complaints, insults, and general pissyness. [>:]

chamberqueen -> RE: Responses (2/16/2009 6:12:46 AM)
LOL - try 30+ emails a DAY in some cases. When I had my profile on CM as a Domme there were days when I literally got over 100 emails. blue08, just keep it up. I can tell you from when I was a Domme that I got tired of emails that only said, "hello", or where the sub was absolutely certain that he was the one I had been waiting for all of my life. Take the time to read the Domme's profile and make an intelligent comment on it. I never would have believed that I would get sick of people telling me that I was beautiful but when I started hearing it 10 times a day from men who only wanted me to get them off it became very tiring. I would much rather have someone say that something I said in my journal touched their heart and then tell me how.

littlesarbonn -> RE: Responses (2/16/2009 6:41:26 AM)
You kind of have to think of it this way. You are sending unsolicited email to someone, hoping for a response. You deserve no more response than someone deserves who sends out an advertising mailer about a new pizza joint. NO ONE deserves a response, not even the dominants who are looking for submissives. If you get one, that means you touched the right nerve. If you didn't, move on. If someone is not interested in responding, they really shouldn't feel obligated to have to respond because someone else felt the desire to make contact. Personally, I try to respond to everyone, but there are a few random mails I get that I suspect are being mass sent, and those just get deleted without a second thought.

marie2 -> RE: Responses (2/16/2009 6:50:46 AM)
I'm not a female dom, I'm a sub, but we gets tons of mail too. I won't respond if it's a stupid one-liner, or just "hello", or if they say something that makes it clear that they haven't read my profile (example, I say local to south jersey only, and I get an email from someone in CA), or if the letter is clearly a form letter that gets mass-mailed. If I get a polite email that speaks to why a person wrote me, or what it was in my profile that makes them think we have things in common etc, I will answer even if I'm not interested in them for some reason. I appreciate someone's time and effort, and I think that deserves a response. I really do. But that's just me.

thetammyjo -> RE: Responses (2/16/2009 8:33:27 AM)
I'm only going to say this once for I believe it to be true in BDSM as it is in other aspects of life: Not getting a reply is your reply. No one is obligated to respond to you and in fact for centuries in formal manners responding when one is not obligated has been seen as opening the door to further communication which is often not what one wants when one wishes to simply say "no". I can understand that it hurts when one reaches out and there is no reply but honestly that is your reply: they are not interested. Oh, and don't assume that people who wish things were different will themselves behave in a different fashion. People love to complain so just because someone grips about one-liners or poorly written emails means nothing in terms of what she will reply to.

MsDDom -> RE: Responses (2/16/2009 12:35:17 PM)
i dont think there is a "rule book", but there is personal preference. i dont think every Domme/Mistress requires the same...and i dont think every sub is writing soliloquies. i figure this, if specific information is asked of u, share it... if u feel an introduction is detailed, do that... if u want to send one or two sentences, then do that... it is definitely between the two P/people that decide the level of communication required...

Lockit -> RE: Responses (2/16/2009 12:38:30 PM)
I made my own rule book and it is found on my profile. In fact, so few read the profile and contact, polite or not, that I took my personal information off recently and just put the rules up again. They seem to serve me better. I don't respond? Go see which rule you broke. lol

MsDDom -> RE: Responses (2/16/2009 12:51:46 PM)
u know i am going to look...lol [:D] [after looking] love this one Lockit: "I do not do men I could have birthed, figure I am 51 and gave birth after my teen years... you do the math. " heck i should have one up like this!! [:D]

Lockit -> RE: Responses (2/16/2009 12:59:38 PM)
LOL... you should have seen the list of rules when I still did chat!

Lockit -> RE: Responses (2/16/2009 1:07:42 PM)
Okay... I am now getting more email's and harassed! lol That bratty one was cute though! lol

MsDDom -> RE: Responses (2/16/2009 3:16:47 PM)
damn boys...huh! [:)]

LadyPact -> RE: Responses (2/16/2009 5:35:09 PM)
There's the opposite side of it as well. Just as there are introductory emails that are too short, there are also initial emails that are entirely too long. No one has the time to go through someone's written version of their life story in the first email. Keep the length reasonable.

LadyMerrisa -> RE: Responses (2/16/2009 11:57:00 PM)
Yeah...I said "no" yesterday to some sub, and he answered in very impolite manner. And I'm new here. So I'm not surprissed, that Dommes are often not respondingto many emails.

DeathinRevelry -> RE: Responses (2/17/2009 1:34:31 AM)
quote: ORIG: LadyMerrisa Yeah...I said "no" yesterday to some sub, and he answered in very impolite manner. And I'm new here. So I'm not surprissed, that Dommes are often not respondingto many emails. Yep, that's pretty par for the course with me as well. And then there are those that I am curious about looking into, where I send a letter back with a few questions that ends without a reply. And still, it's better than the bar scene...

idroolchicksrule -> RE: Responses (2/17/2009 7:02:15 AM)
I will respond to any civil form of contact from a dominate just out of principal. I guess that's not too strange for a sub.

thetammyjo -> RE: Responses (2/17/2009 8:37:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: idroolchicksrule I will respond to any civil form of contact from a dominate just out of principal. I guess that's not too strange for a sub. That is your choice but it is not an obligation we have to each other in terms of formal manners. I just don't like not hearing from someone I don't know bother and I'm not sure why I should let it bother me. I have no emotional investment in a stranger, why would I?

MissGingerrella -> RE: Responses (2/17/2009 1:05:31 PM)
That just happened to me to. I turned a sub down because he obviously didn't read my profile before writing me, and he wrote me a really rude and nasty response.

LadyMerrisa -> RE: Responses (2/17/2009 1:41:44 PM)
Well, I think some of these guys are assuming, that if you are describing yourself as a Mistress, you should be willing to play with them however they want you to, only because they are "submissives". And if you're not, they are getting mad, cause they simply didn't get what they expected. Really anoying thing...o_O

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