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Have you ever taken things too far? - 1/18/2006 5:24:35 AM

Jewelry

Posts: 17
Joined: 1/18/2006
Status: offline

Please forgive my ignorance on all of this I am a novice. Hell I didn't even know I was submissive until a couple of years ago when I had a fling with a younger dom. I was suprised and shocked at myself and at the same time it felt so very natural to me.(hope that makes sense) He remarked that he had never been with someone so submissive and willing to please as me. Anyways, two years later, I run into him again. We talked, and both of us admitted we had not found another partner as *intense*.

Anyways, we get together that night. But things went entirely too far and very dark. He was getting off on sticking his fingers down my throat so I couldn't breathe until I became unconscious. He said he wanted "sucked off by blue lips". This went on over and over a two-hour period. And once, I didn't start breathing again right away. I remember being able to hear his voice and somewhat aware of what was going on, but I could not respond, could not feel my body. After I did come to, I remember him frantically asking me the standard questions: What year is this? Who is president? things like that. Stuff I should be able to answer but at the time I couldn't. Never-the-less, it didn't stop him from doing it again a couple of times after that. He wanted me to be scared. I told him "you won't kill me, you wouldn't kill me" but he replied "oh yes, I could kill you"

Does this have anything to do with true dominance or could this be the beginning of a killer?

<confused>

Post #: 1

RE: Have you ever taken things too far? - 1/18/2006 5:38:31 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

Does this have anything to do with true dominance or could this be the beginning of a killer?

niether... just sounds like two people who let things get carried away.

He was obviously concerned about you or maybe just freaked out about the trouble he could have been in, but it sounds more like he had no intent to kill you. You allowed this activity to continue. Do you have a death wish? My guess would be no, but placing yourself in such an unsafe situation by no means proves how submissive you are.

Take a step back from such risky activities if you are left feeling confused or uncomfortable. If you engage in them... make him prove he is capable of reviving you... certified in CPR.

Edgier play can be a very intense rush. Edgier play has risks. If you willingly engage in them you must be aware of what you are getting yourself into & be prepared to take responsibility for the outcome.

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to Jewelry)

Post #: 2

RE: Have you ever taken things too far? - 1/18/2006 5:44:01 AM

Jewelry

Posts: 17
Joined: 1/18/2006
Status: offline

Thank you for your honest answer. This is a bit embarrassing for me. I've only had limited experiences and only with this guy. After that incident, I haven't seen him again. But it does make me leary of exploring and meeting someone new.

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 3

RE: Have you ever taken things too far? - 1/18/2006 5:46:27 AM

IceyOne

Posts: 258
Joined: 1/13/2006
Status: offline

quote:

niether... just sounds like two people who let things get carried away.

Yes, two people who got carried away, but he should have stopped when she became inable to answer his questions. To me, his attitude towards her safety is inexcusable.

_____________________________

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

-Rumi

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 4

RE: Have you ever taken things too far? - 1/18/2006 5:53:01 AM

Jewelry

Posts: 17
Joined: 1/18/2006
Status: offline

attitude? I was tied and oxygen depravated. I couldn't even tell what was real half of the time. I've never been so compeletly helpless in my life....that is what he was going for I think. I remember before my legs were tied, kicking frantically trying to get free to breath. He just hit me and threatened to break my legs if I continue. I will admit responsibility in this but truly, I never thought it would go that far you know???

(in reply to IceyOne)

Post #: 5

RE: Have you ever taken things too far? - 1/18/2006 6:02:16 AM

IceyOne

Posts: 258
Joined: 1/13/2006
Status: offline

It's not normal for any Master or Dominant to treat someone in that way. His total lack of concern for your safety, and for your wishes makes him dangerous.

_____________________________

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

-Rumi

(in reply to Jewelry)

Post #: 6

RE: Have you ever taken things too far? - 1/18/2006 6:18:43 AM

Jewelry

Posts: 17
Joined: 1/18/2006
Status: offline

Icey,

It had never been that way with him before. It was always intense, but never scary or dark. I wonder what has happened to him?

(in reply to IceyOne)

Post #: 7

RE: Have you ever taken things too far? - 1/18/2006 6:19:28 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

quote:

Does this have anything to do with true dominance or could this be the beginning of a killer?

niether... just sounds like two people who let things get carried away.

He was obviously concerned about you or maybe just freaked out about the trouble he could have been in, but it sounds more like he had no intent to kill you. You allowed this activity to continue. Do you have a death wish? My guess would be no, but placing yourself in such an unsafe situation by no means proves how submissive you are.

Take a step back from such risky activities if you are left feeling confused or uncomfortable. If you engage in them... make him prove he is capable of reviving you... certified in CPR.

Edgier play can be a very intense rush. Edgier play has risks. If you willingly engage in them you must be aware of what you are getting yourself into & be prepared to take responsibility for the outcome.

IMHO this does not sound like edge play, she did not start out saying--" we were going to try XXX and it went too far" It sounds to Me like she was noncensual in this other than wanting a "hot" night--so here is My advice

he is a freak-- he went too far and totally ignored your safety--that is not a true Dominant--breath play and asphyxia are very very dangerous edge plays that take a tremendous amount of skill--you could have aspirated and drowned in your vomit and no amount of CPR can help that--

If he gets off on necrophilia, tell him to get a job in a mortuary.

And as a former police officer I am extremely opposed to breathe play and asphyxia.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 8

RE: Have you ever taken things too far? - 1/18/2006 6:23:16 AM

IceyOne

Posts: 258
Joined: 1/13/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jewelry

Icey,

It had never been that way with him before. It was always intense, but never scary or dark. I wonder what has happened to him?

Sounds to me as if he got hung up on his own power. If I were you, and this really is just friendly advice, I am not judging you in any way...if I were you, I would stay very clear of this person. He is truly dangerous.

_____________________________

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

-Rumi

(in reply to Jewelry)

Post #: 9

RE: Have you ever taken things too far? - 1/18/2006 6:27:57 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jewelry
Does this have anything to do with true dominance or could this be the beginning of a killer?

This is kinky edge breath play. That's like asking if flogging has anything to do with dominance. It's play, not relationship.

Sadists can be scary people. It's not all just fluffy elkskin wrapping around your skin.

Edge play IS dangerous, it CAN be deadly. And it does sound like he went too far too fast. That doesn't mean he would kill unethically.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Jewelry)

Post #: 10

RE: Have you ever taken things too far? - 1/18/2006 6:44:27 AM

wouldlike2

Posts: 89
Joined: 9/25/2005
Status: offline

.. honestly for myself it does sound neither safe, nor in consense....
i do not know.. but i do have some experiences and some not. communication i think is the best thing.. before something is happen. ...especially never tried before.
even when thinks went well - like it has done for You at the moment.. the bitter taste of doubt is still there...
and i am not sure if thats the point of submission - neither of Dominance....
just my two cent.....

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 11

RE: Have you ever taken things too far? - 1/18/2006 6:59:36 AM

Jewelry

Posts: 17
Joined: 1/18/2006
Status: offline

Thank you all for your replies. I've really had no one to talk about this to and it has scared me. It didn't seem to me that this was normal dominance...it was a feeling of "absolute power" and a "descent into madness" (his words). But I think in the end he scared himself. I hope so anyways.

(in reply to wouldlike2)

Post #: 12

RE: Have you ever taken things too far? - 1/18/2006 7:11:40 AM

Heinz

Posts: 65
Joined: 4/19/2005
Status: offline

If this is not your THING ......................
than stop it !!!!!
A master has to know what the desires of his slave are,

Heinz

_____________________________

Heinz, from Holland (Europe)

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 13

RE: Have you ever taken things too far? - 1/18/2006 8:18:33 AM

Newbie1sub

Posts: 5
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

but placing yourself in such an unsafe situation by no means proves how submissive you are.

Dear Mstrpassion,

with all respect, but the words like You told show the submission - for me thats BS.
a lot of sub/ slaves probably heard that before.. and words like that.. it does show how deep your submission is... shows how much you adore me.. love me....
for me - thats a basic of abuse.
may i am a bit sensitive about things like that.

but as a sub/ slave before i do put myself in a situation .. i talk talk talk...
and one of the things i do expect from a Dom/ Master is that he know when he has to stop. if He is not sure about then He should stop before and not moving forward to the edge until the signs not longer unseen....

for me it mean

safe sane and consensual

all other things are sick... sick... and may abuse......

i had to get that off my chest - smile -

and wish You a wonderful day

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 14

RE: Have you ever taken things too far? - 1/18/2006 8:20:07 AM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

i hate to say it but.....

ooooooooo kinky. That was a really hot story = )

But uh, yeah he's unsafe and um i wouldnt trust him with my life, but then i dont even know him.

(in reply to Heinz)

Post #: 15

RE: Have you ever taken things too far? - 1/18/2006 8:23:24 AM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

Personally, I find breath "play" dangerous. I care for a slave or submissive as I care for any of my valued possessions. I don't put them unnecessarily in harm's way. I find females to be much more pleasing when warm and alive than dead.

(in reply to Jewelry)

Post #: 16

RE: Have you ever taken things too far? - 1/18/2006 8:55:19 AM

Slipstreme

Posts: 817
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline

I have played a little with breath play, on both ends, but even this was for periods of time no more than about 45 sec. We plan on staying alive here, pressing further only so much as we increase our lung capacity (swimming anyone?). Yes though, the rush can be exciting. It is. On both ends of the equation, but remembering you are playing with a technique that can kill is enough to keep you focused on reality. I've yet to take this form of play too far, and I don't plan to. Ultimately, I care too much for the person I've done this to, to let them slip the bounds of Earth from me.

(in reply to amayos)

Post #: 17

RE: Have you ever taken things too far? - 1/18/2006 9:07:25 AM

ArtfulTrainer

Posts: 24
Joined: 12/9/2005
Status: offline

Sounds like you should work on your negotiation skills.
I get the impression that you had not discussed and agreed to breath play prior to the activity.
If that is correct, then I think you were playing with an unsafe, possibly unethical player and your life was probably at risk.
If on the other hand you discussed and agreed to the activity, then I probablywas just a scene gone a little too far--or maybe just right, after all the rason it its called edge play is because it takes us to the edge.
-A.T.

(in reply to Slipstreme)

Post #: 18

RE: Have you ever taken things too far? - 1/18/2006 9:49:18 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ArtfulTrainer

Sounds like you should work on your negotiation skills.
I get the impression that you had not discussed and agreed to breath play prior to the activity.
If that is correct, then I think you were playing with an unsafe, possibly unethical player and your life was probably at risk.
-A.T.

Yes, kind of hard to negotiate when you are choking out--"Sweetheart Sassy can't breathe!"

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to ArtfulTrainer)

Post #: 19

RE: Have you ever taken things too far? - 1/18/2006 10:23:42 AM

subtoFemDommes

Posts: 72
Status: offline

quote:

Take a step back from such risky activities if you are left feeling confused or uncomfortable. If you engage in them... make him prove he is capable of reviving you... certified in CPR.

As someone who is certified in CPR, AED, Adult and Infant First Aid and was re-certified yearly in all; and as someone who's been on both sides of some degree of breath play, let me introduce my exceptionally judgmental view of this. This guy is a freak who will kill someone and is just working his way up to it. And, CPR won't restart your heart dear, which can be stopped by that kind of activity. Only an AED unit can do that, and by the time the paramedics get there (assuming Mr. Freak doesn't just decide he's made it to his ultimate goal) you will be brain damaged. Caveat Emptor.

< Message edited by subtoFemDommes -- 1/18/2006 10:25:49 AM >

(in reply to Jewelry)

Post #: 20

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