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DDraigeuraid -> Hollywood Squares...for us old farts (2/17/2009 9:13:28 PM)
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Hollywood Squares: If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics,this may bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answersare from the days when ' Hollywood Squares' game show responseswere spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall wasthe host asking the questions, of course.. Q. Do female frogs croak?A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water longenough. Q.If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how highshould you be?A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it. Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes. Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a manor a woman?A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake. Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party andyou think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him ifhe's married?A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning. Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency. Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'ILove You'?A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and atwenty. Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the nextapartment. Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or lesswith your hands while talking?A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more 'growingold' question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll neverforget. Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily. Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you goingto get any during the first year?A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries. Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy. Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects atnudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures. Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in thecloset?A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in thebedroom. Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out. Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will waghis tail. What will a goose do?A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark? Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark. Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with gettinginto the habit of kissing a lot of people?A.. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army. Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, whatis it?A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn'tneglected. Q.Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradishon his head, what was he trying to do?A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth. Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wifeor your elephant?A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant? Q.When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him. Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes inthem and has actually seen them on at least two occasions.What are they?A. Charley Weaver: His feet. Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.
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